# Those who have sex, do you go nuts when you don't get any? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 28, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790 "2003-11-28T22:41:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/21 "2003-11-29T15:00:02Z")
Yeah, it’s tough. There was this one time when I broke my hand and didn’t get any for WEEKS… ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/22 "2003-11-29T15:12:57Z")
The vaccuum hose wasn’t good enough for you. Snob. 🙂 I’ve always felt that if they could come up with some sort of Patch, like the nicotine one, to release endorphins into the brain to simulate the sex high without the wet spot. It would be a must have for any corporate board meeting. 🙂 Boss Man: Johnson, what do you think about these flow charts? Johnson: ( instead of being uptight, is experiencing a mental orgasm and speaking like Luther Vandeross.) Mmmmm, looking good. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/23 "2003-11-29T16:21:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > I’ve always felt that if they could come up with some sort of Patch, like the nicotine one, to release endorphins into the brain to simulate the sex high without the wet spot. Classic. IMO, if you can’t be with the one you love, love yourself. A lot. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/24 "2003-11-29T17:32:58Z")
Whilst in my sadly-failing marriage and due to many mental problems, there were times when we barely had sex a couple of times within a year’s span. Now however, with my new lover, I can hardly stand to go a week without. The difference being the _type_ of love making. It’s such a connection, so deep and bonding, it’s more him that I hate to not have than the sex (although that’s mind-blowingly awesome!). 😃 It’s just that necessary. Furthermore, I do make it while we are apart. Like others have said, there IS a way to survive those purely physical urges when one must. And as I’ve found out, it seems that being it love predicates that ‘one must’ more often. I do prefer my sweetie though. Just something in the way… Ooops, sorry. What?! ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/25 "2003-11-30T00:27:15Z")
Because my birth control pills just got run over on I-90 (along with my laptop and some other goods), I won’t be having sex for a bit. The idea kinda sucks, and I wish I could have sex, but it’s not like there aren’t other sex-based options. Then again, I have gone a month or more without sex (and at one point, 7 months, though the sex I had before that was pretty craptastical, so I wasn’t missing much). It sucks, and sex happens quicker when we DO get together, but it’s not as though I’m gonna DIE without it, you know? ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/26 "2003-11-30T04:17:07Z")
Personally, I am in the worst sexual drought of my adult life, and it sucks. The last year or so of my last LTR was pretty celibate, and since the break up a year ago nothing meaningful has really stuck, so I can’t rely on getting it regular, which is mighty annoying. I think the gender stereotype on sex reverses itself in the third decade of life; I am far more interested in sex than most of the thirtysomething (and younger!) men I meet. I am shocked by this, but maybe it’s just that I now have the libido usually attributed to 17 year old boys, except that I’m a 32 year old woman. Masturbation is all well and good, but it’s no substitute for the real thing. I definitely would like to be in a relationship, for the emtional fulfillment and the guaranteed nookie. It’s just not as easy as it was when I was last on the market, 5 years ago. Long story short, yeah, it DOES drive me nuts when I can’t get any, but them’s the breaks. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/27 "2003-11-30T04:28:59Z")
I first had sex in February 2001 (it was also the first time climaxing via someone else). I had semi-regular sex until this past July, with the longest drought in that time being two months. Now, I think I’m in the minority with the intensity levels, but I _really really really_ want to love and be loved, and I _really really really_ want to have sex. Considering my track record, I won’t be getting both together for quite some time, but if either one presented itself, I’d go for it (depending on the person, obviously- Luckily, my top head remains smarter than my bottom head). ---
**Author:** ![wendyrules](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/85e7bf/32.png) [@wendyrules](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wendyrules)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/28 "2003-11-30T05:19:14Z")
There’s just one thing to be said in favour of masturbation, that being, at least you don’t have to look your best! ---
**Author:** ![boofy\_bloke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@boofy\_bloke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boofy_bloke)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/29 "2003-11-30T05:42:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > **I’ve always felt that if they could come up with some sort of Patch, like the nicotine one, to release endorphins into the brain to simulate the sex high without the wet spot.** It’s called chocolate. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/30 "2003-11-30T11:36:21Z")
A couple of years for me. I had my reasons for not wanting to have it, so you could say it was self-imposed. I’m with some other dopers here; I’d just as soon take matters into my own hands than sleep with someone I had no feelings for. The emotional aspect of sex (with someone else) ranks pretty high for me. Not to say I haven’t tried it that way, it’s just not as enjoyable. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by boofy\_bloke \* > \*\*It’s called chocolate. \*\* It’s called _dark_ chocolate. More precisely, dark chocolate covered espresso beans. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Griffin)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/31 "2003-11-30T12:15:22Z")
I think it’s good to have a break from it. You can concentrate more on other things. ---
**Author:** ![Algorithm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/algorithm/32/12204_2.png) [@Algorithm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algorithm)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/32 "2003-11-30T12:24:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Those who have sex, do you go nuts when you don’t get any? Yes. Please help me. ---
**Author:** ![elfje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19b73/32.png) [@elfje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfje)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/33 "2003-11-30T12:48:19Z")
no, not really. I can go months without. and besides, there’s always FingerspitzengefÜhl, nein? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/34 "2003-11-30T12:52:38Z")
When I wasn’t getting regular sex, I was whacking off – shall we say – a _fair_ amount. The lack of sex didn’t trouble me. Now that I’m back into the game, I never masturbate (I don’t feel the urge, oddly enough). Instead I, uhh, save myself for the next time I’m with someone. However, if this is a more than a week I get a _bit_\* jittery. I find it difficult to concentrate and I constantly day-dream about, well, sex. - If “bit” can be understood to mean a raging mass of hormones. ---
**Author:** ![wendyrules](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/85e7bf/32.png) [@wendyrules](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wendyrules)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/35 "2003-11-30T13:09:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cyn \* > \*\*Gimme a spoon! > > Yes, cake is a good thing… > but so is _just_ icing. \*\* Come on Cyn!!! You mean to say you need a spoon… with a mouth and two hands at the ready? LOL I’ll say no more! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sinshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Sinshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinshine)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/36 "2003-11-30T18:05:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rubystreak \* > **I think the gender stereotype on sex reverses itself in the third decade of life; I am far more interested in sex than most of the thirtysomething (and younger!) men I meet. I am shocked by this, but maybe it’s just that I now have the libido usually attributed to 17 year old boys, except that I’m a 32 year old woman.** As a 32-year-old woman trying to figure out what to do with her new libido, it is nice to know that I’m not the only one. I have been trying to pretend it’s not there, but suppression rarely works. And I am in an on-again, off-again kind of relationship, wherein when we are together, it is very good, but when we’re not, it’s increasingly horrid. And occasional sex is harder for me to deal with than celibacy cold-turkey. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/37 "2003-11-30T19:55:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Angel of the Lord \* > **Because my birth control pills just got run over on I-90 (along with my laptop and some other goods), …** Sorry to hear about that–though that’ll be a darn good story to tell in, say, ten years. “Well, there was this time my birth control pills got run over…” It’s been, well, almost three and a half years now for me, since my ex-wife and I separated. Truth be told, we weren’t having sex that often anyway. Let’s just say there were problems, and leave it at that. So I haven’t missed sex that much, seeing as how I was grateful for the intermittent times when it was there. But what was terrible was waking up alone. It took almost two years to get over it. The few times since my divorce that I’ve been dating seriously, I’ve almost hoped more that I could wake up with her, rather than go to bed with her, if you see what I mean. I wouldn’t have thought I would reach this stage, but there you are. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/38 "2003-11-30T23:07:16Z")
Maybe it’s really, really girly of me but I miss the cuddles as much, or more than, the sex (which wasn’t really all that great anyway). And the waking up with somebody part is awfully nice. I hate that my twin bed is not residing in a guest room right now, as it was going to be, but is in my own room, where I sleep alone in it. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Kobaltblu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/77aa72/32.png) [@Kobaltblu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobaltblu)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/39 "2003-11-30T23:54:55Z")
There was a time about 8 years ago, after a breakup of a serious (6 years) relationship. While I was with my former significant, I got sex pretty regularly, except in the months before we split, which told me something had gone wrong. When we did split, I went through a severe depression that I now know had started even before we parted. I was put on antidepressants, one of the early ones, and you might have heard what they do. I went through 3 years without sex at all. Not even interested. I’d been brought up in a pretty conservative household and was somewhat of a late bloomer, so it didn’t occur to me that I could go out and fix the problem myself. Masturbation wasn’t even that often either. I was seeing a therapist on a regular basis, and one time, when he wasn’t available but wanted to have me see someone, I met with a handsome, stylish african-american man who reeled back in shock when I revealed I’d been celibate for nearly 2 years. Of all the things we talked about, that was the part he was most interested in. I only mentioned his looks because later on I thought how I could have been interested in him, but wasn’t. The thing I should mention is that, being a gay man, everyone I knew, including straight guys and girls, thought I should have been going out and getting it on every night, if not for just simple satisfaction on a therapy. The mere idea that a gay man who looked fairly cute but was sitting at home mourning the breakup with a partner instead of clubbing it up was appalling! It’s that whole stereotypes thing. I never knew how pervasive it was until then. Since then, things have changed quite a bit. If I go without sex for over a week, I get a bit snappish. My partner has commented on it, and teases me with “Awww, does baby need a blowjob?” to which I’ll spritz my iced tea all over the dining table. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790/40 "2003-12-01T00:22:36Z")
I haven’t had any sex in a couple of weeks and I’m going crazy. I hate going without sex. My body goes into ‘I must get laid’ mode and it refuses to come out of it. Since I just split up with the SO, I’m nearing insanity soon. Somebody help me! Oh btw, I don’t think that going crazy over lack of sex is a ‘guy thing’ because I’m female. And masturbation, while free and fun, does do the job. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/those-who-have-sex-do-you-go-nuts-when-you-dont-get-any/215790.md?page=3)