# Thou Shalt Not Iron While Naked **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 18, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042 "2004-03-18T16:29:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Composer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/898d66/32.png) [@The\_Composer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Composer)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/1 "2004-03-18T16:29:51Z")
As is usual for my morning routine, I groggily walked into the laundry room and set up the ironing board, turned on the iron, and waited for it to heat up- all of this while nude. When the alert on the iron sounded to let me know it was ready, I started ironing my shirt. Since I’m above average in the penis length department (and more of a shower than a grower), I tend to hang a little low. Let me tell you, fellow men, that there are times when above average size is BAD. Unfortunately, I came a little too close to the edge of the ironing board and seared a very sensitive part of my anatomy. I spent the next 10-15 minutes trying to cool the burn and ease the pain caused by a much too close encounter with an iron. Even now as I type this post there is painful throbbing. Oy. Please, gentlemen, learn from my mistake. DO NOT IRON IN THE NUDE! ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/2 "2004-03-18T16:37:44Z")
Owie. Another one along those same lines – I won’t go into it, but lemme tell you: Don’t operate a wheat thresher in the nude. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/3 "2004-03-18T17:08:01Z")
Somebody (and I suppose it’ll be me) should point out that ironing in the nude is less stupid than ironing the clothes while you’re still wearing them. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/4 "2004-03-18T17:11:32Z")
Male or female, that shot o’steam is decidedly unpleasant… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/5 "2004-03-18T17:13:47Z")
Good point, **Jenaroph**. My sister tried to iron a pair of shorts while she was wearing them once. Boy did that leave a mark. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/6 "2004-03-18T17:16:12Z")
Wait until the Doperettes get wind of a “low hanger” who irons. Guys like us are a catch! ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/7 "2004-03-18T17:59:37Z")
Are you kidding? I have DREAMS about nakkid guys ironing…of course, the iron isn’t actually turned on. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Toddly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/22d042/32.png) [@Toddly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toddly)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/8 "2004-03-18T18:01:55Z")
Get some aloe vera on it, that stuff works wonders.I’m kind of hurting just reading about it. I would also advise you not to work with hot oil/grease or boiling water while nude. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/9 "2004-03-18T18:02:34Z")
Yeah, right. And vacuum cleaner wounds are caused by cleaning your rugs while in the nude. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/10 "2004-03-18T18:06:38Z")
> [@Toddly](#): > > Get some aloe vera on it, that stuff works wonders.I’m kind of hurting just reading about it. I would also advise you not to work with hot oil/grease or boiling water while nude. Agreed. If you’re cooking bacon for breakfast, wear a robe. You’ll thank me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/11 "2004-03-18T18:07:22Z")
People say you should never cook bacon in the nude. You know what? They’re right. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/12 "2004-03-18T18:11:42Z")
> [@Toddly](#): > > Get some aloe vera on it… I’m sorry, I have to point out that this is wrong. The only way to ease the pain from a burn is to remove the heat. Use ice or cold water. Aloe or any lotion serves to insulate the burn and allows more tissue damage. Once the “heat” has been taken out of the burn, you can use aloe to help with the healing, but until then, only ice or cold water. - _Dante, who paid attention in his CPR course_ ---
**Author:** ![Call\_me\_Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Call\_me\_Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Call_me_Frank)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/13 "2004-03-18T18:16:16Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Yeah, right. And vacuum cleaner wounds are caused by cleaning your rugs while in the nude. It was a million to one shot, Doc, a million to one… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/14 "2004-03-18T18:24:54Z")
I think it’s supposed to be wrinkled. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Composer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/898d66/32.png) [@The\_Composer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Composer)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/15 "2004-03-18T19:12:07Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Yeah, right. And vacuum cleaner wounds are caused by cleaning your rugs while in the nude. Heh. Not to brag, but I wouldn’t fit in a vacuum cleaner hose. Anyway, the soreness is mostly gone, now. Although, it was uncomfortable to walk around at work this morning. The burn site is not very asthetic, though. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/16 "2004-03-18T19:12:37Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > I think it’s supposed to be wrinkled. ba-dum-bump. (I actually started choking when I read this, trying not to spew water all over the place!) ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/17 "2004-03-18T19:26:37Z")
Thanks, guys. I’ll be sitting cross-legged for the rest of the day. Empathic people \*really \* shouldn’t read threads like this. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/18 "2004-03-18T19:27:30Z")
> [@The Composer](#): > > \< snip, snippety snip, snip, snip \> > > …Since I’m above average in the penis length department (and more of a shower than a grower), I tend to hang a little low. Let me tell you, fellow men, that there are times when above average size is BAD… > > \< more snippage \> I have never, ever done this (hehehehe), but have always wanted to. So, I can feel extremely lucky to be the first one to cry… **CITE!!!** 😃 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/19 "2004-03-18T19:32:53Z")
> [@The Composer](#): > > Heh. Not to brag, but I wouldn’t fit in a vacuum cleaner hose. Oh my! You really _are_ “above average in the penis length department”! ---
**Author:** ![Call\_me\_Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Call\_me\_Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Call_me_Frank)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042/20 "2004-03-18T19:47:16Z")
> [@Silver Fire](#): > > Oh my! You really _are_ “above average in the penis length department”! I think **Silver Fire** should supply some measurements of his vacuum cleaner hose before anyone jumpes to conclusions… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thou-shalt-not-iron-while-naked/235042.md?page=2)