# Thoughts on mail order brides? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 26, 2011, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893 "2011-10-26T19:11:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![suckthesevols98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/96bed5/32.png) [@suckthesevols98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suckthesevols98)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/1 "2011-10-26T19:11:10Z")
So I buy her a plane ticket and in return have a slave? Where do I sign up? ---
**Author:** ![Arkcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Arkcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arkcon)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/2 "2011-10-26T19:36:39Z")
Ummm … no. What you’ll do is spend a ton of money, and acquire contact, for a brief time, or a longer time, with of the planet Earth’s sapient humans of the female gender – complete with ideas, hopes, dreams, motivations (forthright and ulterior in a fair mix) and … don’t forget these, opinions. While human trafficking is still a worldwide problem, if you had the talents, abilities and guts to enslave another human successfully, you wouldn’t ask a bulletin board about the viability. ---
**Author:** ![dolphinboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dolphinboy/32/330_2.png) [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/3 "2011-10-26T19:45:02Z")
This does not belong in General Questions… Mods, how about IMHO? ---
**Author:** ![code\_grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@code\_grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/code_grey)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/4 "2011-10-26T19:50:13Z")
the court that awards alimony after the wife dumps you in a no-fault fashion does not care if she was “mail order” or “over the counter at the local discotheque”. You will be screwed either way. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/5 "2011-10-26T19:54:13Z")
The wonderful, wonderful thing about this country is that once you get here after a while you realize how little people care. No one gossips at a divorce, your neighbors don’t care if you ditch your son-of-a-bitch husband (they’ll probably congratulate you!), your next husband doesn’t really find divorce important (so much as the reasons why). So you will get abandoned toot-sweet once she realizes there is no obligation here to stay with a less-than-stellar person. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/6 "2011-10-26T20:38:57Z")
You get married then her two brothers show up and decide they’re going to live with you too. None of them work so you’re supporting all of them. They just sleep all day then stay up all night drinking and smoking and talk loudly non-stop in their native tongue that you don’t understand. ---
**Author:** ![Al\_Bundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@Al\_Bundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al_Bundy)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/7 "2011-10-26T20:40:36Z")
My neighbor who was 50 at the time and a devout Catholic dedicated to spreading his seed in a morally acceptable manner, met a Russian woman who was 33 and eager to get out of her grandparent’s apartment. They communicated many times by Internet. Then he made a test trip over there to vacation. He eventually imported her and got the paperwork completed so she could visit here. He married her. They have been happily married for several years with two beautiful children. This can work if the mutual ends and dependencies of the parties are complimentary. Also helps if the stars are aligned. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/8 "2011-10-26T20:44:32Z")
make sure they put breathing holes in teh box and mark it “fragile, do not mutilate” - cause you don’t want to open the box if they don’t - trust me… ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/9 "2011-10-26T21:22:09Z")
> [@](#): > > The wonderful, wonderful thing about this country is that once you get here after a while you realize how little people care. No one gossips at a divorce, your neighbors don’t care if you ditch your son-of-a-bitch husband (they’ll probably congratulate you!), your next husband doesn’t really find divorce important (so much as the reasons why). Especially since the primary thing she’s looking to get out of the arrangement is to get to the US and get American citizenship, and once she has that, she doesn’t need you any more. If you give her any grounds for divorce at all, she’s likely to take them, and consider it a best-case scenario. ---
**Author:** ![md2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@md2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md2000)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/10 "2011-10-26T21:31:54Z")
Women looking for mail-order connubial bliss have many different motivations, from honest to cynical, from a better life to a free green card and passport; just like many men have variety of motivatoins, from weariness or shyness with the current “scene” to a desire for someone submisive and the misapprehension they are getting, as [fredoneverything.com](http://fredoneverything.com) calls it, an LBFM. (Little Brown F Machine) You pays your money and you takes your chance. This is what happens when you connect without really knowing the partner, no different than over-the-counter at the local disco. ---
**Author:** ![UncleFred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f0a364/32.png) [@UncleFred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleFred)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/11 "2011-10-26T21:40:42Z")
Well, 60 miutes (I think it was) had some followup on mail-order brides from Russia. One was escorted over here by her (male) ‘friend’ who she proceeded to run off with after a short time. The other stories were similar. ---
**Author:** ![md2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@md2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md2000)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/12 "2011-10-26T22:18:26Z")
> [@UncleFred](#): > > Well, 60 miutes (I think it was) had some followup on mail-order brides from Russia. One was escorted over here by her (male) ‘friend’ who she proceeded to run off with after a short time. The other stories were similar. Like a lot of other “opportunities”, I suspect that the underworld has infiltrated that business in Russia too. I read something a while ago that suggested that in the 90’s, when things were very desperate in Russia, the “matchmaker” businesses were making thousands of dollars for introductions. No crook is going to miss that opportunity for money and green cards if Russia truly lives up to its reputation for organized crime. Take some sucker for $10,000 or more, then pass off the woman to a partner in the US to continue selling her services. If she knows what’s good for her, she’ll go along; she has relatives in Russia. The Russian Mafia has a reputation for being persuasive. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2011, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/13 "2011-10-26T22:36:15Z")
Seeing no General Question here, let’s move to MPSIMS. **samclem** , Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Dahnlor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dahnlor/32/533_2.png) [@Dahnlor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dahnlor)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/14 "2011-10-27T03:15:21Z")
Mine is due to arrive next February. “Mail-Order Bride” is a very inaccurate term, though, not to mention a little disparaging. That said, it’s an effective way to grab attention for a discussion on the topic. My fiancee is from Ukraine, and my focus was primarily on the former Soviet Union when I decided to take the plunge. Colombia and the Philippines are also very popular, but I don’t know much about how they differ from Russia. My search actually started here on the Dope. I think every thread on the topic has a link to this classic thread (and now, this one too!): [Mail order bride & sour honey](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=212249&highlight=mail+order+bride) The Dope search led me to this site, which is useful but a little outdated: > **[Russian Brides Cyber Guide - a Russian Woman about Russian Women](http://www.womenrussia.com/)** > > Russian Brides Cyber Guide is the first website about Russian women, created by a Russian woman. Learn about Russian girls for marriage, Russian dating agencies, honest Russian women and dating scams The most informative sites I found are these two: > **[Russian, Ukrainian & Eastern European Discussion, Travel &...](https://ruadventures.com/)** > > Russian, Ukrainian & FSU Information & Manosphere Discussion Forums > **[Russian Women Discussion](http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/)** > > Russian Women Discussion Forum The biggest misconception about Russian women seeking Western men is that they are looking for an escape from poverty. It’s true that there is more poverty in the former Soviet Union than the United States, but not by as much as you might think. Most of these women would prefer to stay in their home country if they could find a man they could marry there. Instead, most women will tell you that the problem is with Russian men. Alcoholism is very widespread, and they also tend to be less respectful of women, and infidelity is also rampant. Russian men also tend to die earlier, so there aren’t as many to compete for. In comparison, Western men are perceived as being more respectful and faithful to their wives, as well as being more family oriented. These were my fiancee’s primary motivations, and she knew several other women who were happily married to Westerners. The initial experience isn’t really much different than online dating. However, there are _lots_ of pitfalls. First are the flashy pay-per-letter sites. Anastasia Date is probably the worst offender, but there are many, many others with the same scam. There are more reputable sites (I used Elena’s Models) which charge per contact and/or use memberships with a certain number of contacts, and a lot of people use regular sites like [Match.com](http://Match.com). Once you’ve met a nice girl online, you’ll need to meet them in person as soon as possible. Otherwise, you become vulnerable to the notorious “Fat Yuri” scam. This is where it gets expensive. A lot of guys advocate meeting as many different women as possible for each trip, just so that you get the most “opportunities” for the $2000-$4000 you’ll be spending. More than you’ll ever want to know about the subject can be found on the forums linked above. And, no, you can’t just buy her a ticket and have her come over. You need to go there. There are rare exceptions, but if you’ve been communicating with a girl online who tells you she can come over if you send her money for the ticket, don’t expect her to be coming over if you send the money. Even if you’re lucky and she does come over, she’ll need to go back before she can come to stay. In the end, though, if you manage to bring a girl here before you’re completely cleaned out, you’ll end up with a wife, not a slave. And then, if she decides she doesn’t like you anymore, she just might go to the police and accuse you of slavery anyway. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/15 "2011-10-27T03:35:39Z")
I’ve met a few mail-order bride relationships. Those have been very female-dominated relationships, exactly the opposite of slavery. Once they were American citizens, the women ruled the roost and not in a pleasant way. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/16 "2011-10-27T03:57:17Z")
A few years ago, I considered going the WomenRussia route, but changed my mind when I realized I’d have to spend at least $20 000 in the process, money I simply didn’t have. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/17 "2011-10-27T05:15:52Z")
> [@Dahnlor](#): > > Instead, most women will tell you that the problem is with Russian men. Alcoholism is very widespread, and they also tend to be less respectful of women The OP wants to buy a slave. How do Russian men compare poorly to that? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/18 "2011-10-27T05:33:58Z")
Sorry for this thread hijack but this is not totally off-subject and I didn’t want to start a whole new thread for it… Over the past few days I have been having this person, calling themself “Kate Williams”, telling me how she is trying to make it out of Liberia and she needs my help with getting her inheritance money out of the country. Since I can’t post links to my email directly, I’ll just copy on of the emails she’s sent… my dearest darling, I am more than happy in your reply to my mail.How are you this days? How was your night hope fine.?. Mine is a little bit cold over here in Dakar at this time in Senegal. In this camp we are only allowed to go out from the camp only on Monday’s and Friday’s of the weeks.Its just like one staying in the prison and i hope by Gods grace i will come out here soon.We don’t have any relatives now whom we can go to all our relatives ran away in the middle of the war the only person we have now is Rev. Dickson ,who is the pastor of the (Christ for all Churches) here in the camp he has been very nice to me since i came here but i am not living with him rather i am leaving in the women hostel because the camp have two hostels one for men the other for women, The Pastors Tel number is (+221772511444) if you call and tell him that you want to speak with me he will send for me in the woman hostel. As a refugee here i don’t have any right or privilege to any thing be it money or whatever because it is against the law of this Muslim country.I want to go back to my studies because i only attended my first year before the tragic incident that lead to my being in this situation now took place. Please listen to this, i have my late father’s deposit certificate and death certificate here with me which i will send to you later,because when he was alive he deposited some amount of money in a leading financial institution in England which he used my name as the next of kin,the amount in question is $5.750,000,00 (Five Million Seven Hundred and fifty-thousand Us Dollars). So i will like you to help me transfer this money to your account and from it you can send some money for me to get my traveling documents and air ticket to come over to meet with you.I kept this secret to people in the camp here the only person that knows about it is the Reverend because he is like a father to me. So in the light of above i will like you to keep it to yourself and don’t tell it to anyone for i am afraid of loosing my life and the money if people gets to know about it. I like honest and understanding people,truthful and a man of vision, trustworthy and hardworking.My favorite language is English but our language is french but i speak English very fluently.Meanwhile i will like you to call me like i said i have a lot to tell you. Have a nice day and think about me.Awaiting to hear from you soonest Yours in love Kate… Um, yeaaah. ETA: when I asked her how she got my email address, she posted a link to here, SDMB. ? ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/19 "2011-10-27T05:34:10Z")
Yeah …this is going to work out fabulously.:rolleyes::dubious::smack: ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893/20 "2011-10-27T05:43:49Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Sorry for this thread hijack but this is not totally off-subject and I didn’t want to start a whole new thread for it… > > Over the past few days I have been having this person, calling themself “Kate Williams”, telling me how she is trying to make it out of Liberia and she needs my help with getting her inheritance money out of the country. Since I can’t post links to my email directly, I’ll just copy on of the emails she’s sent… > > my dearest darling, > I am more than happy in your reply to my mail.How are you this days? How was your night hope fine.?. Mine is a little bit cold over here in Dakar at this time in Senegal. In this camp we are only allowed to go out from the camp only on Monday’s and Friday’s of the weeks.Its just like one staying in the prison and i hope by Gods grace i will come out here soon.We don’t have any relatives now whom we can go to all our relatives ran > away in the middle of the war the only person we have now is Rev. Dickson ,who is the pastor of the (Christ for all Churches) here in the camp he has been very nice to me since i came here but i am not living with him rather i am leaving in the women hostel because the camp have two hostels one for men the other for women, > > The Pastors Tel number is (+221772511444) if you call and tell him that you want to speak with me he will send for me in the woman hostel. As a refugee here i don’t have any right or privilege to any thing be it money or whatever because it is against the law of this Muslim country.I want to go back to my studies because i only attended my first year before the tragic incident that lead to my being in this situation now took place. Please listen to this, i have my late father’s deposit certificate and death certificate here with me which i will send to you later,because when he was > alive he deposited some amount of money in a leading financial institution in England which he used my name as the next of kin,the amount in question is $5.750,000,00 (Five Million Seven Hundred and fifty-thousand Us Dollars). > > So i will like you to help me transfer this money to your account and from it you can send some money for me to get my traveling documents and air ticket to come over to meet with you.I kept this secret to people in the camp here the only person that knows about it is the Reverend because he is like a father to me. So in the light of above i will like you to keep it to yourself and don’t tell it to anyone for i am afraid of loosing my life and the money if people gets to know about it. > > I like honest and understanding people,truthful and a man of vision, trustworthy and hardworking.My favorite language is English but our language is french but i speak English very fluently.Meanwhile i will like you to call me like i said i have a lot to > tell you. Have a nice day and think about me.Awaiting to hear from you soonest Yours in love Kate… > Um, yeaaah. > ETA: when I asked her how she got my email address, she posted a link to here, SDMB. ? Hmm, sounds like you just hit the jackpot. I say: “Go for it.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thoughts-on-mail-order-brides/600893.md?page=2)