# Thread killers

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [April 30, 2000, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577 "2000-04-30T03:34:53Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\
**Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/1 "2000-04-30T03:34:53Z")

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They’ll be easier to spot – with the new “last poster” feature.

Um, will somebody be sure to respond to this. Please?

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**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\
**Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/2 "2000-04-30T03:38:24Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Um, will somebody be sure to respond to this. Please?

OK, Auntie, I’m in the hot seat (cold seat?) now.

At least the view count lets you know if your final pearl was seen by anyone.

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**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\
**Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/3 "2000-04-30T03:45:53Z")

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Ha ha ha - I thought the same thing, AuntiePam!

I don’t like being the last person to post in a thread, and it seems to happen to me a lot. Now we’ll know for sure, won’t we?

(And I **hate** the # of views thing. It doesn’t make me feel the least bit better to know 500 people saw what I posted but didn’t reply.)

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**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\
**Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/4 "2000-04-30T03:54:01Z")

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I’ll get you off the hook, Shayna–I don’t mind being the last poster. I figure it means my comments were so insightful that nobody else sees the need to expand on them.

Likewise with people who read my threads but don’t post–I figure they’re just admiring my wit and clear thinking.

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**Author:** ![Doug\_Bowe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df788c/32.png) [@Doug\_Bowe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_Bowe)\
**Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/5 "2000-04-30T06:30:56Z")

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Thank you, MysterEcks. That’s a positive way to look at it.  
I’m glad someone else is wondering about it, too!

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**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\
**Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/6 "2000-04-30T10:40:29Z")

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I reckon we will get an new type of board pest, the one that wants to be the most last poster or something like it but in proper English like wot I have not got.

Such a pest must have a designated noun, suggestions please.

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**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\
**Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/7 "2000-04-30T16:36:33Z")

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\>\>\>casdave wrote: “Such a pest must have a designated noun, suggestions please.”\<\<\<

Alright…let’s take “most last poster” and turn it into “moloster” (mo-lo-ster). This not only sounds suitably insulting, it gives us the opportunity to rhyme with other words:

There was an annoying moloster  
Who always had to be the last poster  
But he wasn’t too bright  
So early one night  
He electrocuted himself with his toaster

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**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\
**Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/8 "2000-04-30T16:44:34Z")

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Well thanks a lot there, MysterEcks. Do you know that when I choke on my coffee, sometimes it sets off this series of spasms in my throat that make hard to breathe?  
I think I may have to put you on my “Do not read” list. 😃  
Peace,  
mangeorge

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**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\
**Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/9 "2000-04-30T18:39:35Z")

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Okay, I guess I’ll find out if I’m a thread killer…

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**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\
**Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/10 "2000-04-30T18:46:35Z")

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Check the sig…You see, it **can** be done for fun and profit.

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**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\
**Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/11 "2000-04-30T19:59:32Z")

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\>\>\>mangeorge said: “Well thanks a lot there, MysterEcks. Do you know that when I choke on my coffee, sometimes it sets off this series of spasms in my throat that make hard to breathe?”\<\<\<

No, thank YOU, mangeorge. It’s always nice to get a positive reaction.

\>\>\>“I think I may have to put you on my “Do not read” list.”\<\<\<

Put me on your “do not read with full mouth” list.

A true story…I once got a friend so good she spit a mouthfull of water, wet her pants, and fell down on the floor and laughed for five minutes. Very gratifying…except she was looking right at me when she spit.

(Jeez…I have the last post again…people are gonna think I’m a moloster…somebody else say something…)

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**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\
**Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/12 "2000-04-30T20:29:04Z")

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So is it a deal then? - board moloster.

There should be some rules for describing a person thus, after all there will probably be those who have the last post but are not trying to get themslves noticed in such a negative way.

I propose that only completely meaningless last posters should be considered.

Any other criteria folks?

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**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\
**Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/13 "2000-04-30T22:38:42Z")

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I’m the last to post in this thread.  
I hope that I don’t kill it dead.  
Then I’d be a moloster–  
That sad sort of poster,  
And my face would surely turn red! :o

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**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\
**Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/14 "2000-05-01T00:05:54Z")

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Green Bean bet you’re glad it’s not true,  
That the last stupid poster was you,  
I know I’m not supposed ter,  
Be that wicked moloster,  
But if it is then I’m sad and all blue. ☹

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**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\
**Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/15 "2000-05-01T00:10:33Z")

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I imagine that a moloster is not just anyone who is a last poster, but someone who conspicuously sets out to be last poster on many (most/all) threads.

This can be recognized by seeing their name run down the list on the main page. When you look at their comments, they mostly consist of “Here,here”, “I agree”, “Just getting the last word here.” Etc. A meaningless final post for the express purpose of being last poster. Usually needs to be more than one thread, too.

Fair set of criteria?

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**Author:** ![Louie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c68b51/32.png) [@Louie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Louie)\
**Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/16 "2000-05-01T00:16:31Z")

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Nah, it’s going to be me who’s going to kill this one.

Going to check if he really is a thread “moloster”,  
Louie

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**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\
**Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/17 "2000-05-01T01:36:32Z")

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A moloster I don’t mean to be.  
To 3 threads I replied, you see.  
But that was hours ago,  
And I realized, oh no!  
That I’m still last on 2 of the 3!

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**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\
**Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/18 "2000-05-01T02:50:04Z")

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I haven’t wanted to post to this, since I have apparently managed to kill quite a few threads inadvertently. But, what the hey. I read this and was laughing so hard at the cute poems I decided to post and take a shot. I do however hope that no one will consider me a ‘board moloster’. I really love that term, btw, MysterEcks. Irishman, I like your criteria, it works for me.

Now, here’s hoping that I didn’t kill this thread, and am accidentally labeled a ‘moloster’. That would make purplebear a very bluebear. ☹

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**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\
**Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/19 "2000-05-01T03:00:16Z")

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Don’t worry, purplebear. You’re off the hook now. However, I have something of a kiss of death when it comes to threads… When Satan started the thread asking about our first posts, and I went and found my SDMB deflowering experience, lo and behold, it was the last post in the thread. I also killed off the highly successful Athena and Byzantine pillow fight thread, until somebody revived it. I highly suspect that you’ll be seeing my name a lot in that column.

I do kinda like the “views” feature, though. I don’t have to sit around waiting for a reply to know that somebody saw that absolutely brilliant witticism I just made. Of course, I still have to wait for a reply before I know whether or not it went over like a lead balloon, but still…

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**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\
**Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577/20 "2000-05-01T03:19:07Z")

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Ooh! It’s gettin’ dicey now, 239 views and only 19 posts.

I think Irishman’s got a point, though, a moloster would have to be a serial thread killer.

C’mon, there’s room for one more…

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thread-killers/17577.md?page=2)