# Threadfight!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 24, 2003, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915 "2003-06-24T01:47:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/81 "2003-06-24T16:54:21Z")
[celestina sees snakes and alligators crawling on the floor and jumps up on the bar counter faster than you can say: “Snakes! Run for your life!”] What are all these _reptiles_ doing in here? [shudder] Someone call animal control please. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*_Strolls in and sets cases of darts, pool cue and Flat Tire on the unlevel bar_ > > Well I’ll be… ain’t never seen a three man Indian leg wrestle before. Flip you girls for the break? \*\* **lieu** , um, hon, don’t you mean “Fat Tire?” If that’s some of that good beer I can’t never find nowheres, may I have a bottle of it since the bartender seems disinclined to serve anyone here some _decent_ alcohol? Now, y’all watch what you’re doin’ with them darts. Aim them at _the pictures_, folks, not the patrons, _the pictures_. **wring** , what’s this about some baked brie? They can’t serve me some single malt Scotch, but they got baked brie up in here? :mad: What kind of establishment is this anyway? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/82 "2003-06-24T17:09:56Z")
Damn, and that wasn’t even a typo. Sure celestina, you can have the rest of this one and I’ll get me a fresh one. Anybody seen the Lysol? These stools smell like ass. ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/83 "2003-06-24T17:38:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Airman Doors, USAF \* > \*\*\*\*Jaade won’t be ablr to do anything after I slip her a mickey. > > And as for you, be careful or I’ll shave your back to match your head. \*\* A mickey? That’s the best you can do? I had 3 of those for breakfast… ~checks around for \*\*Scylla’s[b/] wife~ **Scylla** , how YOU doin’? 😉 ~Pours herself a shot of Watermelon Pucker~ ~J ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/84 "2003-06-24T17:58:18Z")
but it isn’t _good_ baked brie - they use that cheapo cheese, and burn the crust and everything. I think it’s that conservative bent they have. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/85 "2003-06-24T18:29:20Z")
**Spiff** just because I spend some time in California doesn’t make me a dammned yank, you know. “What about that G&T barsteward?” ---
**Author:** ![cabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@cabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cabbit)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/86 "2003-06-24T19:42:16Z")
Hmph. I had heard that the annual meeting of the **P** rancing **R** adicchio and **A** rugula **T** asting **S** ociety was going to take place here. Looks like the rumours were true. _gets out her sharpie and doodles a mustache on Tricky Dicks picture_ ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/87 "2003-06-24T20:20:15Z")
Hey, is this where I can release my pent-up rage at my parents… especially my father? :mad: If so… _starts brandishing a pool cue around dangerously, while raining a torrent of invenctive down on everyone present_ F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/88 "2003-06-24T22:46:11Z")
Hey you kids keep it down! We’re trying to watch Oprah up her on the TV in the parlor! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/89 "2003-06-25T00:31:40Z")
Hey, fellows. There’s no need for this sort of violence. I’m sure if we sit down and discuss things intelligently, we can iron out all our differences without anyone getting hurt. Wouldn’t that be fantastic? Tell ya what, I’ve got a Boggle set out in the car. Why don’t I run out and get it, and we can all have a rousing, non-violent good time. Uh… I can’t go get my Boggle set with you guys blocking the door… Hey! No need to grab me so hard! That kinda hurt… Um, what’s with the pliers, guys? What are you doing? Hey, those are my toes… Hey… HEY! ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/90 "2003-06-25T02:04:43Z")
No Iron City? Hmph. Might’ve expected as much in a joint where all the pictures on the wall are of men. Jesus. Guess I’ll just have a Bud. _strokes tribble absentmindedly_ ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/91 "2003-06-25T02:21:56Z")
::Walks in:: Oh great! I’m off at work all day and you clowns are still here trashing the place. Elucidator! Stop molesting that cat! Airman! You clean up that vomit right now. I know it’s yours ya lightweight. Et tu Wring! I thought you were above these shenanigans! I thought this was a _moderated_ message board. Oh great I see Gary Kumquat’s here. Just what we need, a soccer hooligan. 'prolly kick all our asses. No gay guys though. I was hoping gobear would show up and teach you guys the meaning of tough. Oh well. ::Breaks beer bottle on Bippy’s head.::: What kind of name is Bippy? What the hell you doing in a tough place like this? Jaade? Is that your bra in the ceiling fan or Wring’s? ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/92 "2003-06-25T03:25:12Z")
Errr… excuse me sir, can I use the bathroom? ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/93 "2003-06-25T03:35:41Z")
Bra? ~walks away whispering to herself~ Did I wear a bra?? ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/94 "2003-06-25T03:41:50Z")
Um, bad idea, **Ale**. I think I saw Sheba heading in there. Come to think of it, if she drinks out of that john, I’ll never explain it to the boss! Just what I need, drunk 'gator. (zoogirl hurries off in search of the loose lizard, pausing for a moment to grab a rattler and whip it in the direction of the fan. It snags the bra on it’s fangs and zoogirl hands the underwear to Jaade.) ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/95 "2003-06-25T03:49:44Z")
Is this yours, Zoogirl? _Points to alligator with it´s mouth half way up my leg_ ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/96 "2003-06-25T03:58:30Z")
Sheba! BAD girl!! Hey guys, anyone got a crowbar? (Jeez, don’t chip a tooth or I’ll get fired for sure!) Sorry, bout that **Ale**. Here, try pouring a bit of this Canuck beer down the hatch. No **Ale** , HER’S, not yours! ---
**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/97 "2003-06-25T06:09:47Z")
Hey, I heard this place had Bud and St. Pauli Girl on tap! So since I can’t stomach pisswater with corn syrup and salt, or the skunky swill the Germans wouldn’t drink themselves, I brought this here case of Lagunitas IPA. I’ll just set it here next to the pretzels… I’ll have some of your liquor though, if you’ve got any decent bourbon. Since you’re a wealthy capitalist pig and all, I expect top shelf though. Knob Creek at worst. Oh, mind if I log onto your computer? I just need to check my e-mail…Say is that a naked picture of Hilary Clinton on your wallpaper? Oh my! ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/98 "2003-06-25T07:51:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > **Oh great I see Gary Kumquat’s here. Just what we need, a soccer hooligan. 'prolly kick all our asses.** soccer? SOCCER? ARGGGHHHH! _::grabs nearest offensive weapon, in this case a bowl of pretzels, and starts pelting Scylla with the lightly salted snacks::_ Last time you ever accuse a rugby fan of being a soccer hooligan, god damn it. And your snacks are crap - don’t you get cheese and onion in this godless country? ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/99 "2003-06-25T09:32:49Z")
Scottish rugby? Isn’t that a contradiction in terms? Sorry, you must excuse me. I’m a little cranky as we’re running out of Southern Hemisphere teams to beat… pan ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915/100 "2003-06-25T09:40:49Z")
Man, I got here as fast as I could. Hey, where is everybody? Aw, jeez-- Look at this, another buncha sorry lightweights. YOU-- Wake up! Get off that pool table and bring me a Shiner Bock! And my god, how long has that girl been pinned to the dart board? Show some freakin’ respect! What if I wanna play? Nice party :rolleyes:. What is this bar made out of, anyways, masonite? Look, I can kick a hole right through that shit. See? And there’s another one! Guess I’ll just help my self, then. Hey, 17-year-old single-malt? I heard that stuff is good, with a chaser. Ah, here we go, “Billy Beer”? Whatever. Whaddya mean I wasn’t invited? I got my invitation right here! Wanna see? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadfight/183915.md?page=6)