# Threadkillers 2001! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 1, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015 "2001-01-01T21:16:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/1 "2001-01-01T21:16:08Z")
It’s time. Time for all Dopers to show their mettle, and do battle with the gigantic, horrific, evil-SOB-mother of all threads. This here, for you newcomers, is a contest. Or, as we in the biz call it, a “thingie where people compete against other people n’stuff.” The object? Kill the thread. It’s that simple. What defines “killing?” You have to have the last post on the thread for a period of at least 24 hours. If somebody else posts within that time, you have to try again, by posting again. Other than that, there are no rules. Be the last poster, and earn the respect, fear, and kudos of your fellow contestants. Last year it was **particlewill**. He is now forever enshrined in the Threadkillers Hall of Glory. Who will be the **Super-Mega-Threadkiller-o-Doom 2001**? Who knows. It may just be you. \ Let’s get it on. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/2 "2001-01-01T21:20:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > \*\*Let’s get it on. \*\* Get it on?? I can’t get it off! ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/3 "2001-01-01T21:20:42Z")
Oooh… sporks. All I’ve got is a case of duct tape, some grenadine and a box of Trojans. ---
**Author:** ![Fatwater\_Fewl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4491bb/32.png) [@Fatwater\_Fewl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fatwater_Fewl)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/4 "2001-01-01T21:27:26Z")
I’ve just got the duct tape. It doesn’t allow the same range of sensation as the trojans… ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/5 "2001-01-01T21:28:56Z")
Of course, duct tape has its advantages. It’s hard to tie somebody up with a condom. Unless you try very very hard. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/6 "2001-01-01T21:44:37Z")
If duct tape can’t fix it, it’s beyond help. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/7 "2001-01-01T21:49:29Z")
Nah, sometimes you need a tire iron. Tie-er Eye-errrrn. Tar arn. T’arn. Tar Eye-ern. Dammit. I can’t say “tire iron.” ---
**Author:** ![DigitalMuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecccb3/32.png) [@DigitalMuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalMuse)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/8 "2001-01-01T21:51:04Z")
The purple polka dotted zebras will get you first. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/9 "2001-01-01T21:51:39Z")
yeah, but what are you going to use to put it back together when you break it with that tire-iron. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/10 "2001-01-01T21:54:10Z")
Model glue. The kind that smells like oranges and gets you high. ---
**Author:** ![Fatwater\_Fewl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4491bb/32.png) [@Fatwater\_Fewl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fatwater_Fewl)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/11 "2001-01-01T21:58:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by racinchikki \* > \*\*Nah, sometimes you need a tire iron. > > Tie-er Eye-errrrn. > > Tar arn. > > T’arn. > > Tar Eye-ern. > > Dammit. > > I can’t say “tire iron.” \*\* The proper pronunciation of tire iron is found in the following: Tie her on the roof rack with duct tape for a shroud. ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/12 "2001-01-01T21:59:10Z")
The next person to post shall be cursed by a thousand un-housebroken llamas who eat glue. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/13 "2001-01-01T21:59:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus55 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > > \*\*Let’s get it on. \*\* > > Get it on?? I can’t get it off! \*\* Gettin’ it off is easy, you just need some lubrication. Lube it up real good, pull on it a few times and it will go off in no time. Practice it often, practice makes perfect. ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/14 "2001-01-01T22:03:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by imthjckaz \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus55 \* > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > > > \*\*Let’s get it on. \*\* > > > > Get it on?? I can’t get it off! \*\* > > Gettin’ it off is easy, you just need some lubrication. > Lube it up real good, pull on it a few times and it will go off in no time. > Practice it often, practice makes perfect. \*\* oooh! Now you did it! ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/15 "2001-01-01T22:12:23Z")
Well some of us don’t need practice, we just put it on like it was nothing. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/16 "2001-01-01T22:18:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Odieman \* > \*\*Well some of us don’t need practice, we just put it on like it was nothing. \*\* That all depends what the definition of it, is. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/17 "2001-01-01T22:24:17Z")
Actually, nothing fits rather well, it’s something that might be a pain. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/18 "2001-01-01T22:27:37Z")
And sometimes something is nothing or next to nothing too. ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/19 "2001-01-01T22:33:34Z")
Something next to nothing…is nothing. It’s just a fantasy. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/20 "2001-01-01T22:35:52Z")
But sometimes fantasies are good. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015.md?page=2)