# Threadkillers 2001! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 1, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015 "2001-01-01T21:16:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/201 "2001-01-03T02:43:53Z")
Returns with the threadpup on a leash. Ok guys I finally found the manual for this damn beast. It seems he only grows weak when taunted with bad words and attempted murder and such. When people LOVE him, he just grows cuter and fluffier and evil-er. Yes that’s his plan, he becomes so fucking cute, no one can stand to off him. Are we going to let him get away with this? :puts gun in puppies mouth, he licks my hand: (nod to Aha–how ya like this?) ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/202 "2001-01-03T02:45:05Z")
Poop. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/203 "2001-01-03T02:45:57Z")
STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!! WE WILL NOT HARM ANY ANIMALS IN THIS THREAD…CAPICE!!! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/204 "2001-01-03T02:50:38Z")
Pup senses the evilness of this gesture and turns into A one eyed wonder worm, with a vague resemblence to a former poster who will not be named. Ok, Now do you want to try to kill it??? ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/205 "2001-01-03T03:23:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > I feel sad that **Tymp** has not yet come to this thread, broadsword in hand, to aid me in valiant struggle, but it appears it is up to me. Nay, good **Jester**! Do not doubt this Thread Killer’s honor or determination to aid his brethren whenever need should arise! After all, this broad sword, the finest in my armory, is a gift from you. This fine blade and the sturdy arm that wields it are forever at your service, good and mighty Thread Killer. ‘Tis good to stand steeled for battle once more with my finest warrior companions at my side. Show me this new, insolent thread that would dare rise up, even in the presence of, and under threat from the finest, noblest band of assassins this message board has seen. We will show the evil beast that it, like its ancestors and all of its kind will not long be tolerated on this earth! For glory, honor, and ironclad genitals, _to war!_ ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/206 "2001-01-03T03:40:19Z")
Look into [his face](http://www.mrwinkle.com/index1.htm) if you dare. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/207 "2001-01-03T03:57:03Z")
God that was disturbing Mermaid.:shudder: must scrub eyes out ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/208 "2001-01-03T03:59:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > \*\*Look into [his face](http://www.mrwinkle.com/index1.htm) if you dare. \*\* :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/209 "2001-01-03T07:11:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > \*\*Look into [his face](http://www.mrwinkle.com/index1.htm) if you dare. \*\* Well, I only have one thing to say to that… AAH!! That’s some freaky stuff! ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/210 "2001-01-03T09:58:21Z")
I’m at work…I’m ignoring mermaid’s link just in case 😉 But…the return of Tymp has reminded me…I too received an award from the last thread battle… Fierra goes to magic, snow storing fridge, steps to the side and opens door…small avalanche of snow sweeps out and buries cute, puppy-like thread… There, lets see if that will hold him! Damn! (puppy shakes head & starts to play with the snow) OK, any more ideas? Tymp, I brought some three-in-one oil for your armour this time… ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/211 "2001-01-03T13:23:38Z")
Aha! Jester I accept your duel! Alas, you have a mighty, shiny spork and all I have is the “Plastic Spoon of Thwapping!” (in a pinch I’ll use it to hurl great big ugly spitballs at an unblindingly slow lob towards your general direction) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/212 "2001-01-03T14:01:11Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Cobravert \* \*\* > [@](#): > > Sure, if i can wear super-hero tights laden with a ripe cucumber…and say cool thinks like “This spork flies true for justice!” > > \*\* ``` That's disgusting!!!!! ``` …you’d have thought he’d put the cucumber in FRONT, not in BACK… ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/213 "2001-01-03T14:09:45Z")
Morning, all. I’ve done a little reconnaissance on the beast’s hindquarters. Unless it’s absolutely necessary, I’m not gonna be going down the alimentary canal of THIS thing. Just seeing the spot I’d come out has disgusted me beyond words. ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/214 "2001-01-03T14:15:46Z")
Then why did you put the goose grease on, Sauron? ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/215 "2001-01-03T14:26:49Z")
Sometimes fierra, you don’t want to ask questions unless you really want to know the answers, I suspect this is one of those questions that may best be left unanswered. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/216 "2001-01-03T14:29:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fierra \* > \*\*Then why did you put the goose grease on, Sauron? \*\* I kinda like it, actually. Makes me feel all warm and squooshy. Plus chicks dig it. Nothing like the vision of a pale, slightly flabby man lathered up in goose grease to get them all excited. ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/217 "2001-01-03T14:33:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fierra \* > \*\*Then why did you put the goose grease on, Sauron? \*\* Good question, fierra. I think he’s thinking of my sig. 😃 Morning all. I’m ready for today’s adventures. I have coffee in hand. I’m ready to battle–nice codpiece, btw Tymp…I especially like what you’ve done with it…the whole jewel encrusted look is very you–and I’m with Sauron and Jester on this one. I think we’re going to have to be aggressive. If you guys will take up arms, I’ll volunteer to riddle it with a storm of petty and ineffective insults. Hey! You! Thread! Yeah…you big…dummy. That’s right. You heard me! I said…um…I mean it…whatever it was I said. And…and…you are…ummmmm…very…oh, shit…I’m not good at this at all. \ There. That’ll learn ya. \ ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/218 "2001-01-03T14:53:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*struuter \* > \*\*\ \*\* You can leave in a huff. If that’s not good enough, you can leave in a minute and a huff. ``` -Groucho, I think ``` ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/219 "2001-01-03T14:58:42Z")
\ Thanks thinks…that was supposed to make me feel better…right? Ouch… ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/220 "2001-01-03T15:12:57Z")
Sorry, dear. Here, let me help… \ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015.md?page=12)