# Threadkillers 2001! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 1, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015 "2001-01-01T21:16:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/261 "2001-01-03T20:55:43Z")
Interesting choice of songs, **Zoggie**. I don’t think there’s anybody virginal in _this_ thread. 😃 (Oh, and thanks for getting Madonna in my head…) I sense a horrible pattern forming. First Menudo, then Michael, now Madonna. Who’s next, Mariah? ::runs screaming:: ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/262 "2001-01-03T21:05:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vix \* > \*\* > I sense a horrible pattern forming. First Menudo, then Michael, now Madonna. Who’s next, Mariah? > > ::runs screaming:: \*\* Oh, now that was just uncalled-for. Why punish ourselves? How about Morrison? Van or Jim. Meat Loaf? Men Without Hats? Okay, maybe not the last one… (see how good I am at diverting attention away from embarrassing situations?) ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/263 "2001-01-03T21:14:03Z")
**Totoro** raises an interesting and troubling question. This thread is already six pages long. I believe its precursor made it to eight (?) pages before it was finally killed – and that took WEEKS. In other words, SoT is growing MUCH faster than its ancestor. Somebody’s gonna have to figure out why, and that may require an, uh, … _internal_ investigation. Why is everyone looking at me? ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/264 "2001-01-03T21:20:33Z")
Sauron…should’ve taken me up on that bath offer, sweetie. I think the grease makes you the obvious choice… Hey! Anybody have a reeeeealllly big x-ray machine? Nope? Well, I tried. ---
**Author:** ![beeblbrox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beeblbrox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beeblbrox)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/265 "2001-01-03T21:21:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by struuter \* > \*\*Hey beeblbrox. I see you over there. Anybody welcome you yet? If not, you came to the right place. > > I like your username. 😃 \*\* Thankies. 😃 _bows_ ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/266 "2001-01-03T21:22:21Z")
Well, you **are** lubricated… ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/267 "2001-01-03T21:24:21Z")
Damn! Too slow! ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/268 "2001-01-03T21:26:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vix \* > \*\*Damn! Too slow! \*\* Doesn’t matter; yours used the word ‘lubricated.’ I can’t use words like that…gets me into trouble, donchaknow. ---
**Author:** ![Kaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaz)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/269 "2001-01-03T21:29:15Z")
Oh my. Me being able to access the thread in the afternoon and evening, it seems that I have missed oh-so-much. Puppies and goose grease and now we’re putting poor **Sauron** up some thread’s bum. I mean come on, let’s think this through. We really don’t know where this thread has been. And now we just go shoving things in it’s behind? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do like the idea of hearing the nice ::quip:: of **Sauron** sliding into something’s behind…but we must consider the consequences… ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/270 "2001-01-03T21:32:25Z")
“Sign up”, they said. “Kill a few threads”, they said. “It’s easy”, they said. Easy my butt. Now I’m friggin’ glued to the damn computer all day and I haven’t done any work at all. Thank God my boss is off until Monday or if not this little fiasco could cost me my job. [sub]Did I win yet?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Erika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/47e85d/32.png) [@Erika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erika)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/271 "2001-01-03T21:47:11Z")
Well, of course you don’t win yet. Don’t be silly. Or, well, DO be silly, but not in that particular fashion. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/272 "2001-01-03T21:48:23Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by vix \* \*\*I don’t think there’s anybody virginal in _this_ thread. 😃 [QUOTE] On the contrary, I have vowed to live my life chaste so that my purpose and function as a warrior and mighty Tread Killer will not be dulled or delayed by temptation of the flesh. This glorious, jeweled codpiece I wear is locked quite securely in place. [sub]Also, I have taken vows of prevarication, mystification and deception. Keep these latter vows in mind when considering my previous statements.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/273 "2001-01-03T21:49:20Z")
Let me say right now that I am NOT in favor of anyone–especially Sauron–being inserted or otherwise entering ANYTHING’s bum. I stand firmly against any action of that sort. (I also try to stand firmly all the time, but that’s another story…AGH! I did it again!) _ahem_ And Amp, welcome to the club. Haven’t done a damned thing all day either. I have no self-restraint. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/274 "2001-01-03T21:52:06Z")
HOWDY! I’M BACK!!! Didya miss me? I’ve had my wife at **home** this week. Which is very helpful, when you get those mid-afternoon urges to neck with someone. 😉 Oh yeah, the pipes froze over last night too. Yeah, they just unthawed a few minutes ago. And it’s supposed to get up into the **MID 60’s** this weekend! **HELL YA!** I’ll have a chance to WARM up. And this snow, which is hanging on by sticking to shadows and benefitting by cold temps, will be **history!**. About time. I was getting tired of this cold mess. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/275 "2001-01-03T21:56:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tymp \* > \*\*On the contrary, I have vowed to live my life chaste so that my purpose and function as a warrior and mighty Tread Killer… \*\* Does Firestone know this? I’m sure they’d love to talk to you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/276 "2001-01-03T22:01:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by struuter \* > Let me say right now that I am NOT in favor of anyone–especially Sauron–being inserted or otherwise entering ANYTHING’s bum. Sigh. You’d be surprised how many times I heard this same thing in college, too. Maybe I shouldn’t have always asked on the first date. Ah, well. No sense dwelling in the past. Back to the thread-killing hostilities. Oh, and hi, Amp! Welcome! ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/277 "2001-01-03T22:03:05Z")
Mock my speeth impediment, will you, **Thaint Thero**? Do that again and I’ll kick your ath, thcurvy nave! ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/278 "2001-01-03T22:08:15Z")
Must… kill… thread… ugh _falls over_ ---
**Author:** ![Kaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaz)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/279 "2001-01-03T22:29:28Z")
Must…kill…thread…before…I die…laughing…ahh… **Sauron** …too funny… ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/280 "2001-01-03T22:38:59Z")
Okay, I’ve missed out on **racinchikki** with her duct tape and Trojans[sup]TM[/sup]. And fantasies… I missed out on **Simetra** and his padding. And talking 'bout proud and noble canadian beaver. [sub]Yer never gonna get any beaver with THAT padding, son…[/sub] I missed out on **Odieman** and **Mauvaise** with toys, and Mauv’s wonderfully Freudian typo… I missed out on **fierra** and her whole. In the snow. I missed out on **thinksnow** rubbing struuter’s um. I missed out on **Sauron** and **Tymp** clanking around waving swords like deranged extras from a community theater production of _Camelot_ and speaking as though they were quoting Shakespeare’s third cousin after an all night drunk… Honestly, Sauron, HOW can _one_ knight excrete all that goose grease? I missed out on **The Mermaid** saying “I saw a bit of fur and grabbed for it.” _That’s_ one for the ol’ sig line… I missed out on **Dire Wolf** canceling out all the other guys’ flirting just by showing up and bein’ hisself. And droppin’ an ice cube down his pants. I missed out (Thank You, Jay-zus!) on sex with Menudo. I missed out on **Amp** saying “Easy my butt”. I missed out on **struuter** with her soft firm warm Emma-Peel-leatherclad knisches and **Cobravert** with his cucumber-stuffed tights (so THAT’S what the goose-grease is for) and their TV pilot. I missed out on **struuter** saying “Just stick your hands in my knish and warm them!”. Come to think, I missed out on her saying lotsa neat stuff 'bout her knisch. And “shudder”, “come”, “mouth”, and “gulp”. And “I also try to stand firmly all the time” - Yeah, me too. Thankfully I’m seated while at work. Yes, newbie that I am, I’ve dutifully missed out on yet another Cool-People’s Party Thread. **SO!** now that I AM posting here, y’all can quit worrying about this thread dying. It should be accomplished about 24 hrs from… oh, say, NOW! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015.md?page=15)