# Threadkillers 2001! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 1, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015 "2001-01-01T21:16:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/341 "2001-01-04T16:48:20Z")
I think you’d better get a new keyboard…don’t worry, while you’re gone we won’t try to kill the thread without you, honest! Struut…were you implying that my sweet little story sent everyone to sleep? That’s horrible! The thread could have eaten them or anything! ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/342 "2001-01-04T16:50:13Z")
Oh…I didn’t say there was a problem at all. No sirree. Just an observation, that’s all. Enjoy, I’ll be sitting over here with Saint Zero watching the show. ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/343 "2001-01-04T16:53:47Z")
Allllright, who stole my cucumber? ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/344 "2001-01-04T16:55:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fierra \* > \*\* > > Struut…were you implying that my sweet little story sent everyone to sleep? That’s horrible! The thread could have eaten them or anything! \*\* Not even remotely. I quite liked your story. No…I just figured they were all exhausted from threadfighting. You have will’s gift. I’m envious. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/345 "2001-01-04T16:56:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by struuter \* > \*\*Mind Sauron’s hands, Mermaid. They’re likely to slip…what with the goose grease and all. \*\* You \*wound[i/] me, madam. Are you implying that I would willingly and wantonly smear my grease-covered hands all over this voluptuous, nubile young lady’s body just to get a few kicks? Are you saying I would let my oiled fingers trace lovingly over her smooth curves and supple skin, forgetting my sacred vow as a threadkiller? Are you impugning my honor by saying I would gently attempt to remove unnecessary portions of her clothing so that I may gaze upon her naked loveliness and bask in her gentle radiance? Is THAT what I’m hearing, here? ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/346 "2001-01-04T16:58:06Z")
Aargh. My apologies on the coding error. ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/347 "2001-01-04T16:59:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sauron \* > \*\* > You \*wound[i/] me, madam. Are you implying that I would willingly and wantonly smear my grease-covered hands all over this voluptuous, nubile young lady’s body just to get a few kicks? Are you saying I would let my oiled fingers trace lovingly over her smooth curves and supple skin, forgetting my sacred vow as a threadkiller? Are you impugning my honor by saying I would gently attempt to remove unnecessary portions of her clothing so that I may gaze upon her naked loveliness and bask in her gentle radiance? > > Is THAT what I’m hearing, here? \*\* Damn! Can I be next? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/348 "2001-01-04T17:00:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cobravert \* > \*\*Allllright, who stole my cucumber? \*\* Search me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/349 "2001-01-04T17:01:18Z")
Shit…I meant as the feel-ee. Not the feel-er. No offense, Mermaid. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/350 "2001-01-04T17:05:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Cobravert \* > > \*\*Allllright, who stole my cucumber? \*\* > > Search me. 😉 \*\* Wow! This is getting kinky! I’d be glad to ma’am but there seems to be a line… Dang $10 a ticket! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/351 "2001-01-04T17:05:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by struuter \* > \*\*Shit…I meant as the feel-ee. > > Not the feel-er. > > No offense, Mermaid. 😃 \*\* Awww Now I’m dissapointed ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/352 "2001-01-04T17:06:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by struuter \* > \*\*Shit…I meant as the feel-ee. > > Not the feel-er. > > No offense, Mermaid. 😃 \*\* I’ll give you a dollar to search Mermaid. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/353 "2001-01-04T17:09:31Z")
…How y’all doing? ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/354 "2001-01-04T17:10:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sauron \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by struuter \* > > \*\*Shit…I meant as the feel-ee. > > > > Not the feel-er. > > > > No offense, Mermaid. 😃 \*\* > > I’ll give you a dollar to search Mermaid. \*\* $1.50 😉 ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/355 "2001-01-04T17:14:27Z")
I brought my slides, sit down, pull up a chair… ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/356 "2001-01-04T17:14:54Z")
\ Ow, I…wha happened? Where am I? \ CRIKEY! Look at the size a that thread ovah there! That ther’s the biggest example of uglies-threddius-maximus I ever seen! Ah’ll bet Ay can get tha EMMY fer capturin that bloke! Jestah? Who’s Jestah? Aym tha Thread Huntah[sup]tm[/sup]! Naw, Ah don’t have tyme fer knish, Ah gotta go aftah that thread! If I’m lucky, Ah can REALLY piss im off! That’ll be Fun! \ Keep the cameras on me! Crikey, I get to close to this thing, and I could bleed out an’ DIE! ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/357 "2001-01-04T17:14:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > **take a number…** Whoop! Looks like MY number’s UP! > [@](#): > > \*\*…form a line, we’ll see what we can do \*\* Hey, look, **I** can form a line all by myself! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/358 "2001-01-04T17:23:13Z")
Sit down you Auzzie git, I said, I have slides, I know you Auzzies love slides cause it was an obnoxious Auzzie that convinced my SO that WE should be shooting slides. That we don’t own a slide projector never entered into it. We’ll start with slides of Nepal, because that’s where we met the Auzzie rat bastard who started the whole thing… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/359 "2001-01-04T17:36:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > \*\*\ > > Ow, I…wha happened? Where am I? > > \ > > CRIKEY! Look at the size a that thread ovah there! That ther’s the biggest example of uglies-threddius-maximus I ever seen! Ah’ll bet Ay can get tha EMMY fer capturin that bloke! > > Jestah? Who’s Jestah? Aym tha Thread Huntah[sup]tm[/sup]! Naw, Ah don’t have tyme fer knish, Ah gotta go aftah that thread! If I’m lucky, Ah can REALLY piss im off! That’ll be Fun! > > \ > > Keep the cameras on me! Crikey, I get to close to this thing, and I could bleed out an’ DIE! \*\* Hmph. You’re welcome. See if I ever help bring a person back from the brink of death again. Not even a thank you or a goodbye kiss. OK Fine, no more titilating remarks or fashion comentary, this means WAR!!! \>reaches in bra, pulls out Big Ass Wupping Stick™and sets off to find either Jester or the thread. ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/360 "2001-01-04T17:39:27Z")
\ Crikey, J. You pass through the bowels of the beast and come out with an Aussie accent? That gives new meaning to ‘the Outback.’ Or maybe it’s because of Mermaid and my talents in cpr? So that gives new meaning to ‘Down Under.’ Euphemisms, anyone? I’ve got a whole knish-ful of 'em. Bad ones, granted. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015.md?page=19)