# Threadkillers 2001! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 1, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015 "2001-01-01T21:16:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 46
**Author:** ![Jeffro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jeffro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeffro)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/901 "2001-01-10T04:11:07Z")
Come and listen to a story bout a hippy named Jed. A small town junkie barely keep his family fed. And then one day he was shooting up some smack kealed over on his ass had a heart attack! dead that is. cavader rigor mortis Well the next thing ya know old Jed was in the ground. Jethro said, Ellie pull your pants down! Cause I wanna see you naked and hump you every night, cause you got juicy thighs and your tits are outa sight! God I cant belive I still remember all the words to it! ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/902 "2001-01-10T04:12:01Z")
900, Bay-bee! ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/903 "2001-01-10T04:14:26Z")
Damn you, **Jeffro** Damn you to hell! 😉 \ 902? ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/904 "2001-01-10T04:27:42Z")
This pointless post does not contain any relevant informaiton on the meaning of your life or life in general. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/905 "2001-01-10T04:35:35Z")
This one, however, does. ---
**Author:** ![Jeffro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jeffro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeffro)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/906 "2001-01-10T04:50:35Z")
thinksnow ``` Damn you, Jeffro Damn you to hell! ``` * * * Your just jelous cause everyone LOVED my “Jed the hippie” song. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/907 "2001-01-10T04:56:18Z")
Good night! ---
**Author:** ![Fatwater\_Fewl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4491bb/32.png) [@Fatwater\_Fewl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fatwater_Fewl)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/908 "2001-01-10T05:10:50Z")
Somehow this thread has wrapped itself around my neck. And with every post added, it draws itself tighter and tighter. I’m having trouble breathing. It’s on your heads, people – the weight of your words is slowly strangling me. If you don’t stop posting I will die. Consider whether, or not, you can live with my death on your conscience
 I know this plea is useless against the evil that lives in this thread. I know the thread has taken over all of your minds (it’s a little silly for all of you to be in one room while an enemy walks). Know this
 steps have been taken. The end is nearer. In the event of my death by thread, dire measures will ensure my revenge from the grave. p.s. Don’t look back, something _is_ gaining on you. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/909 "2001-01-10T05:20:11Z")
\ Hopefully that will make it sluggish enough to kill. What’s that, dragging **nothamlet** down too? Well, casualties will happen, buyer beware. ---
**Author:** ![zenith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e19b73/32.png) [@zenith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zenith)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/910 "2001-01-10T05:27:14Z")
\ Hang on nothamlet, I’m coming to save you! ---
**Author:** ![Fatwater\_Fewl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4491bb/32.png) [@Fatwater\_Fewl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fatwater_Fewl)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/911 "2001-01-10T06:28:36Z")
Those last posts did it. Luckily, I had this simulacrum ready just in case. But I cannot undo what my death began. This Grendel of a thread will die. And I will be its Beowulf. I no longer have free will. Everything that happens from here on in was decreed by my former self. I pity you threadlings. You know not what you did. ---
**Author:** ![blastfurnace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5e9695/32.png) [@blastfurnace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blastfurnace)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/912 "2001-01-10T06:33:05Z")
We welcome **nothamlet** into our city of the damned. Welcome to the afterlife. Drinks are on the left, buffet on the right. Knock yerself out! ---
**Author:** ![tisiphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tisiphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tisiphone)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/913 "2001-01-10T09:02:57Z")
:innocently wandering by: EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!! Whattheheck is this thing? I didn’t wanna post here, I was dragged in by the enormous tentacles of this monster. Getitoffme!! :eek: :valiant tentacle-wrestling ensues: Ick, ick, ick. I have to go shower now - somebody else kill this
 this obscenity. Tisiphone ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/914 "2001-01-10T10:11:43Z")
Tentacle wrestling & icky showers? Don’t tell the others or the thread will never die
 ---
**Author:** ![King\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7bcc69/32.png) [@King\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/King_Rat)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/915 "2001-01-10T11:07:33Z")
We interrupt this thread to bring you yet another example of the ancient and respected art of [Cat Juggling!](http://www.Diamond-jim.com/catjuggler) Sort of a cleanse the palate type thing. ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/916 "2001-01-10T12:26:14Z")
you cleanse your palate with cats? May I suggest sorbets instead
 Fierra wanders of looking for raspberry sorbet, but gets distracted by the rest of the haagen dazs cabinet
 Anyone want to join me? Not you, thready, I have it on good authority that haagen dazs is bad for threads
 What’s that? We’re meant to be trying to kill you? Oh yeah
hmmmm
I meant is good for threads, honest! ---
**Author:** ![King\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7bcc69/32.png) [@King\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/King_Rat)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/917 "2001-01-10T12:47:42Z")
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/918 "2001-01-10T13:03:09Z")
One two! One two! And through and through! The vorpal blade went snicker-snak. He left it dead, and with this THREAD He went gallumphing back. ---
**Author:** ![King\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7bcc69/32.png) [@King\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/King_Rat)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/919 "2001-01-10T13:07:12Z")
And, has thou slain the thread? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’ He chortled in his joy. ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/920 "2001-01-10T13:36:35Z")
Bylo smazxno, lepex svihlí tlové se batoumali v dàlnici, chrudosxní byli borolové na mamné krsy zxàrnící. For this Czech version and other translations of [Jabberwocky](http://www76.pair.com/keithlim/jabberwocky/) go here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015.md?page=45) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015.md?page=47)