# Threadkillers 2001! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 1, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015 "2001-01-01T21:16:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/121 "2001-01-02T14:50:58Z")
[best jewish guy voice] Oi **Fierra** , ven I tackled you, I got such a pain in my toohkas. What, the voice I like, the accent, not so much. [/best jewish guy voice] So, when’s naked time? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/122 "2001-01-02T14:55:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Odieman \* > \*\*It would be an honour to amuse a lady like you Fierra, I will however refuse to share you unless Sim asks very nicely… Yes I know that isn’t nice but the time for being nice has passed. \*\* I think we should leave that up to her. Whaddaya say **Fierra**? Tall, blond, athletic, intelligent me? Or a short _canadian_? 😃 j/k **Odie**. Tho’ a short canadian does sound like a mixed drink. Possibly with fruit punch, whiskey, and maple syrup? ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/123 "2001-01-02T15:05:59Z")
OK I will admit defeat, you can have her, Sim. And I apologize for sitting on Struuter and not recognizing her, sheesh, you would think they’d get better lights in here. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/124 "2001-01-02T15:10:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fierra \* > \*\*no you won’t…but where is struuter? How are we supposed to kill threads without knish? > [sub]and strangely wolfish creatures who howl at the moon even in sickle shape and keep feet warm on cold night watches…[/sub] \*\* Hey, i can testify Struuter has a very tasty knish… (FROM) [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=50028&pagenumber=2](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=50028&pagenumber=2) > [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > ``` > > Originally posted by struuter > > <muffled sobs into lurker's shoulder> Will you eat > > my knish? > > > > Did I just say that? > > > > ``` > > ``` > With relish! I mean, mustard... > > ``` > > \*\* ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/125 "2001-01-02T15:17:50Z")
You know, before this is all done, knish is going to become a euphemism for something ENTIRELY different. I’m not sure how I feel about that… 😃 (I’m gonna be sorry for this, I can tell…) …So, who wants some knish? ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/126 "2001-01-02T15:17:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fierra \* > **However DW is probably far too busy being virtually married to 2 ladies to kill threads & eat snausages… :sigh:** Far be it from me to ruin your thread killing fun, fierra. 🙂 I suppose I get let him skip his marital duties for a bit (how long does it take to kill a thread?). Though I can’t say how engergetic he’ll be after the last few days in the Polygamy honeymoon suite. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/127 "2001-01-02T15:38:41Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Mauvaise \* \*\* > [@](#): > > \…after the last few days in the Polygamy honeymoon suite. 😃 \*\* Man, when do I get my turn in **there**? ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/128 "2001-01-02T15:40:09Z")
People, people, people. You’re going about this all wrong. There is honor and glory in being the anointed one, the poster who successfully kills this thread. Its ancestor was a worthy opponent, wily, strong, and damn near impervious, both externally and internally (as I learned, much to my sorrow). Of all the worthy Dopers who battled the first thread, only **particlewill** had the fortitude and endless supply of boring stories to successfully vanquish the beast … and if memory serves, he barely kept it still long enough for it to die. It thrashed a bit even after its death, wounding a few spectators. My point is that you have to enter this contest with your eyes open, your wits sharp, and your blade sharper. Mindless bantering back and forth aren’t enough to kill one of these things. That was tried in the earlier thread, and didn’t work then. These things adapt quickly, and I have no doubt that Son of Thread (or SoT, as I shall lovingly call this beast until I separate its head and body) is easily parrying these puny attempts to destroy it. It’s playing with us, people, and it will pick us off, one by one, as we chatter aimlessly amongst … Hey, is that struuter’s knish I smell? ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/129 "2001-01-02T15:45:07Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Simetra \* \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mauvaise \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \…after the last few days in the Polygamy honeymoon suite. 😃 \*\* > > Man, when do I get my turn in **there**? \*\* You first have to ask a couple/few women\* to marry you, get the to say yes, and then book yourself a room 😉 \*or men depending 😃 ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/130 "2001-01-02T15:46:29Z")
\ Oh, that was nice. Very, very nice. It harkens to the old days of threadkilling. Sauron, you never cease to amaze me. True heroes never die. Have some knish. Say, speaking of threadkilling, I’ve had a bit of sport just this morning. With my own thread, thank you very much. 2 posts. I killed it. \ Thank you, thank you. \ THREADKILLAHHHHH ---
**Author:** ![Pnuk\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Pnuk\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pnuk_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/131 "2001-01-02T16:00:06Z")
As a newbie to this killing lark I thought i’d try to use surreality to kill this thread. or a threat. or both Replying to this thread will send you to your worst nightmare. no, not THAT one… yep thats it, thats the one… scary huh? so it is writ and so on and so forth. The eagle barks anon. ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/132 "2001-01-02T16:06:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pnuk Guy \* > \*\* > The eagle barks anon. > > \*\* Now, that’s a sig waiting to happen if I ever saw one. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/133 "2001-01-02T16:09:04Z")
:pokes my head in: YAAAAWN!!! 🍃 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/134 "2001-01-02T16:10:50Z")
This calls for a mixture of psychology and extreme violence. Hello everyone, I’d like to introduce you to Fluffy. You can’t see him but this little rascal is the cutest little puppy you could imagine. He’s all bouncy and fuzzy and his eyes are bigger than Sailor Moon’s. Yep, this little fella’s ten pounds of cute in a five pound sack. What’s that? Oh, you noticed his limp. Well, I guess I should tell you the story about how this brave little dog once risked his life to save an entire plane load of nuns and schoolchildren. But everytime I get to the part about where he threw himself in front of that hail of bullets to save that little girl’s life, I get so choked up I can’t go on… Sorry. Sorry. I’ll try to hold myself together so I can finish this. Where was I? Oh yes, I was telling you about how I’ve strapped several sticks of dynamite to Fluffy’s little body and wired them to detonate if anyone posts to this thread. That’s right, anyone posts after this and Fluffy goes kibbles and bits. Now I know nobody wants that to happen so everyone be cool and just take your fingers off the keyboard. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/135 "2001-01-02T16:15:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Odieman \* > \*\*:pokes my head in: > > YAAAAWN!!! > 🍃 \*\* :: gives Odie the phone number to her doctor :: Looks like you might need some smile help too, Odie 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/136 "2001-01-02T16:16:10Z")
Have I mentioned how much I hate cute puppies? ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/137 "2001-01-02T16:55:49Z")
Can you tape it? There’s a Five in it for ya. Thanks! [sub]I hate cats.[/sub] It’s sad, get up, first thing in the morning, log on, and check The Threadkiller’s thread. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/138 "2001-01-02T17:16:33Z")
You bastards! You killed Fluffy! I know; for my next plan I’ll start a thread called _Puppykillers 2001_ and threaten to kill this thread if anyone posts to that one. Someone inevitably will post to it and this thread will die. ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/139 "2001-01-02T17:17:55Z")
Saint Zero - if you write a batch file to autopost to the thread every 23hours, then I’ll admit that you’re sad…till then, nope, zip, de nada… Sauron, I have some goose grease for you - if you want to try the internal route again, it should keep some of the thread juice off bare skin…you’ll still have to get struuter to give you a bath afterwards…goose grease is almost as pernicious as thread slime… Sim…what have you got against Canadians? At least they can get their elections counted quickly (that should give the thread another two pages…at least!) ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015/140 "2001-01-02T17:23:26Z")
Jesus H. Christ, three pages already? I’m impressed, though, as **Sauron** explained so epicly, it’s quality, not quantity, that really kills these things. After all, we all saw what happened to the “Last Word” thread, right? 21 pages in less than a week, and it was closed by a mod. Never even had a chance of anybody winning. As it is, I believe that I was conducting some experiments on the last thread, before its untimely demise. I think I shall continue said inquiries with this new Hell-Spawn, though I need some new ideas about what to conduct. Well, I guess we can try eating habits. **Nemo** , pass a few pieces of Fluffy over here. Oooooh, knish! I knew you’d come through, **struuter**! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threadkillers-2001/48015.md?page=8)