# Threads I've Aborted **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 24, 2000, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529 "2000-03-24T04:02:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/1 "2000-03-24T04:02:00Z")
GENERAL QUESTIONS What’s It Like Being with a Lady? Help Me Identify the Brown Stuff Dripping Out of My Ear What’s the Best Extra Value Meal? MPSIMS Post Your Bra Size Here Your Favorite Thing Ever! Unforgettable Bowel Movements BBQ PIT A Big F\*\*\* You to All You Islamic Extremists, and Here’s My Home Address if You Want to Do Something About It Yo! Muthafuckahs All Full of Shit! GREAT DEBATES The Case For NAMBLA Up Your Ass: Steel Dildo or Index Finger? Bob Johnson is Right! * * * “My hovercraft is full of eels.” ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/2 "2000-03-24T04:06:00Z")
Funniest thing I’ve seen in ages. ROFLMAO! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/3 "2000-03-24T04:08:00Z")
Is This _Supposed_ To Be Runny? The Case For Child Molesters. Gorditas vs. Chalupas The Stork Does Too Bring Babies!! * * * Eagles may soar free and proud, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines. ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/4 "2000-03-24T04:15:00Z")
Hey Torgo, maybe you aborted those threads, but our third favorite recent troll didn’t on one of them. See Jayburner’s thread[PurpleCrackWhore, Canadian Sue…whats your bra sizes?..](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005769.html) ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/5 "2000-03-24T09:21:00Z")
I say the best value meal is the Quarter Pounder, with or without cheese. Supersizing is good if you like a lot of fries, but I don’t think anyone needs that much Coke. * * * “His eyes are as green as a fresh-pickled toad, His hair is as dark as a blackboard, I wish he was mine, he’s really divine, The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.” ---
**Author:** ![NothingMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b77776/32.png) [@NothingMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NothingMan)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/6 "2000-03-24T09:30:00Z")
How about : “Chili-Mac and Genital Herpes” “The Unabomber is **So** Misunderstood” “It burns when I pee . . .” “My Pal Chuck Manson” (I appear to be stuck on two themes here. Wait . . . I got it !) “My Pal Chuck Manson and His Genital Herpes” * * * “No one cares how pretty the souffle is, if the appetizer is turds-in-a-blanket.” Bill McNeil, _NewsRadio_ ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/7 "2000-03-24T13:23:00Z")
If we’re not blood related, is it ok to date? Bestiality: Underrated? What’s your favorite number? OK, Who has 10 fingers? * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![dekayx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@dekayx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dekayx)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/8 "2000-03-24T14:24:00Z")
How big is TOO big? * * * No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness…Mary Wollstonecraft ---
**Author:** ![dekayx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@dekayx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dekayx)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/9 "2000-03-24T14:28:00Z")
How big is TOO big? * * * No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness…Mary Wollstonecraft ---
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/10 "2000-03-24T17:00:00Z")
“How come there’s never any controversy on the board?” “Cecil Adams really isn’t that smart, if you ask me.” “Anybody else see that thing on the show with that one chick who does the stuff with that whatchamacallit?” “I miss Michael Masterson.” “The Ethics of Cramming Telephone Books Up Your Ass.” “Why can’t I get a date with that smelly bitch at the bus-stop?” “How many licks would it take to get to the center of an onion?” “Canadians: Blessed neighbors or the next source of white slaves for our snuff film industry?” “My penis fell off…AGAIN!!!” “I’m leaving this board… No, wait!!.. Yeah, I am… Maybe not…” “Fun things to do in an elevator full of Scientologists” “Man, how I wish that Stalin guy was still around…” “What’s wrong with all these groundhog killers?” “Dopefest Boise: Party of One” “Sequential Thread Titles, part 6,345,921” “Is it just me, or are gas prices a little higher this year?” “How to skin a wallaby” ---
**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/11 "2000-03-25T06:04:00Z")
_tears streaming down face, clutching hemorrhaging side_ Oh god. ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/12 "2000-03-25T06:14:00Z")
“No, really, what’s the third word that ends in gry?” “What’s with all these people whining about people whining about people whining about trolls?” “David B, how do you feel about creationists?” ---
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/13 "2000-03-25T06:41:00Z")
“Ask the Castrated Dyslexic Vietnamese Dwarf” “My boogers taste awfully salty today” “Anybody else just getting over a bad case of syphillis?” “Michael Bolton: Musical Genius (with a nice ass)” “Sometimes I am strangely aroused by my deodorant” “Who Wants to Be A Dirty Little Whore?” “My favorite biblical plague, or why locusts kick ass!” “I’ve had it up to here with all these beautiful naked women running around the office” “Best way to remove bloodstain from off-white sofa? (Urgent!)” “Libertarians. Anybody ever heard of these people?” “I had that dream about UncleBeer and the vat of pudding again last night.” "How come Milli Vanilli isn’t putting out any new albums? “Religion question: how did Noah find all those different kinds of beetles?” “Masturbation: the cream cheese and WD-40 method” “How can I kill my neighbor’s emu without getting caught?” “Seriously, the Cubs are going to win this year. No, really.” “I wish I could find more of these mothball earrings.” ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/14 "2000-03-24T20:07:00Z")
[http://www.beginbids.com/ubb/smilies/icon25.gif](http://www.beginbids.com/ubb/smilies/icon25.gif) [http://www.beginbids.com/ubb/smilies/icon25.gif](http://www.beginbids.com/ubb/smilies/icon25.gif) [http://www.beginbids.com/ubb/smilies/icon25.gif](http://www.beginbids.com/ubb/smilies/icon25.gif) h ttp://www.beginbids.com/ubb/smilies/icon25.gif [http://www.beginbids.com/ubb/smilies/icon25.gif](http://www.beginbids.com/ubb/smilies/icon25.gif) Hurts… laughing… ow… bleeding… losing… consciousness… Esprix, who should know better than to read this stuff at work - my co-workers are now looking at me strangely while I stifle loud laughter - you bastards! * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/15 "2000-03-24T20:10:00Z")
“Does Pat Robertson turn anyone else on?” “Anybody know how to tenderize a Chinaman?” “Jeffrey Dahmer beats N’Sync any day!” “WHAT IF I went out and killed some Christians? (hypothetical)” “Faggots make me sick, but in a good way” I dunno, I’m rambling, and ReservoirDog beats us all anyway. Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/16 "2000-03-24T21:57:00Z")
“What if my one toe is turning green?” “I see not-quite-dead people (My trip to the nursing home)” “Is it true that drinking too much lighter fluid causes cavities?” “Further reflection upon the nature of Hillary’s posterior” “Anti-gun lobbyists & white-tail deer: partners in crime?” “My most embarrassing sex act with an underage chipmunk” “Who here wants some of my extra Preperation H?” “Sometimes I just don’t understand Italian Neo-realism” “That clerk at the 7-11 really had refreshing breath!” “How Fluffy went to a better place (snowblower accident)” ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/17 "2000-03-25T03:09:00Z")
ROTFLMAO!!! As soon as my printer is working, I’m making a hard copy of this thread!!! Too funny. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/18 "2000-03-25T03:26:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Rilchiam: > \*\*I say the best value meal is the Quarter Pounder, with or without cheese. Supersizing is good if you like a lot of fries, but I don’t think anyone needs that much Coke. > > \*\* Goddammit! Don’t tell me how much Coke I need! Besides, any idiot knows the best value meal is the Burger King Italian Chick’n Crisp value meal for $2.99…AMERICAN! 😉 Oh, and by the way, ROFLMAO! This thread had me in TEARS! I don’t see how I can possibly top those, but I’ll give it a try… “Why do they call it “stalking” when I just really, really love him?” * * * Now there’s nothing unexpected about the water giving out; “Land” is not a word we have to shout. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/19 "2000-03-25T03:55:00Z")
Soupy Sales-The Fifth Monkee? Is Krispy Original Really slythe?? I’m Thinking Of A Number… Why Does It Hurt When I Do This? What Happened To The Rest Of This Threa Why Aren’t Manhole Covers 17-Sided, Chocolate-Covered, And Available in 6 Assorted Colors At Your Neighborhood Sex Shop? Test Your HTML Here! Arsenic-The Misunderstood Herb ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2000, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529/20 "2000-03-25T07:13:00Z")
“Legal Question: If she’s passed out, she’s willing, right?” “Favorite Images I’ve seen in my bowel movements” “Hey Ed, fuck you and your new rules too” “Reasons Marilyn vos Savant is smarter than Cecil” “Anyone else have a nose hair collection?” “What’s the best way to explain to GF about a light bulb in your rectum?” “Fantasy Island: fiction or documentary?” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threads-ive-aborted/15529.md?page=2)