# Threatened if I go to the Police. What should I do. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 1, 2015, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902 "2015-03-01T01:44:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/1 "2015-03-01T01:44:12Z")
Yesterday I was involved in an altercation with a new resident to the share house I’ve been living in for over a year. They’ve only been here a few days, and they’ve been really problematic. If they haven’t been involved in illegal activity (unclear) they have at least been disruptive and intimidating to the point of being almost impossible to live with. And this is within less than five days of moving in. So I got stroppy with one of their friends who keeps wandering around, and, after advice from the landlord, demanded she leave the house so I could lock the front door. I overreacted, and also demanded another woman to leave but she was a resident, and I had no right to say that. At no point did I lay a finger on them physically, it was just my usual grouchy insistence and swearing. The co-resident, boyfriend of the aforementioned female resident, an intimidating muscled fellow who, it turns out, has just recently gotten out of prison, sees me gesturing and effing and blinding, and rushes in to punch me twice in the face. I go down, mostly in shock (the injuries are just a bruised lip). After a lot of angry shouting while I lay on the floor, I hid in my room and called the Police while he and the others left. The Police did not come around, they said they were too busy and instead, as I was no longer under threat, I should make a statement the next day, today. I went to a Doc and got a record of the injuries, and have discussed it a lot with the landlord. The tough guy resident has just come in and threatened me if I go to the Police and lay charges. He actually said he’d snap my spine, because due to his past he’d go back to jail immediately, and he doesn’t want that. He also says the aforementioned girlfriend is pregnant. No evidence to support that, though. Just an additional sympathy card. He apologised, I shook his hand, and she was also contrite and had tears in her eyes. What should I do? I am inclined to go to the Police anyway (appointment less than two hours from now), just to keep a record of the incident if not to press charges. Eviction would also be easier with that record being made. Should I press charges? ---
**Author:** ![Octarine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/22d042/32.png) [@Octarine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Octarine)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/2 "2015-03-01T01:48:46Z")
So the guy gave you a “get well soon” card, his girlfriend cried from remorse, and he threatened to snap your spine? Bit of a mixed message there . . . ETA: Oh, I misunderstood, the story about his pregnant girlfriend was the “card” to get sympathy. That mental image was hilarious, though. I would judge my response on how much faith I had in the local police. If you think they’ll poke around obliviously and then leave, the trouble it could cause might not be worth it. If you think having a record of this could help you, though, I’d go for it - the fact that you’re being threatened shows this this is a very unstable and dangerous individual. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/3 "2015-03-01T02:01:26Z")
Muscle-y dude doesn’t seem like he’s the sharpest knife in the drawer. Tell him you need some clarification of his desires, and the conditions under which he would be inclined to snap your spine. Ask him if he can give it to you in writing. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/4 "2015-03-01T02:35:05Z")
Is there anywhere you can stay until the boyfriend is picked up and locked up? I’d go to the police and provide the entire story, including the threat. If a bully has bullied and then snowed you with a sob story, then you’re a sucker. Things at your home will not improve. If all else fails, move out. I can’t see the landlord arguing with that after what has happened. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/5 "2015-03-01T02:37:27Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > Is there anywhere you can stay until the boyfriend is picked up and locked up? > > I’d go to the police and provide the entire story, including the threat. If a bully has bullied and then snowed you with a sob story, then you’re a sucker. Things at your home will not improve. > > If all else fails, move out. I can’t see the landlord arguing with that after what has happened. Seconded. If you prove you’re a doormat now, no way will things get any better with this pair. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/6 "2015-03-01T02:42:23Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > I’d go to the police and provide the entire story, including the threat. If a bully has bullied and then snowed you with a sob story, then you’re a sucker. Things at your home will not improve. That’s my thinking. I will go to the Police, and see what their advice is. > [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > If all else fails, move out. I can’t see the landlord arguing with that after what has happened. Very much moved up high in the list. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/7 "2015-03-01T02:52:41Z")
Got to the police AND move out. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/8 "2015-03-01T03:10:18Z")
Heading off to the Police now. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/9 "2015-03-01T03:52:00Z")
Please keep us posted, and keep yourself safe. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/10 "2015-03-01T04:07:23Z")
So you _demanded another woman to leave but she was a resident_ and _had no right to say that_. Her boyfriend sees you _gesturing and effing and blinding_ at his pregnant girlfriend. You’re demanding that she leave, which you had no right to do, and you wouldn’t stop insisting and swearing at her so he punched you in the face, twice. Did I get that right? I’m not a violent person, but if that’s what it takes to get you to shut the fuck up and back the fuck off my significant other when you are “demanding” that they leave their own residence, yes, I will punch you in the face. Twice, if that is what it takes to get through to you that you need to step back and rewind. Sorry, but YOU WERE THE BULLY IN THIS SITUATION and you got your ass kicked. You were 100% in the wrong and when you got your ass kicked you called the cops. Boo Hoo. Stop mouthing off at people you don’t have dominion over and things like this won’t happen. ---
**Author:** ![Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cabin_fever_1/32/2908_2.png) [@Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabin_Fever_1)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/11 "2015-03-01T04:10:04Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Please keep us posted, and keep yourself safe. This… ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/12 "2015-03-01T04:19:28Z")
**GuanoLad** , stay safe and stay strong, brother. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/13 "2015-03-01T04:26:22Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > So you _demanded another woman to leave but she was a resident_ and _had no right to say that_. > > Her boyfriend sees you _gesturing and effing and blinding_ at his pregnant girlfriend. You’re demanding that she leave, which you had no right to do, and you wouldn’t stop insisting and swearing at her so he punched you in the face, twice. > > Did I get that right? > > I’m not a violent person, but if that’s what it takes to get you to shut the fuck up and back the fuck off my significant other when you are “demanding” that they leave their own residence, yes, I will punch you in the face. Twice, if that is what it takes to get through to you that you need to step back and rewind. > > Sorry, but YOU WERE THE BULLY IN THIS SITUATION and you got your ass kicked. You were 100% in the wrong and when you got your ass kicked you called the cops. Boo Hoo. > > Stop mouthing off at people you don’t have dominion over and things like this won’t happen. That’s not quite the scenario I got from the OP. There were several people in the original argument. He demanded that the resident’s friend leave, and in the heat of the argument, demanded that the resident leave with her. The latter move was wrong (which he readily admits), but the former move was well within his rights. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/14 "2015-03-01T04:46:51Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > Stop posting without understanding what you’re posting about and things like your post I quoted won’t happen. What exactly didn’t I understand? It’s pretty clear. > [@GuanoLad](#): > > and also demanded **another woman** to leave but she was a resident, and I had no right to say that. At no point did I lay a finger on them physically, it was just my usual grouchy insistence and swearing. > > The co-resident, boyfriend of the aforementioned female resident, an intimidating muscled fellow who, it turns out, has just recently gotten out of prison, sees me gesturing and effing and blinding, and rushes in to punch me twice in the face. He doesn’t like the new resident. He gets pissed at her friend. He demands the friend leaves. He demands the resident leaves. He has no right to say that to the resident at the very least. He swears at the resident and is belligerent. By his own definition, he is going off on them. The boyfriend intervenes. He gets punched twice, in the face by the boyfriend of the resident. He is not the landlord. He does not own the property. He is not the Grand Ruler. It is not his decision. He is in a communal living situation. He refers to his behavior as his “usual grouchy insistence and swearing”. Sounds like a real peach. Would you put up with a belligerent roommate demanding your friend leave, swearing at you and then demanding that YOU leave? I doubt it. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/15 "2015-03-01T05:09:32Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > The tough guy resident has just come in and threatened me if I go to the Police and lay charges. He actually said he’d snap my spine. He also says the aforementioned girlfriend is pregnant. He apologised, I shook his hand \<_snipped_\> \<_Blinks in confusion_\> Wait, what is missing here? I did snip some content out but not anything from the point of threatening to snap your spine and saying his girlfriend was pregnant to jumping right to apologizing and shaking hands with you.-_scene missing_-? > [@Octarine](#): > > So the guy gave you a “get well soon” card, his girlfriend cried from remorse, and he threatened to snap your spine? Bit of a mixed message there . . . > > ETA: Oh, I misunderstood, the story about his pregnant girlfriend was the “card” to get sympathy. That mental image was hilarious, though. Even reading it correctly is still pretty funny. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/16 "2015-03-01T05:18:17Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > Would you put up with a belligerent roommate demanding your friend leave, swearing at you and then demanding that YOU leave? I doubt it. I certainly wouldn’t punch said roommate, because assault and battery isn’t how civilized adults handle these situations. Additionally, this doesn’t appear to be the first problem from the woman and her boyfriend: > [@](#): > > …they have at least been disruptive and intimidating to the point of being almost impossible to live with. And this is within less than five days of moving in. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/17 "2015-03-01T05:31:24Z")
I’m curious, what is the “illegal activity” you are unclear about possibly occurring with these neighbors? Drug dealing? ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/18 "2015-03-01T05:41:59Z")
Back from the Police. I chose not to go through the rigmarole of pressing charges, but they took the details down anyway. **LurkerInNJ** , yes, I did do something that was a mistake, though I didn’t realise as I was doing it, but I don’t believe it warranted a punch in the mouth. I anticipated him arguing back verbally, but the fist to the face was unexpected and, in my opinion, several steps too far. > [@Ambivalid](#): > > \<_Blinks in confusion_\> Wait, what is missing here? I did snip some content out but not anything from the point of threatening to snap your spine and saying his girlfriend was pregnant to jumping right to apologizing and shaking hands with you.-_scene missing_-? Yes. It was a weird thing to see him go from a horrifically graphic and real threat to offering an apology. I honestly didn’t know where he was going with it until he held out his hand. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/19 "2015-03-01T05:43:05Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I’m curious, what is the “illegal activity” you are unclear about possibly occurring with these neighbors? Drug dealing? Drug something. Not sure. May just be drug use. Or may actually be nothing and I’m totally misinterpreting everything in the worst light. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902/20 "2015-03-01T05:46:04Z")
The guy who just got out of jail and threatened you BUT was afraid of going back, should have thought of that before he did that stuff to you. Call the cops. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatened-if-i-go-to-the-police-what-should-i-do/713902.md?page=2)