# threatening neighbors **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [May 7, 2009, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638 "2009-05-07T06:27:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/1 "2009-05-07T06:27:29Z")
What kind of protection do you have when your neighbor threatens to kill you? I have called on our neighbor (the walls are together). We’ve called two days in a row for them banging hard on our wall whenever we flip a light switch or cough. After the police left tonight, I heard her yell I’m gonna kill them next door tomorrow. I called the police and they wrote that down. How safe am I? Can I file a restraining order? ---
**Author:** ![reef\_shark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@reef\_shark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reef_shark)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/2 "2009-05-07T07:38:00Z")
People who bang on walls are probably angry about something. It is probably in your best interest to find out what that is. I doubt it is because you turned a light on. ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/3 "2009-05-07T08:02:03Z")
No, every small sound Imake upstairs, I get the banging, then at times, a laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/4 "2009-05-07T08:06:54Z")
you might try a TRO but keep in mind someone may have to serve it on them ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/5 "2009-05-07T08:50:03Z")
> [@Tamara+](#): > > We’ve called two days in a row for them banging hard on our wall whenever we flip a light switch or cough. > After the police left tonight, I heard her yell I’m gonna kill them next door tomorrow. Called who? The cops? Because the neighbors banged on your wall? If so, that doesn’t rate a death threat, but it might be a wee bit unnecessary all the same. ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/6 "2009-05-07T11:53:05Z")
Shes been banging on the wall every night for weeks every time i make a peep from about 9 p.m. to 3 a.m. ---
**Author:** ![redshift](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbce88/32.png) [@redshift](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redshift)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/7 "2009-05-07T11:55:38Z")
> [@Tamara+](#): > > Shes been banging on the wall every night for weeks every time i make a peep from about 9 p.m. to 3 a.m. Well, IANAL but I do think that is grounds for at least a noise complaint. And that a death threat can be taken very very seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/8 "2009-05-07T12:09:04Z")
Bang on their wall at random times for no reason, and yell, “Knock off that racket!”" ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/9 "2009-05-07T12:30:01Z")
Was it a real “threat” or was it more like, “I’m gonna kill those kids if they don’t stop bouncing on the bed”? I mean, I’ve used that phrase to express annoyance many times. I assure you, I’m interested in killing \*no one \*(even if they DO bounce on the bed). Neighbors…it’s the luck of the draw. I am very happy that I have an acre or two between me and the folks next door, even though I like them!! ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/10 "2009-05-07T12:40:34Z")
I’m going kill those fags next door is what it was. ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/11 "2009-05-07T12:41:34Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Bang on their wall at random times for no reason, and yell, “Knock off that racket!”" . She just bangs back over and over. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/12 "2009-05-07T20:32:41Z")
> [@Tamara+](#): > > I’m going kill those fags next door is what it was. Hmmm…sounds hate crimey. I would definitely mention that to John Law. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2009, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/13 "2009-05-07T21:46:29Z")
Would you consider the mental stability of your neighbors a few fries short of a Happy Meal? ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2009, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/14 "2009-05-08T02:04:26Z")
She has four kids. We had spoken okay at first, last year. Now its constant banging and tonight I alled as her kids were standing at our back door screaming. The policeman said they will fine both of us 100 each time theres a complaint. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2009, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/15 "2009-05-08T02:11:00Z")
Is this an apartment? What’s the landlord doing? ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2009, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/16 "2009-05-08T02:14:26Z")
We own, they are renting off of the owner, who probably doesn’t know about this. I was told by the police to contact the management company and they are sending her a warning letter. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2009, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/17 "2009-05-08T04:28:57Z")
Evidently there is little you can do about a threat without something to back it up. On the news there was a blip about that college kid getting murdered and this kid had a stalker. The cops said even with direct threats it’s hard to act BEFORE something is done. That’s why restraining orders are often described as a piece of paper next to the corpse. They are only useful if the person it’s against is on parole or something and can be sent away for some violation. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2009, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/18 "2009-05-08T07:46:51Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > Evidently there is little you can do about a threat without something to back it up. On the news there was a blip about that college kid getting murdered and this kid had a stalker. The cops said even with direct threats it’s hard to act BEFORE something is done. > > That’s why restraining orders are often described as a piece of paper next to the corpse. > > They are only useful if the person it’s against is on parole or something and can be sent away for some violation. YMMV, things are different in every state. That is not true. In most states violation of a TRO is automatic go to jail. In New Jersey you are going to jail without bail until you see a Superior Court Judge. Someone who is crazy and determined to kill you without regard to their own life can not be stopped by an order but that is very rare. It is a deterent and can be and is used to stop a situation before it escalates. I’ve been a cop for 11 years in a town of 60,000 people. In that time there has been one murder where there was a violation of a restraining order. The victim in that case was not even the plaintiff, it was another family member. In that time there have been more arrests for RO violations than I can count. I’m sure for at least some of them the arrest stopped something bad from happening before the situation developed. It is not a shield that will protect you from all harm. But it is a tool that is quite useful. I am not in the jurisdiction of the OP so I will only say what can happen in New Jersey. A verbal threat is at least harrassment. If it is a credible threat of death or serious bodily injury it can be considered a terroristic threat. Of course there is a burden of proof. For something like was mentioned in the OP there will be no arrest. There is no way to make a case. There is not enough probable cause for an arrest. However it is always your option to sign complaints against someone else. It is up to you to decide if it is worth it. In NJ restraining orders can only be granted in the case of domestic violence. A judge can make other binding orders but they are not restraining orders. For instance a restraining order is given on an emergency basis, most often on the day of the incident. Other judicial orders have to go through the court process and take a lot of time. A restraining order can be enforced by local police. Other judicial orders can not. Violations can only be reported and later acted on by the issuing judge. That can vary greatly from state to state. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2009, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/19 "2009-05-08T09:48:42Z")
I wonder if you could employ the use of a video camera. If these kids are harrassing you outside your door, screaming and whatnot, get them on tape. Record what you can and present it as evidence. I don’t like the idea that they can just start fining you every time you lodge a complaint against someone. If you have some proof, maybe they’ll look at it as more than just a couple of feuding neighbors. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2009, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638/20 "2009-05-08T13:11:02Z")
> [@Tamara+](#): > > We own, they are renting off of the owner, who probably doesn’t know about this. I was told by the police to contact the management company and they are sending her a warning letter. Who is sending who a letter? I would try contacting the owner of the ‘other side’, and calmly explaining the situation. As you say, the owner may know nothing of this, and might be willing to crack down on the tenants. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threatening-neighbors/495638.md?page=2)