# Threats. Funny, over-the-top, hyperbolic threats (probably NSFW)

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threats-funny-over-the-top-hyperbolic-threats-probably-nsfw/725467>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [July 17, 2015, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threats-funny-over-the-top-hyperbolic-threats-probably-nsfw/725467 "2015-07-17T23:32:37Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 6\
**Page:** 2

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threats-funny-over-the-top-hyperbolic-threats-probably-nsfw/725467/21 "2015-07-18T23:31:06Z")

</div>

“I’m gonna’ make you watch 18 straight hours of _Keeping Up with the Kardashians_!”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2015, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threats-funny-over-the-top-hyperbolic-threats-probably-nsfw/725467/22 "2015-07-19T00:39:46Z")

</div>

“I’ve got a pistol, a knife, and a soldering iron. If I have to, I’ll kill you with the pistol or the knife.”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Marion\_Wormer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Marion\_Wormer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marion_Wormer)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2015, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threats-funny-over-the-top-hyperbolic-threats-probably-nsfw/725467/23 "2015-07-19T01:02:52Z")

</div>

Geeze, I’m still trying to memorize some of the insults from “Spy”.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Toxgoddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Toxgoddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxgoddess)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2015, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threats-funny-over-the-top-hyperbolic-threats-probably-nsfw/725467/24 "2015-07-19T03:38:38Z")

</div>

I’ll cut your heart out with a spoon.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2015, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threats-funny-over-the-top-hyperbolic-threats-probably-nsfw/725467/25 "2015-07-19T04:21:21Z")

</div>

> [@ITR\_champion](#):
>
> “I’m gonna’ make you watch 18 straight hours of _Keeping Up with the Kardashians_!”

We’re _trying_ to keep this out of The BBQ Pit. :eek:

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2015, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threats-funny-over-the-top-hyperbolic-threats-probably-nsfw/725467/26 "2015-07-19T17:50:07Z")

</div>

I’ll kick your ass so hard my shoelaces will come out of your nose.

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/threats-funny-over-the-top-hyperbolic-threats-probably-nsfw/725467.md?page=1)