# Three-Item Purchase **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 2, 2003, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813 "2003-07-02T17:09:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/41 "2003-07-05T08:06:17Z")
Bag of tomatos Head of lettuce All natural vinegar and water douche * * * 1 whole cow tongue 1 pack of batteries 1 pack of electrical tape * * * 1 pack SpongeBob Squarepants party favors 1 100 count pack of disposable plastic gloves 1 tub of Crisco * * * 1 pack of vacuum cleaner belts 1 tub of Crisco 1 issue of Martha Stewart living * * * ---
**Author:** ![robgruver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@robgruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robgruver)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/42 "2003-07-05T14:04:13Z")
Duct tape, hand axe, garbage bags. ---
**Author:** ![truthbot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@truthbot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truthbot)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/43 "2003-07-05T14:09:44Z")
Cheetos, Playboy, OrangeKleen ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/44 "2003-07-05T14:18:16Z")
Jalapeno peppers, lube, burn ointment. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/45 "2003-07-05T16:08:53Z")
In honor of an old National Lampoon: David Eisenhower, a french poodle, and a Waterpik ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/46 "2003-07-05T17:28:15Z")
Turkey baster Pickles Ice cream ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/47 "2003-07-05T18:11:57Z")
Spiderman costume, bungee cable and a gross carton of giant sized Lego sets. A cow-orker reading over my shoulder just said this very, very sick combination: a plane flying manual, several sets of plastic handcuffs, and a book on national monuments. Now excuse me while I report him to the FBI. ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/48 "2003-07-05T18:34:16Z")
seltzer, cocktail onions, lighter fluid ---
**Author:** ![ghostrider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/58f4c7/32.png) [@ghostrider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ghostrider)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/49 "2003-07-05T19:53:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > > A cow-orker reading over my shoulder just said this very, very sick combination… Just how do you ork a cow? That does sound pretty sick… This is a very funny thread, but I must say that about 85% of the answers involve at least one item that I could never find at my local grocery store. Poetic license I guess. Hey, whatever works! ---
**Author:** ![juji\_mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ea924/32.png) [@juji\_mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/juji_mojo)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/50 "2003-07-06T12:24:26Z")
four items but I stood in line behind the guy who bought Dog food Candles Mouth Wash K-Y Jelly ---
**Author:** ![postcards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8e8cbc/32.png) [@postcards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postcards)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/51 "2003-07-06T16:32:30Z")
A scented candle, a Barry White CD, and a box of Pampers Newborn. (stolen from an old Target ad.) ---
**Author:** ![Eilsel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c68b51/32.png) [@Eilsel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eilsel)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/52 "2003-07-06T16:40:34Z")
ice cream, pickles and a hustler ---
**Author:** ![Capcha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Capcha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capcha)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/53 "2003-07-06T17:02:55Z")
Depends (Adult diapers), Rubber gloves, Febreez (air freshener) ---
**Author:** ![snermy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@snermy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snermy)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/54 "2003-07-06T18:49:05Z")
Super glue, and two coconuts toaster, extension cord, Mr. Bubble > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ghostrider \* > \*\*This is a very funny thread, but I must say that about 85% of the answers involve at least one item that I could never find at my local grocery store. Poetic license I guess. Hey, whatever works! \*\* You must not have Meijer’s where you are. How sad. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/55 "2003-07-06T19:12:39Z")
Ambusol(or similiar dental anasthetic) Pliers Cotton Balls * * * Dog Whistle Surloin ## Bottle Of Sleeping Pills Tabasco sauce Six pack of cheap beer ## Baby bottle Baseball cap (In my experience many supermarkets have cheap caps that express local pride) High gauge aluminum foil Latest issue of Weekly World News ---
**Author:** ![StephanieG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@StephanieG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StephanieG)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/56 "2003-07-06T21:10:10Z")
Catnip, hammer & hamburger helper Birthday cake, sleeping pills, hacksaw Kool-aid, Liquid plumber, coloing book Scissors, newspaper with headlines of Laurena Bobbit, sleeping pills Immodium AD, Milk of Magnesia and LOTS of cheese For a man: KY jelly, kleenex, an issue of Seventeen For a woman: Cucumber, KY jelly, an issue of Gentlemen’s Quarterly That’s all, my husband is grossed out listening to them. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/57 "2003-07-06T21:16:59Z")
Unless I’m very much mistaken, I’d like everybody to welcome my pal StephanieG to the boards. ``` I expect to see more of her posts in mathematics(she epxlained her proof of 0.9999.....=1 to me. I understood about half the words she used.), RPG, and Trek threads. Welcome Stephanie, to the fight against ignorance. ``` All their bases will belong to us! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/58 "2003-07-07T11:51:14Z")
Box of candles, big butcher knife, and any book on Satanic ritual murder (Fatal Vision or Helter Skelter would be good). ---
**Author:** ![Lockseer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@Lockseer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lockseer)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/59 "2003-07-08T03:29:46Z")
Hamburger Helper, moist cat food, extra large plastic bottle of Heinz Ketchup ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813/60 "2003-07-08T15:01:18Z")
Come on, now. 1. Children’s pajamas, lighter fluid, “Aim-n-Flame.” 2. Duct tape, stun gun, copy of “Romance for Dummies.” 3. Bag Gummi-Bears, bag of balloons, gallon of bleach. Crap, I need help. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-item-purchase/185813.md?page=4)