# Three miles! THREE MILES! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 7, 2007, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087 "2007-06-07T03:33:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Fiveyearlurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@Fiveyearlurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveyearlurker)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/21 "2007-06-07T16:42:15Z")
There’s a reason that marathons have people handing out tougue depressors with vaseline on them every few miles! Seriously, go to the sporting good store and ask for Body Glide. Looks like a little deodorant. Smells like ass, but rub it on and you won’t have a problem. (I finished my first marathon shirtless because it got so bad) ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/22 "2007-06-07T17:18:37Z")
Turns out my nipples weren’t actually bleeding, they just hurt like hell. Well, the right one did, anyway. The tee I was wearing had a little embroidered logo on the breast, which ended up chafing like a motherfucker. Next time, I’ll make sure I’ve got a plain t-shirt. I think I’ll forgo putting any tape on my chest. Bloody nipples would probably be less painful than trying to get masking tape off my manly, hirsute torso. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/23 "2007-06-07T17:20:12Z")
Congratulations! _turns the hose on you to cool you off and offers Gatorade_ ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/24 "2007-06-07T17:31:58Z")
**Miller** get yourself some dri-fit style shirts. A regular cotton t-shirt becomes soaked and heavy and makes runnning a PITA. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/25 "2007-06-07T19:21:46Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] No stopping. No slowing down. Three miles, all the way. Never gone that far, not all in one go. Three miles! I feel like I’m going to die. I feel fantastic. I think my nipples are bleeding. But three miles! **Three miles!** Tomorrow, I start working on four. [/QUOTE] 😕 [Don’t they sell these pasties-like things for running with a shirt on?](http://www.nipguards.com/quotes.asp) ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/26 "2007-06-07T19:21:59Z")
Congratulations. 165 2/3 more just like it and you’ll be a Proclaimers song. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/27 "2007-06-07T19:50:12Z")
Only if he’s got 3 nipples…or am I not doing the math right? ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/28 "2007-06-07T20:02:43Z")
> [@](#): > > my nipples are bleeding. > [@](#): > > harumph…I shall remain unconvinced. Perhaps I have inverted nipples. Ohhh man do I wish he were kidding. I’ve never gotten to the bleeding point but the pain is pretty intense. The nipples are getting chaffed, and you are sweating salt into the raw area. The nipples are quite sensitive. I won’t say that it is common, but it is ordinary enough that there are known solutions. I have been told vaseline helps, but my guess is that it is not as good as vaseline + band-aids. I have been out of the running game for a while so I haven’t tested these solutions, but my time is coming. Good luck with the running, and don’t stop at 3 miles go for 5, then 10. Sooner than you think, you will be ready for a marathon. ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/29 "2007-06-07T20:21:26Z")
[QUOTE=Great Dave] When I lifeguarded, we used paddleboards for rescues- I was at lakes with beaches. We would paddle for half-hour to an hour for workouts sometimes. Not being comfortable on my knees, I paddled on my chest. Talk about sore nipples! I mock you and your poor nipples from shirt chafage. [/QUOTE] In a slightly hijackular case of international ante-upping, The iconic Australian image of Lifesavers with their speedos wedged all up in their butt cracks is created, in fact, to avoid a painful chafing-based condition called “boing-boing” caused by rowing their rescue surfboats. Chafed nipples? Pffft. You don’t know half of it! 🙂 mm ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/30 "2007-06-07T20:38:42Z")
Congrats…but, just so ya know – bloody nipples = bad. Very bad. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/31 "2007-06-07T20:46:34Z")
Yeah…I need to get up to 3.5 miles in the next few weeks for the JPMorganChase Corporate Challenge. I’m good for about 2 so far. ---
**Author:** ![ryobserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@ryobserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryobserver)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2007, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/32 "2007-06-07T23:49:22Z")
Congratulations! According to the textbook I have here, “Sports Dermatology” by Brian B. Adams, the main cause of joggers’ nipples is cotton T-shirts and, for women, jogging without a bra. The “coarse fiber cotton” Ts given away by race organizers be worn only after the race is over, sayeth the text; wear slippery synthetics while running, and apply petroleum jelly, patches or adhesive tape as required. Joggers’ nipples come alphabetically in the chapter on friction injuries, right after foosball finger and jazz ballet bottom. Which is completely irrelevant; I just wanted to use the words “jazz ballet bottom”. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2007, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/33 "2007-06-08T00:43:22Z")
Congratulations! It feels awesome to be able to run that far. 4 is not far behind, either. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2007, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/34 "2007-06-08T01:19:20Z")
I got a bloody nipple once when I dropped a razor when I was shaving my face in the tub once. That’s not a world of pain I wish to enter into again. I heard about the chafed nippleage, but experienced a mild case after playing 3 hours of racketball. Yeah, I’m not wearing THAT shirt again on racketball days. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2007, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/35 "2007-06-08T01:35:27Z")
You go, boy. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2007, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/36 "2007-06-08T01:49:33Z")
[QUOTE=monstro] You go, boy. [/QUOTE] Where do you want me to go? It’s cold outside and I forgot my jacket… ☹ (if there were a puppy dog-eye smilie, I woulda used that) ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2007, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/37 "2007-06-08T03:34:27Z")
[QUOTE=amarinth] Congratulations! It feels awesome to be able to run that far. 4 is not far behind, either. [/QUOTE] I disagree. Granted I’m woefully out of shape, but it feels like having my ass kicked for 3.5 miles. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2007, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/38 "2007-06-08T03:42:15Z")
[QUOTE=Omniscient] Very very common. Watch the finish line of a 10K someday and prepare to be horrified. Wearing a sweaty white shirt will make the runners look like they’ve been shot. Twice. [/QUOTE] Wow, all the useless and gory stuff I learn here. Thanks, people! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2007, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/39 "2007-06-08T04:19:19Z")
_And now, your musical interlude:_ (To the tune of Oklahoma) Eller: He couldn’t pick a better time as that to run Andrew: It ain’t too early and it ain’t too late Laurey: Startin’ as a runner and he’s gonna have fun Curly: But he’ll soon be living in a world of hurt Company: World of hurt! World of hurt!, gonna feel like shit! Gonna give you blisters, bunions, and the runs, Soreness for your muscles, Sweat rolls down your buns, Cramping in your legs so much it hurts to walk, Plen’y of pain and plen’y of sweat Plen’y of pride but dont forget That there’s one more thing that you must know. Blooooooooody nipples, where your tits are cryin’ out in pain And the chafing feeling, will leave you reeling, You’ll wish at times you just could go insane Blooooooooody nipples, you didn’t know you’d get chafed on the nips That monogrammed shirt, it sure made you hurt Isn’t it weird to see the blood coming from there? You know you’re a jogger thick and through And it’s too bad you didnt have a clue And when we say Yeeow! Ayipioeeay! We’re only sayin’ Damn that hurts like hell, Bloody nipples, Bloody nipples, go away! Blooooooooody nipples, where your tits are cryin’ out in pain And the chafing feeling, will leave you reeling, You’ll wish at times you just could go insane Blooooooooody nipples, you didn’t know you’d get real chafed up there That monogrammed shirt, it sure made you hurt Isn’t it weird to see the blood coming from there? You know you’re a jogger thick and through And it’s too bad you didnt have a clue And when we say Yeeow! Ayipioeeay! We’re only sayin’ Damn that hurts like hell, Bloody nipples, Bloody nipples, go away! Bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, blooody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, blooody You know you’re a jogger thick and through And it’s too bad you didnt have a clue And when we say Yeeow! Ayipioeeay! We’re only sayin’ Damn that hurts like hell, Bloody nipples, Bloody nipples, go away! B-L-O-O-O-D-Y Bloody nippleeeeeees! OK! * * * This has been an **Autolycus Production** ^^ ---
**Author:** ![LVgeogeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b19c9b/32.png) [@LVgeogeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVgeogeek)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2007, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087/40 "2007-06-08T04:30:32Z")
Try [BodyGlide](http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=86518&catid=10579&trx=PLST-0-SEARCH&trxp1=10579&trxp2=86518&trxp3=1&trxp4=0&btrx=BUY-PLST-0-SEARCH) to prevent chafing. It is a fantastic product. I use it when I ride my mountain bike and even when I wear skirts to prevent irritation/chafing from thigh rubbing. It is sold in most outdoors stores like REI and such. …right after I posted I saw that someone else suggested it. It smells a bit weird when first applied, but no one has ever said ‘wow you smell like ass’ when I use it while wearing skirts. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-miles-three-miles/407087.md?page=3)