# Three Musketeers reboot -- dreadful? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 2, 2011, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-musketeers-reboot-dreadful/598359 "2011-10-02T17:09:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-musketeers-reboot-dreadful/598359/41 "2011-10-03T16:05:22Z")
I was thinking it looked like _The League of Extraordinary Musketeers_. ---
**Author:** ![Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misery_Loves_Co)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-musketeers-reboot-dreadful/598359/42 "2011-10-03T17:25:06Z")
noooooooooooo! I can’t believe Matthew Macfadyen is starring in this bag of shit. _sigh_ Damn. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-musketeers-reboot-dreadful/598359/43 "2011-10-03T17:27:59Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > Agreed - except for the last part. Didn’t this happen in the second part of the 1973 version? Remember - Lester made one very long movie that was released in two parts. Maybe. I haven’t seen the film since 1973, so probably forgot that detail. ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-musketeers-reboot-dreadful/598359/44 "2011-10-04T02:01:40Z")
> [@runcible\_spoon](#): > > Don’t know about the whole monologue, but the bit about the executioner’s brother is accurate. Thank you. The monologue was written by my friends to explain that unfilmed part to the classmates. It did a lot to further illustrate how evil Milady was. ---
**Author:** ![runcible\_spoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc29f/32.png) [@runcible\_spoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/runcible_spoon)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-musketeers-reboot-dreadful/598359/45 "2011-10-04T02:10:43Z")
> [@Acid\_Lamp](#): > > snip. > > I KNEW we had common ground! 😃 > > This looks fun; you fuddy-duddys can go grouse somewhere else. This movie is cheese, eye candy, and possibly the first really good venture into steampunk territory. No, see, it looks like a really BAD venture into steampunk. Which is objectionable to me as a fan of steampunk. Dammit, just because it’s steampunk, doesn’t mean it can’t be GOOD. ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-musketeers-reboot-dreadful/598359/46 "2011-10-04T02:15:22Z")
> [@JoelUpchurch](#): > > It was released in the theater in the U.S. also. I saw the Four Musketeers in a theater. The Lester version was rather infamous because the actors sued the production company since they were paid for one movie and it was released as two movies. I’m glad they released it as two movies, since I can’t figure out how they could have released it as single movie without leaving some wonderful footage on the cutting room floor. Hmmm…Interesting. I hadn’t seen it until it got to TV (we couldn’t afford to take the whole family to a movie) and years later when I wanted to add it to my collection, the video-tape dealer read a description aloud from his dealer database, “Early 70’s made-for-TV version by Richard Lester? Charleton Heston, Raquel Welch, Richard Chamberlain – looks like a lot of well-known fine actors… ah! Looks like it’s ‘in suspension’ because they’re releasing that Disney version in a few weeks. Sorry; I can’t get it for you…” ---
**Author:** ![JoelUpchurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@JoelUpchurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoelUpchurch)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-musketeers-reboot-dreadful/598359/47 "2011-10-04T04:25:58Z")
> [@Grestarian](#): > > Hmmm…Interesting. > I hadn’t seen it until it got to TV (we couldn’t afford to take the whole family to a movie) and years later when I wanted to add it to my collection, the video-tape dealer read a description aloud from his dealer database, “Early 70’s made-for-TV version by Richard Lester? Charleton Heston, Raquel Welch, Richard Chamberlain – looks like a lot of well-known fine actors… ah! Looks like it’s ‘in suspension’ because they’re releasing that Disney version in a few weeks. Sorry; I can’t get it for you…” I bought it when they released it as a 2 DVD set. [http://www.amazon.com/Three-Musketeers-Four-Two-Movie-Collection/dp/B003BJODK0/ref=sr\_1\_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1317701299&sr=8-2](http://www.amazon.com/Three-Musketeers-Four-Two-Movie-Collection/dp/B003BJODK0/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1317701299&sr=8-2) It is also available on Netflix or I should say Quikster. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-musketeers-reboot-dreadful/598359/48 "2011-10-04T05:21:00Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > I’m sorry, I’d duty-bound to watch any movie that has airships in it. > > And c’mon - this is worth watching for Orlando Bloom’s hair alone. > > It really looks like a movie that does not, in any way, take itself seriously, and i like that. I’m with you. I like Orlando Bloom with his evil goatee. Besides, it’s a costume movie. I can never say no to a costume movie. Especially one that involves sword fights. ---
**Author:** ![Capitaine\_Zombie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@Capitaine\_Zombie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capitaine_Zombie)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-musketeers-reboot-dreadful/598359/49 "2011-10-04T05:22:52Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > It’s actally hilarious that these adaptations usually portray (as Dumas did) Richelieu as the secret evil mastermind undercutting the King, because the IRL Richelieu was basically a patriot who wanted a safe and secure France under a unified but generous monarchy. He actually pushed hard to get rid of many of the old feudal customs and problems, and had France continued under that path it might have avoided the Revolution or even become a Constitutional Monarchy. That’s not how he is portrayed by Dumas, IIRC. He starts as a conniver, that subtly influences the King, while the Musketeers “work” for the Queen (and de facto, for her British lover as well). It is made clear that he likes power but uses it for “the glory of France”. Towards the end of the book, with the La Rochelle siege, it is highly clear that the differences between Richelieu and the Musketeers kind of fade away. In latter books, he is increasingly defined as an asset for France. Basically, Richelieu is a French Grand Vizir. Maybe evil but actually doing the work the King should be doing if the King wasnt completely inept. I’m not talking about actual history but how he is portrayed. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-musketeers-reboot-dreadful/598359/50 "2011-10-04T09:07:06Z")
Hm, historically inaccurate, patently absurd, badly acted and ignores the source material on one one hand, and Milla Jovovich on the other. I’m in. I feel dirty, but I’m in. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-musketeers-reboot-dreadful/598359/51 "2011-10-04T15:56:01Z")
Regarding the Richard Lester movies. When he finished filming _The Three Musketeers_, he found that he had four hours worth of footage. He split it into two pieces: _The Three Musketeers: The Queen’s Diamonds_, released in 1973, and _The Four Musketeer’s: Milady’s Revenge_, released in 1974. (The actors had only been paid for one movie, so there was some litigation about salaries and royalties.) In 1989, he re-assembled most of the cast and filmed _The Return of the Musketeers_, very loosely based on Dumas’ novel _Twenty Years After_. IMDB indicates that it got a theatrical release in Europe, but I think it went straight to TV in the USA. The villain of the novel was Mordaunt, the bastard son of Milady and Rochefort. In the movie, Lester changed the character to “Justine deWinter”, and cast Kim Catrall in the role. (IMHO, it’s not as good as the first movie(s), but it’s still kind of entertaining. Unfortunately, several of the cast members have died, so Lester probably won’t get to do _The Man in the Iron Mask._) Regarding the sword-vs-musket issue: There were musketeers, and there were The King’s Musketeers. Ordinary musketeers served in the regular army. The King’s Musketeers were the king’s personal bodyguards. In order to join the King’s Musketeers, you either had to serve several years in a regular army regiment, or you had to distinguish yourself with some act of heroism in battle, or do some personal service for the royal family. In the book, D’Artagnan earns his place in the Musketeers at the Siege of La Rochelle, when he and the other three capture a bastion and hold it while eating breakfast, under heavy fire. In the movies, D’Artagnan is made a Musketeer for retrieving the Queen’s diamonds, and is already a Musketeer by the time of the La Rochelle battle in the second movie. Regardless of whether you were a musketeer or a Musketeer, you only carried your musket into battle. Back in Paris, you only needed your sword. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-musketeers-reboot-dreadful/598359/52 "2011-10-04T16:08:23Z")
> [@Grestarian](#): > > Okay, okay, quick answer: the three musketeers are the clique the protagonizt wants to join – kinda like the campus-dominating social group or the #1 Fraternity/sorority or – well, you get the picture. No, those three are the first ones he runs into and who, after some initial headbutting, kind of take him under their wing(s) - but by the time he gets to Paris, he already wanted to join the elite corps known as the Royal Musketeers. It wasn’t merely some sort of nickname of these three guys, nor did D’Artagnan interest in joining the Musketeers come from meeting them. Think of it as “rookie wants to be a SEAL. Rookie manages to butt heads with three guys within minutes of arriving to destination. Guys, who turn out to be SEALS, decide they like the little idiot, befriend him and help him screw his head on straightisher enough. Rookie eventualy manages to join the SEALS, yay.” ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-musketeers-reboot-dreadful/598359/53 "2011-10-04T22:59:52Z")
The Musketeers were one Royal Guard unit, they were the Kings escorts outside the palace. Inside the palace, the Royal guard were those dudes in argent & or with halberds, as seen in the Lester film. I think the Lester films were great- great acting, sets, costumes, moments of humor, and even moderately realistic. Even the Cardinal was portrayed as a patriot- unscrupulous, yes, but still a patriot. > **[Musketeers of the Guard](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Musketeers_of_the_Guard)** > > The Musketeers of the military household of the King of France (Mousquetaires de la maison militaire du roi de France), also known as the Musketeers of the Guard (French: Mousquetaires de la garde) or King's Musketeers (Mousquetaires du roi), were an elite fighting company of the military branch of the Maison du Roi, the royal household of the French monarchy. > They were founded in 1622 when Louis XIII furnished a company of light cavalry (the carabins, created by Louis' father Henry IV) with mus... ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-musketeers-reboot-dreadful/598359/54 "2011-10-05T02:54:41Z")
Whoa, **Attack** , you have Mila Jovocich on one of your hands? I’m jealous. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky_the_Wonder_Spirit)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-musketeers-reboot-dreadful/598359/55 "2011-10-05T05:06:10Z")
> [@Finagle](#): > > But at least they wouldn’t be pissing so loudly and voluminously on the grave of Alexandre Dumas, pere. Eh. Monsieur Dumas would only be sad that he hadn’t thought of the flame-throwers and airships first. The man wrote serial adventure stories - not sober, historically accurate chronicles. If he was around today he’d be collaborating with Michael Bay. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-musketeers-reboot-dreadful/598359/56 "2011-10-05T11:30:08Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Whoa, **Attack** , you have Mila Jovocich on one of your hands? I’m jealous. Can’t talk. Busy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-musketeers-reboot-dreadful/598359.md?page=2)