# Three reindeer walk into a bar... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 23, 2017, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108 "2017-12-23T03:53:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/1 "2017-12-23T03:53:19Z")
… The bartender says “Merry Christmas! What’ll you have?” The first reindeer is wearing a _really_ fake blinking red nose. (You can see the wires.) He struts up to the bar and says “I’ll just have a glass of water. I’m driving tonight!” The reindeer in the back, the third one, rolls his eyes. The second reindeer has his antlers wrapped in red cloth, with white fur trim on the edges. He swaggers up to the bar and says “I’ll have a double shot of whiskey. I need to keep these cheeks nice and red!” The reindeer in the back rolls his eyes. The third reindeer has a padded board tied across his shoulders, and a pair of skis along his side. He moves smoothly up to the bar and says “I’ll have a bottle of your best brandy!” The bartender says “That’s a lot! Why do you want so much?” The reindeer replies “One shot is to polish my runners, one shot is to shine up the seat, and the rest is for me.” The bartender says “That’s still a lot! Why do you want so much for yourself?” The reindeer replies “Have _you_ ever had to run around all night with a fat man riding on your shoulders?” ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/2 "2017-12-23T05:15:47Z")
I don’t get it. Santa sits in a sleigh. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/3 "2017-12-23T06:21:06Z")
I do and you should both be ashamed. ETA: Of yourselves, not of each other. Just to be clear. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/4 "2017-12-23T06:40:09Z")
A three-legged dog walks into a bar. Says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.” ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/5 "2017-12-23T06:44:26Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > I do and you should both be ashamed. Explain it for the hard of thinking? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/6 "2017-12-23T07:20:39Z")
Oh, wait…no…surely you don’t mean THAT? ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/7 "2017-12-23T07:43:24Z")
Great, now I’m the ONLY dumb one in the thread. Is it dirty? I might as well just admit for the record that it took me roughly seven years to get the “wears the soap” joke :o ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/8 "2017-12-23T07:49:19Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > Great, now I’m the ONLY dumb one in the thread. > > Is it dirty? I might as well just admit for the record that it took me roughly seven years to get the “wears the soap” joke > > :o No, I don’t get it either. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/9 "2017-12-23T07:53:29Z")
I am pretty sure I am wrong, I hope I am, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/10 "2017-12-23T07:54:58Z")
This better not turn into a 14k of g thing. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/11 "2017-12-23T08:03:28Z")
Yup, count me in with the dumb crew. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Shine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr_shine/32/464_2.png) [@Mr\_Shine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Shine)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/12 "2017-12-23T08:29:50Z")
Count me out of the dumb crew. Count anyone who thinks that “joke” has a punchline **in** ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/13 "2017-12-23T08:30:35Z")
Do we think the OP missed a vital part of the joke? Or are we all just dummies? ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/14 "2017-12-23T09:27:07Z")
I don’t get it, either! In this world, there are three kinds of people: those that can count, and those that can’t. What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are WANTED. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/15 "2017-12-23T09:51:05Z")
If I may … I get it, it’s just not a good joke because it doesn’t follow the first rule of comedy. There’s no twist. Here’s the same joke without dialog: > [@](#): > > Three reindeer walk into a bar. The first one thinks he’s Rudolph, the second one thinks he’s Santa and the third one thinks he’s the sleigh. Where’s the twist? ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/16 "2017-12-23T09:53:58Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I don’t get it. > Santa sits in a sleigh. Or on a reindeer pretending to be a sleigh. Hey **rjk** , did you think that one up all by yourself? ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/17 "2017-12-23T09:55:31Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > If I may … I get it, it’s just not a good joke because it doesn’t follow the first rule of comedy. There’s no twist. > > Here’s the same joke without dialog: > > > [@](#): > > > > Three reindeer walk into a bar. The first one thinks he’s Rudolph, the second one thinks he’s Santa and the third one thinks he’s the sleigh. > > Where’s the twist? ROFLMAO!!! not ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/18 "2017-12-23T10:11:35Z")
Three reindeer walk into a bar. You’d think the third one would have seen it. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/19 "2017-12-23T10:22:59Z")
It’s that bottle. If he’d stick with shots, he’d be fine. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2017, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108/20 "2017-12-23T10:58:49Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > If I may … I get it, it’s just not a good joke because it doesn’t follow the first rule of comedy. There’s no twist. > > Here’s the same joke without dialog: > > Where’s the twist? OK, so that I got, I just figured there must be something I’m missing because that really doesn’t amount to a joke at all… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-reindeer-walk-into-a-bar/805108.md?page=2)