# Three religious truths: **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 20, 2004, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-religious-truths/246141 "2004-05-20T06:49:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-religious-truths/246141/1 "2004-05-20T06:49:20Z")
Alternate title: “My Mom Sent Me This.” [ol] [li]Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. [/li][li]Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.[/li][li]Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.[/li][/ol] Anyone else care to share some gems? –SSgtBaloo ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-religious-truths/246141/2 "2004-05-20T15:58:02Z")
How 'bout… Hindus don’t have a cow. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-religious-truths/246141/3 "2004-05-20T16:15:26Z")
Episcopalians will greet each other enthusiastically in the liquor store and then go home and talk about the cheap quality of each other’s liquor and beer purchases. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-religious-truths/246141/4 "2004-05-20T16:29:33Z")
> [@SSgtBaloo](#): > > Alternate title: “My Mom Sent Me This.” > > [ol] > [li]Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. [/li][li]Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.[/li][li]Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.[/li][/ol] > > Anyone else care to share some gems? > > –SSgtBaloo Many people do not consider Catholics to be Christians. And I’m from Texas, where the Baptists will vote to keep their counties dry as long as they can weave and stagger into the polls. And why is it that when I hear someone say, “Holy shit!”, I get this immediate mental image of a giant set of hindquarters hanging down from the sky… ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-religious-truths/246141/5 "2004-05-20T17:14:14Z")
The pope is a Catholic. > [@Clothahump](#): > > And why is it that when I hear someone say, “Holy shit!”, I get this immediate mental image of a giant set of hindquarters hanging down from the sky… Thank you very much. Now I’ll feel nauseus whenever anyone says that… ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-religious-truths/246141/6 "2004-05-20T17:23:18Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > And why is it that when I hear someone say, “Holy shit!”, I get this immediate mental image of a giant set of hindquarters hanging down from the sky… So the earth is just God’s great big toilet? I always suspected something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-religious-truths/246141/7 "2004-05-21T00:28:35Z")
Baptists don’t make love standing up because people might think they’re dancing. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-religious-truths/246141/8 "2004-05-21T00:34:22Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Episcopalians will greet each other enthusiastically in the liquor store and then go home and talk about the cheap quality of each other’s liquor and beer purchases. 😃 Oh hell yes. When I was a kid it got to the point where we all recognized that we’d just sit through the service so that my Mom could gossip afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-religious-truths/246141/9 "2004-05-21T05:10:24Z")
I once heard Episcopalianism described as the religion where faith has been replaced by good manners.