# Three Short and Sweet Rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 21, 2001, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604 "2001-11-21T16:29:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604/41 "2001-11-22T04:22:56Z")
> [@](#): > > Please, oh please, oh please let me use this as a sig line. Pretty please? Sure, it’s yours. 🙂 > [@](#): > > I dunno, Diane, y’ever think folks spend that kind of time in the WC 'cuz they’re hiding from you? Yo zoony, considering I drink enough coffee and water each day to create enough pee to fill one of the great lakes, they’re totally hiding in the wrong place. > [@](#): > > I know I would be… What makes you think I would be looking for _you_ in the first place? I already know where your head is and believe me, I certainly ain’t going in after it. ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604/42 "2001-11-22T05:07:39Z")
I don’t have any anecdotes to add to this save for a small Public Information announcement: A girlie told me some time ago, after an occasion in her parents house, that the secret to a quiet dump is to line the whatsit thing with just a couple of sheets of paper prior to engaging in the deed. That way it doesn’t sound like an 800 gorilla has just jumped off the high board at the pool. You’re welcome. ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604/43 "2001-11-22T06:59:40Z")
I don’t blame the toilet users as much as the poor ventilation system in many building bathrooms. Ours smells like an outhouse most of the time. ---
**Author:** ![k.os](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@k.os](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k.os)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604/44 "2001-11-22T07:25:22Z")
At the office, we had (I don’t work there anymore, they probably still have it) a [TimeMist](http://www.timemist.com/index.php4) air freshener dispenser. You can set it to spray deodorizer every x minutes. The deodorizers actually smell nice and mask most odours. Most air fresheners (Glade and such) do not mask odours properly and the resulting smell is often worse than before. These sprays are extremely concentrated. The one they have is [this](http://www.timemist.com/products.php4?conditional=Metered+Aerosol+Air+Freshening+Systems) one, at the top of the page. Maybe you should mention it to your bosses. They are not expensive devices. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604/45 "2001-11-22T07:38:51Z")
Not really an office thing, but my husband doesn’t understand the concept of the bathroom fan or the courtesy flush! GRRRRRR, I have to remind me every single time. [Lucky Day] It’s like living with a 6 year-old [/Lucky Day] Though where I work, the bathroom as neither a vent system nor a fan. So it is constantly hot and stinky. Stinky? No, that word is not strong enough. It fucking reeks. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604/46 "2001-11-22T07:40:04Z")
That would be **him**. I have to remind **him** every single day. ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604/47 "2001-11-22T10:07:33Z")
There is a Legend in my new workplace of the Phantom Dumper. It would seem that last year the first floor was perpetually stunk out. They all blame the _other_ firm we share an office building with. But I have my suspicions. Hmm. 10:07am and bored. I went first thing this morning but I can’t _wait_ for my first office shit of the day. I shall dedicate it to you, **Diane**. pan ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604/48 "2001-11-22T13:54:20Z")
> [@](#): > > That way it doesn’t sound like an 800 gorilla has just jumped off the high board at the pool. HOLY COW L\_C!!! :eek: What does this girl eat? Bricks? > [@](#): > > I shall dedicate it to you, Diane. You just stop that now, you’re making me all teary eyed. ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604/49 "2001-11-22T13:58:43Z")
It wasn’t the girl, Diane. How’s the turkey doing and what’s that I can smell burning ? …🙂 Have a good one (day, not dump). ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604/50 "2001-11-22T14:11:11Z")
Ohhhhhhhhhhh, now I get it! :eek: 😉 Ain’t nothing burning here, mom is making the turkey. Now if you smell some green been casserole burning, you’ll know it’s me. You have a great day too and since you are waaaaaaaaay over there on the other side of the world, if the need arises have a great dump too. ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604/51 "2001-11-22T14:26:56Z")
Here y’all go: [using the bathroom at work](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=99434&pagenumber=2). When you’re all done relieving your mental bowels in the Pit, come check out some more sage musings on matters poopy. And FTR, this rant is just a little silly. I like it :). _Hrrrrnghghn!.. plop!_ ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604/52 "2001-11-22T16:09:35Z")
This is too funny. Perhaps we should all make a “dedication” to Diane today just out of sheer gratitude for starting this thread. I’ll be heading to work real soon here… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604/53 "2001-11-23T05:35:58Z")
I believe the OP has raised a number of serious issues here, and after careful consideration I feel it is my duty to say: poop. ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604/54 "2001-11-23T10:08:04Z")
Hmm. 10:07 again. I feel that it will soon be time for my first **Diane** of the day. Just thought that I’d share. pan ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604/55 "2001-11-23T11:15:54Z")
am I the only person that thought > [@](#): > > Unless it is an emergency, would you purdy please be so kind as to poop at home instead of the bathrooms at work was directed at one person? Am I right, Diane? L\_C, the operation you discribe above is whats commonly refered to as “Building a log raft”, and it really depends on the type of paper you use. If you use the sub standard paper that you would find in a pub or, perhaps, a greasy spoon, (paper so thin that you have to be careful that your finger dosent go through it) you have no chance. However, Im sure that Andrex luxury double pleated with Aloe Vera and Ginseng etc. would be ideal for the job. Remember, the thicker, the better it is at sound absorbancy. ---
**Author:** ![Spit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@Spit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spit)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604/56 "2001-11-23T11:32:43Z")
I am still reeling from the fact that you BARBARIC women actually “drop a load” as it were. I know none of MY girlfriends have EVER done something so nasty. * * * Plato? Aristotle? Socrates? Morons! ~And I know I wasn’t right, but it felt so good… -Better Than Ezra ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604/57 "2001-11-24T22:17:48Z")
> [@](#): > > Hmm. 10:07 again. I feel that it will soon be time for my first Diane of the day. Hardy har har, funny boy. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go scratch now. I seem to have come down with a bad case of the **kabbes**. Heh. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-short-and-sweet-rants/94604.md?page=2)