# Three Year Olds Don't Tell Funny Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 17, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198 "2003-07-17T17:47:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![rolandgunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@rolandgunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rolandgunslinger)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/21 "2003-07-18T00:45:08Z")
I remember a joke my daughter told me when she was 5 Daddy? What Heather? Whats brown and walks thru walls? I dont know sweetie, what? SPOOKIE DOOKIE! I still crack up thinking about that…Kids are funny. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/22 "2003-07-18T02:25:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan \* > \*\*Several Dopers have been subjected to my son’s surreal penguin jokes. \*\* I want to hear a surreal penguin joke! You can’t leave us hanging like that! ---
**Author:** ![LauraLittlePony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@LauraLittlePony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LauraLittlePony)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/23 "2003-07-18T02:31:21Z")
Am I the only one who laughed hysterically at the "un"funny ones and not at the ones that made sense? Surely I must not be. Sensical punchlines are no fun!! I would also like to request a surreal penguin joke. When I was a little girl, I read in some magazine (or I think my mom read it to me; I was about 3) this prank: You put a purse or wallet on the ground, tie a string to it, and when someone notices it and tries to pick it up, you pull it away. My parents were forced to chase my tiny, purple, plastic purse tied to a piece of green yarn down our front hallway and into my room for weeks. I have no idea why I thought they fell for it. Or maybe I didn’t and just enjoyed torturing them; that’s probably more likely. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/24 "2003-07-18T02:37:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rolandgunslinger \* > \*\*I remember a joke my daughter told me when she was 5 > Daddy? > What Heather? > Whats brown and walks thru walls? > I dont know sweetie, what? > SPOOKIE DOOKIE! > I still crack up thinking about that…Kids are funny. \*\* That had me spraying Iced tea on my monitor. 😃 Thanks for the laughs before I head off to beddybye guys. 😃 IDBB Oh… Knock knock? Who’s there? Jesus? Jesus who? Jesus who do you think it is? The pope?😃 ---
**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/25 "2003-07-18T03:10:08Z")
I think listening to little kids laugh is just the greatest thing. Especially giggling fits. I think the funniest thing about little kids is that they’ll usually laugh at real jokes, but probably 99% of the time they have no idea _why_ it’s funny. My family always used to watch this satirical comedy show here in Canada called _This Hour Has 22 Minutes_. Lots of political humor, etc… that my (then) five-year-old didn’t “get”. He always laughed, but I think it was more because the rest of us were laughing, so he figured it was supposed to funny. I still remember the first time he “got” a punchline from that show. It was a skit that was a take-off on an “ER” commercial. They had a mock-up of the opening credits, and then the skit started. This isn’t the script, but a general paraphrase/in the spirit of the original: > [@](#): > > Doctor (talking to patient): Well, er, I’d like to talk to you about your test results sir. They were, er, inconclusive. We’d like to do more, er, tests. > > Patient: Well, er, what happens now doc? > > Nurse: Let’s get you, er, set up in a room, shall we? It’s, er, this way… (points down hall) > > (etc… scene continues another few lines) > > Then they had a voice-over: “ER - tonight at 9pm” My family (me, my sister, my mom and dad) all laughed - we thought it was pretty funny. My little brother’s sitting on the floor in front of the TV and he sits there thinking quietly for about 20 seconds. Then he ERUPTS with laughter and giggling. I don’t think he stopped for at least 10 minutes. He actually GOT the joke. He’d just learned enough of the alphabet/phoenetics to understand it. I think it was a revelation to him. “Wow! So this is what a “punchline” is!” ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/26 "2003-07-18T03:36:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fretful Porpentine \* > \*\*I want to hear a surreal penguin joke! You can’t leave us hanging like that! \*\* “So, the penguin and the polar bear are walking down the street and then they see a crocodile and the crocodile EATS THEM except the penguin because it lives in the snow and so does the polar bear and then a dinosaur ate the crocodile! Hahahahahahaha!!!” For full effect, imagine this being yelled by four year old Cranky Jr. as he runs back and forth between the room you’re sitting in and the adjoining computer room. ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/27 "2003-07-18T05:37:04Z")
Ah, yes. Preschool humor. Nothing else is quite so… something. And giggle fits are indeed a joy to behold. The Skeezling’s current favorite: Knock knock! Who’s there? Car! Car who? Poopie! She slays herself. This is almost immediately followed by: Knock knock, Poopie here! Much giggling ensues. She’s not so much eliminated the punchline as she has eliminated the middle part of the gag. And the audience participation thing, for good measure. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/28 "2003-07-18T05:53:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Spectre of Pithecanthropus \* > \*\*My brother and I weren’t that little when we invented the Geography Game for long hours in the back seat on family car trips. The idea was to name a place, then the other person had to name one that began with the last letter of the first place. > > Of course it wasn’t really meant to be a game, but something that was totally inane for the purpose of engendering yux: > > SP: France. > Brother: Ecuador. > SP: Rome. > Brother: Ethiopia. > SP: Argentina. > Brother: Antarctica. > SP: Argentina. > Brother: Antartica > SP: Antarctica. > … and so on, with ensuing hilarity. > \*\* My brother and I invented this game also, but we had the all imporant rule that you couldn’t name the same place twice. So games would go like this: France! Ecuador! Rome! Ethiopia! Argentina! Alaska! Alabama! Asia! Arizona! Africa! Antarctica! Uhhhhhhhhh (When I was seven I looked at the ‘A’ page in an atlas and memorized a bunch of A places that didn’t also end in A. I started winning after that.) ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/29 "2003-07-18T07:31:11Z")
My 5-year-old cousin came up with the following hilarious gem: Me: Knock knock Him: Who cares!!! He also interjected the following remark, which I consider hilarious: Me (to his sister Miriam):What do they have in Miriamland? Miriam:Animals Him:ANIMALS??? WHAT IS THIS RUBBISH??? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/30 "2003-07-18T08:05:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by friedo \* > \*\*My brother and I invented this game also, but we had the all imporant rule that you couldn’t name the same place twice. So games would go like this: > > France! > Ecuador! > Rome! > Ethiopia! > Argentina! > Alaska! > Alabama! > Asia! > Arizona! > Africa! > Antarctica! > Uhhhhhhhhh > > (When I was seven I looked at the ‘A’ page in an atlas and memorized a bunch of A places that didn’t also end in A. I started winning after that.) \*\* Azerbaijan! ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/31 "2003-07-18T11:24:26Z")
Just when Soupo starts to “get” the whole joke concept, Katcha turns three. Yay. Why did the donkey cross the road? (“Cross the road” jokes are BIG right now.) I don’t know, why did the donkey cross the road? I don’t know! Hahahahahaha! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/32 "2003-07-18T11:43:48Z")
> [@](#): > > What’s a piggy mouse? Perhaps this may help… > [@](#): > > VYVYAN: It’s my mascot! > > GUARD: A pig? > > VYVYAN: No! > > GUARD: It is. > > VYVYAN: It’s not, it’s a ferret. A deformed ferret, I’ll grant you that. So severely deformed in fact that it looks a little bit like a pig. > > GUARD: Looks exactly like a pig. > > VYVYAN: Yes, well, it certainly has been remarked upon. In fact, just as John Hurt is known as the Elephant Man, Bacon Sandwich here is known as the Pig Ferret. > > GUARD: Bacon Sandwich? Funny name for a ferret, isn’t it? > > VYVYAN: Ha! And that’s where I had you fooled. Because it’s not a ferret, it’s a pig. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/33 "2003-07-18T11:56:46Z")
Well, in a moment of unwise hilarity, I made up a little ditty and sang it to my then 4 yo son: _Here on Planet Poopy_ _Everything is brown_ _Here on Planet Poopy_ _Everybody frowns_ _Here on Planet Poopy_ _Everything is stinky_ _Here on Planet Poopy_ _Everything goes [fart sound]_ So now we get to hear that song in the car, at restaurants, in the mall, etc. Plus, as a bonus, he taught it to the kids at preschool, who in turn delighted their parents with their earnest renderings of this classic tune… :o ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/34 "2003-07-18T12:18:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mangetout \* > \*\*Nearest she came to telling a real joke (and by accident) was: > Steph: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? > Me: I don’t know, Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? > Steph: Because it was dead. > > But I wonder if she just heard that one on TV or something; I feel sure I’ve heard it before. \*\* I’ve heard these before - this one is followed by: Me: Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? You: I don’t know, Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? Me: It was stapled to the first one. And then: Me: Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? You: I don’t know, Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? Me: It was also dead. And then: Me: Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? You: I don’t know, Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Me: It thought this was a game. You get the idea… best told at 4am or after lots of drinking… Grim ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/35 "2003-07-18T12:20:38Z")
Supposedly from my Nephew, this happened on a desert highway about 10 miles from Las Vegas: “Daddy, why’s the boro crossing the road?” “I don’t know…why’s the boro crossing the road?” “I don’t know either, but shouldn’t you be hitting the brakes?” ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/36 "2003-07-18T12:23:49Z")
Long car journeys with my 5-year-old brother. He made up a rather sinister song: _Orry arry orry arry Climbing up the wall. One, two, three, four [beat] And killed them all._ For about seven hours non-stop… Whereas my parents made a tape of my own three-year-old joke, still in their possession: \*Itsy bitsy spider Climbed up the DADDY! (Hee hee hee!!!) Humpty Dumpty Sat on a DADDY! (Heee haaa haaa!!!) London bridge is falling down Falling down, falling DADDY! (Hahahahahahaaaa!!!)\* ---
**Author:** ![fizzygoodmakefeelnice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8491ac/32.png) [@fizzygoodmakefeelnice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fizzygoodmakefeelnice)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/37 "2003-07-18T12:27:01Z")
I babysat two kids last night, one six and one ten. The ten year old presented his brother with an enormous carpet beater, stood him in the doorway then proceeded to point at random places on the carpet and scream “THERE!, THERE!, THERE!”. The little one would fling himself at wherever his big brother pointed, _smacking_ the carpet with the carpet beater and doing his fair share of screaming. This went on for quite a while, and had me in stitches. Eventually I asked the six year old what he was supposed to be hitting. He looked me straight in the eye and said “Carpet Beetles. Are you thick or something?”, along with the most scathing look imaginable. Then he went back to his thwacking and screaming. ---
**Author:** ![moejuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@moejuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejuck)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/38 "2003-07-18T12:34:42Z")
My son loves this one (he’s four, so maybe exempt): Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he got shot be Al Qaeda! He will laugh so hard at himself, which is what gets everyone else laughing. He also likes to start this one: Did you hear the one about the priest and the rabbi? No finish is neccesary when you hear this from a 4 year old. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/39 "2003-07-18T12:43:44Z")
> [@](#): > > Did you hear the one about the priest and the rabbi? “Better than ham, isn’t it?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2003, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/40 "2003-07-18T13:53:04Z")
The four 1/2 year old son of one of my friends told this little gem: Kid: Knock Knock! Adult: Who’s there? Kid: Mr. Monster. Adult: Mr. Monster who? Kid: He’ll burn your house down! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198.md?page=3)