# Three Year Olds Don't Tell Funny Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 17, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198 "2003-07-17T17:47:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![One\_Bad\_Kitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/51bf81/32.png) [@One\_Bad\_Kitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_Bad_Kitty)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/81 "2003-09-30T22:03:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MrMyth \* > \*\*I’ll be working the phrase ‘scared like cheese’ into conversation at some point today. I plan on dropping it like a bleu bomb. > > Welcome to the boards, **One Bad Kitty**. \*\* Thank you for the welcome! 😃 Her parents, my cousins, my sister and I have conspired to use it as much as possible to see if we can get it spread around. So far no luck, but now we have another conspirator! Excellent. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hokkaido\_Brit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d26b3c/32.png) [@Hokkaido\_Brit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hokkaido_Brit)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/82 "2003-09-30T23:09:17Z")
My now seven year old, when he was about two and a half, was playing at my parents house, just in front of the kitchen door, with his back to it. Suddenly Granny burst through the door and KidBrit jumped out of his skin. On landing, he said shakily, “Ooooh, I been Grannied!” This next one requires explanation that we are a Japanese Dad/English Mum family, and the kids are bilingual. The word for “willy” in Japanese is “chin-chin.” Imagine the utter ecstasy my six year old boy, just at the tits and bums stage, got from sitting next to a big Italian family in a restaurant in France. They all start toasting each other “Chin Chin” and it was loud. At our table, Kid was going into paroxysms of delight. ---
**Author:** ![tourbot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@tourbot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tourbot)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/83 "2003-10-01T00:20:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nanny Ogg \* > \*\*We’re all familiar with the Knock Knock - who’s there - Banana - Banana Who (repeat adnauseum) then - Orange - Orange who - Orange you glad I didn’t say Banana? joke right? > \*\* When my sons were 3 and 5, the 5 year old was telling knock knock jokes at the dinner table one night. The three year old would try to retell them, but clearly did not get the idea of the punchline. Eventually we got around to the Orange you glad one. So the three year old gives it a try: 3 year old: knock knock Me: who’s there? 3 yr. old: Banana Me: Banana who? 3 yr. old: Banana you glad I didn’t say orange? Nearly fell off my chair laughing. ---
**Author:** ![QuasiQubit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/9dc877/32.png) [@QuasiQubit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuasiQubit)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/84 "2003-10-01T01:17:21Z")
There are two penguins sitting in a bathtub, one says to the other; “Will you peel my orange for me?” to which the other replied; “What do I look like, a typwriter?” bwha ha ha ha ha he he ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/85 "2003-10-01T04:15:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Simple Dreamer \* > \*\* Don’t even get me started on boys and bodily function humor. :rolleyes: \*\* LOL, actually, I find the small boy/bathroom humor connection to be of immeasurable value when dealing with small boys in a sulky mood. Me: I’m sorry, but we’re not going to the movies after you behaved that way, we’re going home, maybe next time we’ll go (or some such horrendous announcement by me, the mom). My son (sulking): FINE! I don’t CARE!! (turns face to his side of the car and proceeds to harumph, grump, and throw himself about, letting his displeasure with me be known in NO uncertain terms, in fact in terms SO loud and annoying as to require EXTREME measures. ME (to my dog): Oh CanvasDOG, did you FARRRT?? Son: mmmmPPPH!! STop it!!! (lips twitch, but he bravely hangs on to his scowl) Me: oh, OH ICK, you DID, you DID fart, UGH, bad, bad girl Son: uuuunnnnMMMM (scowl is now quite lopsided, child struggles to hang on to his rightfully earned sulk) Me: OH HEAVENS, we’re going to have to stop, I think she’s about to pop a poo!! Son: dissolves into helpless laughter, sulk is pretty much destroyed, peace reigns. Oh, NEVER underestimate the power of potty humor and the small (to preteen, maybe beyond, he’s 13 and it still works pretty well, though he rarely sulks now) boy!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/86 "2003-10-01T04:53:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*Since this thread’s been resurrected, I bring you (also on tape) my brother’s 3-year-old version of My Country 'Tis of Thee: > > _My country 'tis a street > Swee land o hibudee > Of dee a sing. > Land where the pilgrims died > Land where the children died > From every mountain high > Le flea dumb ling._ \*\* Oh GOODNESS (wiping tears from eyes), now to me, THAT is what is funny to me, when a kid sings. To this day I can’t hear the “Presidents of the…” song “Lump” without hearing my then 3 year old son’s lyrics. Wump sat awone in a boggy mawsh Totawy emotionwess except for heuh Hawt Well, you get the idea. If this song comes on the radio these days everyone that knows him sings it the “old” way, much to his 13 year old embarrassment. Our family doesn’t ever eat chicken and dumplings. They’re chicken and DUNKlings, thanks to my little sister’s misinterpretation of the lyrics in the old folk song “She’ll Be Coming Around the Mountain”. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/87 "2003-10-01T05:15:21Z")
My current foster sibs are too little to know jokes yet, but the ones before that were great at 'em - or so they thought. They were 3 and 4 when they discovered knock-knock jokes. Knock knock! Who’s there? Corey! Corey who? COREY BANANA! Laugh. Knock knock! Who’s there? Corey! Corey who? COREY BANANA UNDERPANTS! Laugh. Knock knock! Who’s there? Corey! Corey who? COREY UNDERPANTS! For some reason, Corey thought bananas and underpants were the BESTEST THINGS EVER. His younger sister Stephanie had a more rounded sense of humor. Knock knock! Who’s there? Um… a cow. A cow who? A cow… and Stephie! Knock knock! Who’s there? Underpants! Underpants who? COREY UNDERPANTS! Corey himself would then yell at her for using his joke. Knock knock! Who’s there? Corey. Corey who? I’m not Corey! I’m Stephie! Mom started making tapes of the Wiggles show so we’d have something to listen to besides their knock-knock jokes when we were in the car. A twenty-minute drive to the grocery store has never been so long. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/88 "2003-10-01T05:38:13Z")
I think “Corey Banana Underpants” might well have been amongst the most-frequently googled phrases in the early eighties, if Google were around then. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/89 "2003-10-01T05:48:23Z")
I was born in 1983, and am flummoxed by your post, **Larry**. Please to explain? ---
**Author:** ![porkchop\_d\_clown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@porkchop\_d\_clown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porkchop_d_clown)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/90 "2003-10-01T12:46:05Z")
As a trained entertainment professional, there is one and only one joke I have come to fear and loathe. Unfortunately, I think children are _borne_ knowing it: Knock Knock, **Who’s there** , Banana. **Banana who?** Knock Knock, **Who’s there** , Banana. **Banana who?** (repeat until listener is ready to kill child. Finally…) Knock Knock, **Who’s there** , Orange. **Orange who?** , Orange you glad I didn’t say banana? I’ve seen kids as young as 3 **try** to tell this joke, and then forget the punchline… My personal fav is: Knock Knock, **Who’s there** , Wendy. **Wendy who?** , Wendy come looking for me, tell dem I had to go. ---
**Author:** ![porkchop\_d\_clown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@porkchop\_d\_clown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porkchop_d_clown)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/91 "2003-10-01T12:57:59Z")
On a more personal note: one of our long time family jokes is the old Airplane gag, “Shirley you must be joking!” followed by “I’m serious, and don’t call me Shirley!” when my son was 5, he was helping me in the work shop: **Hand me a screw, please.** Shirley, daddy. _(I look at him - did he just make a joke? So…)_ **Another screw, please.** Shirley, daddy. _(Hmmm… I think he is!)_ **Hand me another screw, please.** Shirley, daddy. **I’m serious, and don’t call me Shirley.** _(Son gets an extrodinarily hurt face and says…)_ But Daddy! It’s a joke! ---
**Author:** ![NaughtyMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c5a1d2/32.png) [@NaughtyMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NaughtyMe)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/92 "2003-10-01T13:13:49Z")
My 5 year old and 2.5 year old love this one - it is a Naughtyme household standard joke. Knock Knock Whos there? I dunnup I dunnup who? Errr you dirty little girl/boy - I thought it stank round here! My daughter has now got her favourite jokes, which are 1. Why did the boy throw his butter out of the window. Because he wanted to see a butter-fly! 2. How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? Footprints in your butter! ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/93 "2003-10-01T14:51:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by grimpixie \* > **You get the idea… best told at 4am or after lots of drinking…** Yeah, but who has the time to get their toddlers drunk and wait until 4 a.m.? \*\* ducking, running \*\* ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/94 "2003-10-01T14:51:53Z")
> [@](#): > > I was born in 1983, and am flummoxed by your post, Larry. Please to explain? How quickly you forget teen heartthrob, [Corey Feldman.](http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0000397/) I always thought he was gross but I knew many people who wanted to see his “banana” or have his underpants. ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/95 "2003-10-01T14:56:58Z")
> [@](#): > > I was born in 1983, and am flummoxed by your post, Larry. Please to explain? How quickly you forget teen heartthrob, [Corey Feldman.](http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0000397/) I always thought he was gross but I knew many people who wanted to see his “banana” or have his underpants. ---
**Author:** ![tourbot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@tourbot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tourbot)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/96 "2003-10-01T20:49:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dorkusmalorkusmafia \* > **How quickly you forget teen heartthrob, [Corey Feldman.](http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0000397/)** Or the even more popular (at the time) Corey Haim. I seem to recall there might’ve been another Corey or two around the same time, which, incidentally, was the latter half of the eighties. There was even an episode of the Simpsons which satirized the trend, wherein Lisa became addicted to calling the “Corey hotline”. ---
**Author:** ![LucysLogic101](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19b73/32.png) [@LucysLogic101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LucysLogic101)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/97 "2003-10-01T21:06:35Z")
when i was little and we were on the annual drive to the jersey shore, i told knock-knock jokes. my father made the mistake of telling me the Orange Knock knock. A: Knock knock B: who’s there A: banana B: banana who? A: knock knock B: who’s there A: banana B: banana who? ad naseum until the teller decides – A: knock knock B: _disgusted sigh_ who’s there A: orange B: orange who A: orange you glad i didnt say banana? well. this had me roaring. and i was hooked on knock knock jokes to the point that my parents were finally fed up, especially with the addition of my little brother. so they told my brother and I as we were driving to Jersey one year that “Knock-knock jokes are illegal in New Jersey.” So i was under the petrified impression for years that if I told a knock-knock joke after we got over the bridge, the cops would come roaring up along side us, pull us over and we’d all be in “big trouble” … i had no concept of what KIND of trouble, mind you, just that we’d all really be in for it because of my petty sense of humor. it worked for years. not even kidding. ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/98 "2003-10-01T22:13:19Z")
I remember telling the fruit joke. Only with me it would go on forever. Me: Knock knock Mom: Who’s there? Me: Orange! Mom: Orange who? Me: Knock knock Mom: Who’s there? Me: Strawberry! Mom: Strawberry who? Me: (short pause) Knock knock Mom: Who’s there Me: Grapefruit! Mom: Grapefruit who? Me: Knock knock … ad nauseum. I thought it was hilarious at the time, though I did have a nagging suspicion that this was not what jokes were supposed to be like. Oh, and the first _real_ joke I ever learned: Knock knock Who’s there? Who. Who who? What are you, an owl or something? Never got old :). ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/99 "2003-10-02T23:08:02Z")
When my younger sister was three or four, she also went through the “animal crossing the road joke” phase. This led to the family classic: Q: How did the frog cross the road without a head? A: It took a bus. And of course we’d all laugh at the absurdity, she’d think she told a really good joke, and would tell 20 permutations of the same nonsense. When my brother was the same age, he decided it was hilarious to come up to one of us (my sister and I are 10 and 15 years older) and whisper into our ear, (in a very dramatic voice) “_Violence! Romance!_” and then run away giggling. We never have figured out where he got that, but it was bizarre and hysterical. ---
**Author:** ![rhysean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ac8455/32.png) [@rhysean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhysean)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198/100 "2003-10-04T03:48:39Z")
My famous childhood joke… Knock knock Who’s there? Don Don who? Don Messer. Whereupon I woud mess up the jokee’s hair. [Don Messer=host of Canadian music/variety show in the 50 and 60’s…I guess I saw it in reruns as I was born in 69]. My 7 year old’s favourite joke: Why did the dinosaur cross the road? The chicken hadn’t been invented yet. [For extra super duper poo, pee, fart & underwear jokes, please see the Captain Underpants series of books, which are so up a kid’s alley, that they taught him to read at 41/2 or 5, when I refused to read them aloud anymore!] My 3 year old’s favourite joke…anything with the word ‘broccoli’ or ‘liver’…e.g.: Me: What would you like for dinner? 3yo: Broccoli cake! Hahahahaha Me: Let’s go to McDonald’s on the way home. 3yo: Nah, let’s go to McLiver. Hahahahaha [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/three-year-olds-dont-tell-funny-jokes/189198.md?page=6)