# Throwing in the towel **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 19, 2006, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607 "2006-01-19T03:54:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607/1 "2006-01-19T03:54:39Z")
We have two children, a six year old and a two year old. Our treadmill is down in the basement. I had to bring it in from the outside because the stairs down to the basement are those metal circular stairs. I’ve been running for about half an hour when I hear a sound and see my two year old falling headfirst down the gap between the circular stairs and the ceiling. She literally bounces from the ten foot fall. I jump off the treadmill screaming. She’s trying to get up and I’m telling her to lie still (but two year olds listen to good.) She wants me to pick her up and hug her. I don’t want her to move, because I’m worried something’s broken. Miraculously she is completely unharmed by the experience. Later, I examine the stairs which I had thought were babyproofed. For the life of me I cannot figure out how she managed to climb over the safety railing and fall. There’s just no way, and yet she did. I settle for rigging some netting in the gap that she fell through, though I realize that this is like closing the barn door after the horse got out. Being a two-year old, my daughter is learning, and is unlikely to repeat such a bad experience. She will find new and exciting ways to risk her safety and age her parents. Two weeks later I’m running on the treadmill when out of the corner of my eye, I see my baby again fall down the gap in the circular stairs and crash to the floor in a motionless heap. This time, I lose my balance trying to leap off the treadmill screaming, crash into the couch and knock over Irving the punching bag. Crawling desperately I pull myself over to my motionless daughter… Except it’s not my daughter. It’s a towel. You see, the washing machine is also in the basement, and my wife couldn’t be bothered to walk down the stairs so she just threw the towel over the railing and through the space in the netting I’d rigged. I hold the towel in shaking hands with eyes filled with tears, and yes, I know it sounds funny but I seriously considered spousal homicide. I carry the towel upstairs and confront my wife with it. “YOU!.. THIS TOWEL… YOU DROPPED IT DOWN STAIRS…” I hold the offending bit of linen out as the damning piece of evidence it is, wet with sweat from my run and shaking with adrenaline reaction. My wife simply stairs at me in genuine shock. She’s speechless. I grow angrier. She doesn’t seem to understand the gravity of the sin she has just committed. My six year old is sitting on the couch, eyes wide. She covers her mouth with her hands. “WELL!” I demand of my wife. “You’re scaring your daughter. Look at yourself.” “Don’t make this about me. I didn’t do this.” “Look at yourself!” My wife replies in a no nonsense tone, not to be ignored. “What?” I say, looking down. “Oh.” “Daddy, all your blood is coming out.” “Wow, yes, it is, isn’t it,” In my fall off the treadmill I have gashed my knee open, and it’s bleeding freely down my whole leg (looking a lot worse than it is, because of the sweat.) “Daddy, boo-boo” says my two year old. “Let’s fix daddy’s boo-boo,” says my wife, never one to miss an educational opportunity for the children while simultaneously derailing my righteous wrath. I spend the next fifteen minutes laying on the floor while my kids take turns dabbing my knee with wet paper towels, and spraying bactine all over my lower extremities. They then use enough Scooby doo bandaids, gauze and tape to mummify my leg. Later, I use my status as the head of the household to institute a firm “No throwing laundry down the stairs while Daddy is on the treadmill rule.” No exceptions. ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607/2 "2006-01-19T04:13:50Z")
Hey, at least you had a towel handy to sop up the blood. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607/3 "2006-01-19T04:17:24Z")
As a parent of twin three year old boys, I appreciate this post as only one of the walking wounded can. \ Hey, 'least you didn’t land on decaying roadkill this time. ---
**Author:** ![633squadron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/ee59a6/32.png) [@633squadron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/633squadron)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607/4 "2006-01-19T04:22:05Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > Later, I use my status as the head of the household to institute a firm “No throwing laundry down the stairs while Daddy is on the treadmill rule.” No exceptions. Yeah, right, and we’ll see how long _that_ rule lasts. Better hide all the towels, cuz your kids are **already** planning to start tossing them the minute they hear the treadmill going. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607/5 "2006-01-19T04:27:05Z")
Ah, domestic drama. May your runs in the basement be uneventful from this day on. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607/6 "2006-01-19T04:34:40Z")
I don’t think I quite understand. Did your daughter decide to follow the towel down? Did the towel somehow open up a huge hole in your netting? ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607/7 "2006-01-19T15:17:28Z")
**Scylla** has done it again - another masterfully told tale of amusement (from our point of view). Well done, sir. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607/8 "2006-01-19T15:41:27Z")
I see a pattern; the more you excercise, the more bodies come flying down the steps. _The less you excercise, the fewer bodies will come flying down the steps_. This’ll teach you to excercise. Nothing good will ever come of it. ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607/9 "2006-01-19T16:32:35Z")
You know, I have both a two-year-old and a metal circular staircase like **Scylla’s** , and when you add the two together, you get a constant, nagging fear. Can someone please invent a two-year-old that doesn’t like to climb stuff? Thanks ever so. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607/10 "2006-01-19T16:58:40Z")
When my daughter was two years old we lived across from an Ecole (school) in Geneva. She was almost three, but not old enough to attend school. She desperately yearned to do so. Along with the school was playground equipment. Europe hasn’t lawyered up like we have, so this playground equipment is more of the type reminiscent of my childhood than the kind that is more safe and sanitized for our protection. There is a slide, with rungs made of round metal bars leading up to the top of the slide. One day my daughter was playing on this playground equipment. On the umpteenth time up the ladder, her little feet came unstuck and somehow her body slipped through the rungs (which were spaced more for 7 year olds than (almost) 3 year olds. I leapt to my feet, superman in the making, to rescue my daughter, who had not the upperbody strength to hold on. Sadly, I could not move faster than a speeding bullet and her grasp slipped and she landed on the hard packed earth below, full layout position, supine. In that moment I was _certain_ that she had been killed or crippled for life. She cried, and was fairly shaken, but suffered no true injury, save perhaps a fear of heights that did not present itself until many years later and is now in remission. I feel your pain. There is no worse feeling than the helplessness of seeing your precious child cast into danger and knowing that there is nothing you can do to prevent it. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607/11 "2006-01-19T17:21:55Z")
Holy kee-rap! Glad your daughter was OK! There’s nothing that quite matches a moment like that for sheer heart-stopping terror. so babyproofing isn’t enough? now we have to _towelproof_ our houses? Argh! Fortunately our towels are of sufficient age and maturity (i.e. threadbareness) that we don’t worry too much about their safety 😃 ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607/12 "2006-01-19T17:35:27Z")
Well that wasn’t where I though this was going at all. When my kids were 6, 5 and 3, they all got sent to their rooms for one of those meltdown threeway fights they occassionally had. While their mother and I were discussing the need to teach them how to get along with each other, the three of them constructed a rope out of sheets, blankets and bathtowels. Then they took all the mattresses off the beds and carefully dropped them out the window. All three of them slid down the rope, the boys helping their baby sister down, and dropped the remaining three or four feet onto the mattresses. Unofrtunately for them, all they could think to do then was to run around the house and in the kitchen door, to announce, “We escaped!” ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2006, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607/13 "2006-01-19T20:33:52Z")
Now that’s a hoopy frood who _doesn’t_ know where his towel is. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607/14 "2006-01-20T00:36:03Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > Well that wasn’t where I though this was going at all. > > When my kids were 6, 5 and 3, they all got sent to their rooms for one of those meltdown threeway fights they occassionally had. While their mother and I were discussing the need to teach them how to get along with each other, the three of them constructed a rope out of sheets, blankets and bathtowels. Then they took all the mattresses off the beds and carefully dropped them out the window. All three of them slid down the rope, the boys helping their baby sister down, and dropped the remaining three or four feet onto the mattresses. Unofrtunately for them, all they could think to do then was to run around the house and in the kitchen door, to announce, “We escaped!” This is a fantastic story, and has made my day. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607/15 "2006-01-20T00:48:52Z")
**Scylla** I’m sure by now you’ve noticed how much we love it when the fabric of your life gets all wrinkled. I’m glad your daughter (that’s Bug, right?) is ok. I’m also loving this mental image of the big tough macho man laying there letting his daughters “fix his boo boo” with Scooby Doo bandages. **saoirse** great story. I can imagine the reaction of your wife and you. I’m sure it was somewhere between wanting to fall down laughing and rage. “We escaped!” **bwahaahaahaahaahaa!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607/16 "2006-01-20T02:25:49Z")
We also happen to be the hyperbole family. “You need to clean up your toys,” I will say to my six year old. “I’m too tired,” she’ll reply. “Do it now or I will smash you in the head with a shovel,” I’ll tell her. “I don’t care.” “You will care, because once your head is knocked open there won’t be anything holding your brains in and then if you bend over they’ll fall onto the floor and the dog will eat them and then you won’t have any brains left.” “Really?” “Really.” Sometimes we get strange looks in public. ---
**Author:** ![kaiwik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaiwik/32/3978_2.png) [@kaiwik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaiwik)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607/17 "2006-01-20T03:30:59Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > We also happen to be the hyperbole family. > > “You need to clean up your toys,” I will say to my six year old. > > “I’m too tired,” she’ll reply. > > “Do it now or I will smash you in the head with a shovel,” I’ll tell her. > > “I don’t care.” > “You will care, because once your head is knocked open there won’t be anything holding your brains in and then if you bend over they’ll fall onto the floor and the dog will eat them and then you won’t have any brains left.” > > “Really?” > “Really.” > Sometimes we get strange looks in public. It is _so_ comforting to know that I am not the only parent to have this sort of discourse with my children! Thank God for the resiliancy of small children. I know that feeling though, when you believe that you have just witnessed the severe injury/possible death of your child. I have the grey hair to prove it, too. **saoirse** you have some Thinking kids there! I have a few who have pulled similar escapades, and they all seem to be very intelligent and have great sesnes of humor! Good luck, they are gonna take you on a long, bumpy ride! ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/throwing-in-the-towel/340607/18 "2006-01-20T13:18:39Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > We also happen to be the hyperbole family. > > Sometimes we get strange looks in public. Ha, I’ve got three little ones myself (6, 4, 3) and I like to use the term, “I’ll tear your face off”, Or, “How would you like your face ripped off?” Anything involving the removal of the face seems to work. The kids just laugh, but they usually do what is being asked of them because they know the next step in the discipline process is the removal of limbs.