# Thumbs up if you need a wank right now **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 25, 2016, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141 "2016-02-25T22:14:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Stupidtoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@Stupidtoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stupidtoy)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/1 "2016-02-25T22:14:19Z")
Hi I am going to be joining this board to talk to you all because I need some friends online, well i have lots of friends in real life but on the internet im kinda lacking. if anyone wants to get a little personal then you can always drop me a pm. I’m making a blog called “you asked, I answered” my name in real life is reece and i am 16 yrs old. I like dance music, which is what I just been watching because I got reminded of some experiences last night. Peace out guys 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/2 "2016-02-25T22:16:51Z")
Reported for forum change. ---
**Author:** ![Stupidtoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@Stupidtoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stupidtoy)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/3 "2016-02-25T22:18:52Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Reported for forum change. Huh? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/4 "2016-02-25T22:49:53Z")
Well, that does seem to be a question. ---
**Author:** ![desertmonk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@desertmonk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/desertmonk)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/5 "2016-02-25T22:51:27Z")
> [@Stupidtoy](#): > > Huh? You violated a number of board rules with your first post. Also, General Questions is for questions with factual answers. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/6 "2016-02-25T23:05:38Z")
Well, I’ve just PM’d young master Stupid. He’s my wife now. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/7 "2016-02-25T23:06:42Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Well, that does seem to be a question. I don’t see how. There’s not a single question mark in the whole teensy tiny wall of text, nor is there any evident place where one should have been but for the (hypothetical) negligent punctuation skills of the OP. Seems friendly enough, but I suspect has a lot to learn about this place’s board culture. :dubious: I hope the regulars will be kind. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/8 "2016-02-25T23:08:44Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > Well, I’ve just PM’d young master Stupid. He’s my wife now. Most of those words are English, but I swear they say absolutely nothing when strung together in that order. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/9 "2016-02-25T23:14:12Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > I don’t see how. There’s not a single question mark in the whole teensy tiny wall of text, nor is there any evident place where one should have been but for the (hypothetical) negligent punctuation skills of the OP. Thread title’s kind of a poll, really… ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/10 "2016-02-25T23:15:58Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > Most of those words are English, but I swear they say absolutely nothing when strung together in that order. 😕 “PM’d” is “private messaged”. It’s a feature of vBulletin, and the method of response requested by the originator of this thread. I’m not sure how you can be unclear on the rest of it. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/11 "2016-02-25T23:24:59Z")
Methinks **Stupidtoy** is Chris Hanson. ---
**Author:** ![Stupidtoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@Stupidtoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stupidtoy)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/12 "2016-02-25T23:31:19Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > Methinks **Stupidtoy** is Chris Hanson. sorrry i need to read the rules ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/13 "2016-02-25T23:31:24Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > “PM’d” is “private messaged”. It’s a feature of vBulletin, and the method of response requested by the originator of this thread. I’m not sure how you can be unclear on the rest of it. I’m still unclear on the assertion that you married OP. (Frankly, the only part of your post I could make sense of was the part that wasn’t English. The bit about PM’ing.) ---
**Author:** ![Stupidtoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@Stupidtoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stupidtoy)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/14 "2016-02-25T23:34:13Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > Methinks **Stupidtoy** is Chris Hanson. No no thats impossible chris hanson deals with pedos and I hate those sort of people. i am too confident to get kidnapped. my mom lets me go out when its dark when its a town night. I will protect my women. ---
**Author:** ![desertmonk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@desertmonk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/desertmonk)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/15 "2016-02-25T23:37:33Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > I’m still unclear on the assertion that you married OP. (Frankly, the only part of your post I could make sense of was the part that wasn’t English. The bit about PM’ing.) It was a joke. I enjoyed it. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/16 "2016-02-25T23:47:44Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > I’m still unclear on the assertion that you married OP. The courtship pretty much went like this: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/PzU_tkhfUvM/maxresdefault.jpg "You're My Wife Now") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzU_tkhfUvM) ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/17 "2016-02-25T23:48:03Z")
> [@desertmonk](#): > > It was a joke. I enjoyed it. It was? Do you have a citation to support that assertion? 😕 Well, assuming it was a joke, I’m not sure a 16-year old boy would make an appropriate wife anywhere. Or a legal one, more importantly. So, not the kind of thing sane people joke about. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/18 "2016-02-25T23:58:41Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > It was? Do you have a citation to support that assertion? 😕 > > Well, assuming it was a joke, I’m not sure a 16-year old boy would make an appropriate wife anywhere. Or a legal one, more importantly. So, not the kind of thing sane people joke about. Wait, there is SANE people here? I’m in the wrong spot.:smack: ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2016, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/thumbs-up-if-you-need-a-wank-right-now/747141/19 "2016-02-26T00:23:23Z")
Read the rules, read some threads. Post after you learn. Closing this thread. **samclem** , moderator