# Tiger Woods injured **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [November 27, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163 "2009-11-27T19:39:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/141 "2009-11-30T21:15:31Z")
Makes me wonder… is there a public figure out there who consistently gets it right? Granted, one hopes that you don’t have emerging scandal after emerging scandal on a regular basis, but anyone with an iota of common sense would probably vouch for some level of transparency and hope that keeps the wolves at bay. I certainly believe that it is a matter of protecting his wife - she could be in serious trouble for battery and/or domestic abuse if she indeed is responsible for beating him up. ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/142 "2009-11-30T21:23:10Z")
> [@Stink Fish Pot](#): > > **Pure speculation!** - Fight between Tiger and wife. He bolts out of house with wife chasing him with golf club. He jumps into SUV (why not a Buick Rendevous? CHEATER!), floors it, swerves to miss the birdie (mentioned above), runs \*\*\*over \*\*\*the hydrant (impressive) and finds the woods (ok, the tree). Wife breaks open window of SUV with her club, broken glass cuts Tiger’s lips, she tattoos Tiger in the brain with another swing to finish fight (she wins!), and then pulls him out of the SUV to the ground for photo op (and to cover her butt). > > Charges pending? Not wearing a seat belt (no time, he was being chased), PITA fine over tree damage (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arborvitae). I just want to remind you all of how close my goofball explanation of this situation was after I first heard about it. (and all I heard about was the accident, I had no knowledge of his alleged affair). Truth is stranger than fiction! ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/143 "2009-11-30T21:23:36Z")
> [@Hippy\_Hollow](#): > > I certainly believe that it is a matter of protecting his wife - she could be in serious trouble for battery and/or domestic abuse if she indeed is responsible for beating him up. If this whole thing was staged to explain away his injuries I have to ask what the hell they were thinking So much could go wrong. There could have been a witness. He could have really hurt himself. The cops may not have bought his semi-conscious act. Someone might ask why his wife, when hearing the accident from quite a ways away, thought to grab a golf club as she left the house to investigate. And most important, what club was it? ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/144 "2009-11-30T21:28:05Z")
> [@Hippy\_Hollow](#): > > Makes me wonder… is there a public figure out there who consistently gets it right? Granted, one hopes that you don’t have emerging scandal after emerging scandal on a regular basis, but anyone with an iota of common sense would probably vouch for some level of transparency and hope that keeps the wolves at bay. > > I certainly believe that it is a matter of protecting his wife - she could be in serious trouble for battery and/or domestic abuse if she indeed is responsible for beating him up. That’s exactly what I think his motive is. ---
**Author:** ![enomaj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/145 "2009-11-30T21:30:22Z")
Cover story in USA Today: Tiger, Tiger Woods y’all. Not the Seattle police shootings. Of course I read it, so there’s that. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/146 "2009-11-30T21:32:21Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > If this whole thing was staged to explain away his injuries I have to ask what the hell they were thinking So much could go wrong. There could have been a witness. He could have really hurt himself. The cops may not have bought his semi-conscious act. Someone might ask why his wife, when hearing the accident from quite a ways away, thought to grab a golf club as she left the house to investigate. And most important, what club was it? Not staged. Way I think it may have happened, she beat him up in the house, scratching up his face. He runs out of the house to get away, gets in his car and prepares to drive off. Still raging, she gets a golf club and smashes the window, which fucks up his driving - and he crashes, knocking himself out a bit. The seriousness of this freaks her out of her rage and she gets scared she’s really hurt or killed him, and she pulls him out. Cops arrive and Tiger decides that he doesn’t want his wife hauled off to jail, so he stays mum. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/147 "2009-11-30T21:33:08Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > And most important, what club was it? Ass wedge? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/148 "2009-11-30T21:38:19Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Not staged. Way I think it may have happened, she beat him up in the house, scratching up his face. Perhaps she hurt him. I don’t see her beating him up. He’s a pretty solid dude. I just don’t see him running away in fear of further beatings. > [@](#): > > He runs out of the house to get away, gets in his car and prepares to drive off. Still raging, she gets a golf club and smashes the window, which fucks up his driving - and he crashes, knocking himself out a bit. She ran down the driveway as fast as he drove down it? That’s a long driveway. And the window was the rear window. Not sure how that would affect his driving. > [@](#): > > The seriousness of this freaks her out of her rage and she gets scared she’s really hurt or killed him, and she pulls him out. Cops arrive and Tiger decides that he doesn’t want his wife hauled off to jail, so he stays mum. And fakes unconsciousness? I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/149 "2009-11-30T21:43:03Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Not staged. Way I think it may have happened, she beat him up in the house, scratching up his face. He runs out of the house to get away, gets in his car and prepares to drive off. Still raging, she gets a golf club and smashes the window, which fucks up his driving - and he crashes, knocking himself out a bit. The seriousness of this freaks her out of her rage and she gets scared she’s really hurt or killed him, and she pulls him out. Cops arrive and Tiger decides that he doesn’t want his wife hauled off to jail, so he stays mum. You know, the very first time I heard about this back on Friday, this is exactly what I thought. Or something very similar. Which came first, the golf club or the car crash? However, I still think he’s entitled to his privacy as long as there were no laws broken. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/150 "2009-11-30T21:44:22Z")
[QUOTE=Hippy Hollow;11833605He wears it, you like him, so you wear it too. People buy his stuff because they feel a connection to him.[/QUOTE] That seems odd to me, but IANASP. I am not a sports person. ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/151 "2009-11-30T21:48:43Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > That seems odd to me, but IANASP. > > I am not a sports person. Fair enough, but surely you are more inclined to trust a product or buy it if someone you admire uses it? If Alton Brown advocates a certain brand of meat thermometer (Polder) you can bet I am going to get one. Same thing, whether it’s a golfer, TV chef, politician, etc. I have a friend who is a pretty average golfer (so he tells me) and he bought the Tiger Woods clubs that Nike makes. Hell, I actually know the Nike rep for this region responsible for distributing them. I should ask him how’s business at the moment. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/152 "2009-11-30T21:50:10Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Perhaps she hurt him. I don’t see her beating him up. He’s a pretty solid dude. I just don’t see him running away in fear of further beatings. > > She ran down the driveway as fast as he drove down it? That’s a long driveway. And the window was the rear window. Not sure how that would affect his driving. > And fakes unconsciousness? I don’t know. My WAGs: He left to get away from flipping-out, hitting-him wife, maybe figuring he’d give her time to cool off or just get out before he tried to stop her escalating attacks and she counter-accuses him of abuse. He gets into the car, maybe she’s yelling or glaring at him from the door. He slowly backs/drives down the driveway - it is way early in the morning and he doesn’t want the neighbors to hear him peeling out. She goes and gets a sturdy golf club, runs after him while he’s turning the car around, and beats on the back windows. He freaks because he didn’t know she was there, turns around to see what’s up, and maybe jerks the wheel. Car goes into a hydrant and tree, low-speed impact doesn’t set off the airbags. (I once dented someone’s fender and didn’t set them off, but the seatbelts did tighten up.) He maybe hits his temple or something on the wheel or interior of the car, probably wasn’t belted in, he’s stunned and not coherent. Meanwhile she freaks, gets him out of the car, and they realize how this is going to look. He may have acted more out of it than was the reality. You could add the bonus “Ambien made him not really know what he was doing” explanation on top of it - as reality or a cover story - and it’d work either way. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/153 "2009-11-30T21:52:28Z")
**Ferret Herder** , That makes a lot more sense. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/154 "2009-11-30T21:54:49Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Not staged. Way I think it may have happened, she beat him up in the house, scratching up his face. He runs out of the house to get away, gets in his car and prepares to drive off. Still raging, she gets a golf club and smashes the window, which fucks up his driving - and he crashes, knocking himself out a bit. The seriousness of this freaks her out of her rage and she gets scared she’s really hurt or killed him, and she pulls him out. Cops arrive and Tiger decides that he doesn’t want his wife hauled off to jail, so he stays mum. This is basically what I think happened. And I think the consequences of Elin’s actions are much worse for her than your typical US citizen, since she is a resident alien. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/155 "2009-11-30T22:01:47Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > And most important, what club was it? A rescue club. ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/156 "2009-11-30T22:36:21Z")
I’ve just heard my first joke deriving from this: Q: What’s the difference between an SUV and a golf ball? A: Tiger Woods has no trouble driving a golf ball 300 yards. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/157 "2009-11-30T22:38:15Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > A rescue club. However, if the club was indeed used on Mr. Woods before breaking the window, I’d bet it was a mashie. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/158 "2009-11-30T22:50:43Z")
I bet his wife could drive a ball (or two 😉 ) a hundred yards or more with the right club. 😛 :smack: It makes me hurt thinking about it. ---
**Author:** ![DSYoungEsq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/159 "2009-11-30T22:52:57Z")
> [@Xema](#): > > I’ve just heard my first joke deriving from this: > > Q: What’s the difference between an SUV and a golf ball? > > A: Tiger Woods has no trouble driving a golf ball 300 yards. Without hitting the trees. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cmosdes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@cmosdes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmosdes)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163/160 "2009-11-30T23:02:21Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > I would not want my boiss hauling me in, but then again I am not paid for my image and reputation to sell products. Of course Tiger can refuse, but I think his sponsors have a right to demand an explanation if he wishes to keep receiving millions of dollars from them. They can demand anything they want. Doesn’t mean they are entitled to it. Regardless of what the sponsors know, they will still need to decide what to do with Tiger based on public perception. I really doubt the sponsors care one way or another what really happened. I think all they care about is how it is perceived. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tiger-woods-injured/519163.md?page=9)