# Time for an unbirthday party

**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 13, 2000, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403 "2000-07-13T05:22:09Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/1 "2000-07-13T05:22:09Z")

</div>

Okay, Tasha[that’s me] misses her friends b/c most of them went away for the summer and needs some cheering up now that she’s got a sucky job that pays dick and takes up her weekends. I decided that I’ll throw myself an unbirthday party. Okay, let’s see: I’ve got a twister game, a fully stocked bar, cinnamon oil, two pools of slightly congealed lime jello, a goat, cucumbers and a box of aluminum shaped into feathers. Bring whatever else you want and come on in.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/2 "2000-07-13T05:23:52Z")

</div>

Do we _all_ get to speak in the third person too? Yippee!

Demo gives ya a big hug and wishes you a _very_ merry unbirthday! Cheer up kiddo!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/3 "2000-07-13T05:27:02Z")

</div>

Thanks demo. I just need to get some more fun in somewhere, and I never saw anyone have an unbirthday party on here, so I decided to do something new.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/4 "2000-07-13T05:31:13Z")

</div>

A most awesome idea! (Any excuse for a party…) Happy Unbirthday. I’ll bring something chocolate… (Hope things get less sucky for you…)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/5 "2000-07-13T06:01:59Z")

</div>

Happy Unbirthday! _hugs_ Hope things get better… _dances around like the Mad Hatter on drugs singing the whole Happy Unbirthday song which she can’t quite remember how it goes and hands over a few helium filled balloons which the helium has half worn off so they float only very little_

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![JBurton99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ea5d25/32.png) [@JBurton99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBurton99)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/6 "2000-07-13T06:20:50Z")

</div>

Happy Un-Birthday!!!

:: tosses a water balloon at ssskuggiii ::

Hey hmm, somebody wanna keep Topaz away from the rest of the helium? Sounds like she mighta had a bit too much.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/7 "2000-07-13T06:37:39Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by TopazAntares \*  
> \*\*Happy Unbirthday! _hugs_ Hope things get better… _dances around like the Mad Hatter on drugs singing the whole Happy Unbirthday song which she can’t quite remember how it goes and hands over a few helium filled balloons which the helium has half worn off so they float only very little_ \*\*

Well, if you’re on drugs, screw the helium! Fill those baloons with N2O!!! 😉

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/8 "2000-07-13T06:51:25Z")

</div>

Mmmmmm… goat!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/9 "2000-07-13T07:08:41Z")

</div>

No no no I said

> [@](#):
>
> dances around **like** the Mad Hatter on drugs

Seee? I said LIKE! I’m not actually on drugs… the closest I ever came to being on drugs would be when I took T3 when I had my wisdom teeth removed… I think it has to do with the heat (its HOT in this house… dumb thing likes to keep the heat in despite open windows and fans) and being tired… I’m gonna hop to bed soon actually…

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/10 "2000-07-13T07:12:21Z")

</div>

Chief, I know it’s been a while since you’ve been with a woman, but don’t scare the livestock, okay? That’s for the ARMY to do. _grins_

As for me…where’s that bar? Think I need me some tequila…

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/11 "2000-07-13T10:53:27Z")

</div>

Unhappy birthday!

I mean…happy unbirthday.

I didn’t punch that doggie…or that goat.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/12 "2000-07-13T11:46:03Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by TopazAntares \*  
> \*\*Happy Unbirthday! _hugs_ Hope things get better… _dances around like the Mad Hatter on drugs singing the whole Happy Unbirthday song which she can’t quite remember how it goes and hands over a few helium filled balloons which the helium has half worn off so they float only very little_ \*\*

```
Keep the helium. We'll be swallowing it when we're singing, like my brother's bachelor party. (The restaurant had just had a kid's party, so, when we were leaving after dinner we swallowed the He and left singing the theme to "Gilligan's Island". And that was our FIRST stop. And yes, it was my idea)
```

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![Tally-Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@Tally-Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tally-Ho)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/13 "2000-07-13T12:56:38Z")

</div>

A very merry Unbirthday to you!  
_To me?_  
To you!  
A very merry Unbirthday for you! (a great big cake appears)  
_For me?_  
For you!  
Now blow the candles out my dear and may your wish come true!  
A very merry Unbirthday tooo yooouuu!  
😃  
(It’s my unbirthday too!)

chrisbar

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![Megling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/54ee81/32.png) [@Megling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Megling)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/14 "2000-07-13T13:28:43Z")

</div>

Ssskuggii, I feel your pain. Summer time, out of school, friends gone, crap job, no money, yahoo. It’s time to get drunk and play pictionary. And if anyone’s ever tried to play pictionary drunk, you know exactly what I mean.

Now who’s up for a little jello wresting? ::Wades into green goo in tiny little bikini:: Who’s gonna take me on?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/15 "2000-07-13T13:38:20Z")

</div>

Happy unbirthday ssskuggiii. It’s my unbirthday to. And to celebrate, I vote we all drink till the goat looks good. And we need to do something about Chief Scott. He’s got way too much of a head start on us in that department.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/16 "2000-07-13T14:34:37Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \*  
> \*\*Mmmmmm… goat! \*\*

Okay, for starters, \*\* leave the goat alone!\*\* I think I’ll wrestle you, Megling, just be careful about tugging on my bikini. It has a tendency to come undone easily. But first let me get a beer or two [or five].

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![Megling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/54ee81/32.png) [@Megling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Megling)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/17 "2000-07-13T14:42:19Z")

</div>

Oh dear, ths sounds like the makings of a bad porno.

Hot chick 1: “Oh no, my bikini top has fallen off and my young, nubile breasts are exposed. Whatever will I do now?”

Hot chick 2: “I know. Since we are both partially exposed, let’s go at it like greased weasels and hope some hairy, stocky man shows up soon so we can revel in more sin than a truckload of televangelists.”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/18 "2000-07-13T14:56:33Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Megling \*  
> \*\*let’s go at it like greased weasels and hope some hairy, stocky man shows up soon so we can revel in more sin than a truckload of televangelists." \*\*

Umm, did someone call me?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/19 "2000-07-13T15:30:14Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> she’s got a sucky job that pays dick and takes up her weekends

I think the answer to your problem lies in just rearranging these words a bit. ChiefScott, do you wanna volunteer as the subject of her vocational re-training program?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

### Author: ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2000, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403/20 "2000-07-13T16:44:37Z")

</div>

Tasha said:

" . . . she’s got a sucky job that pays dick and takes up her weekends."

Damn you UncleBeer for beating me to it!

Tasha, honey, if you just rearrange the words in this sentence I don’t think you’ll be missing any of your friends … .

That bit about the bikini makes sense . . . ::ducking goat which Tasha has just thrown at him:: but try to keep it on until our appointment with Mr. Jacuzzi later on, mmkay?

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-an-unbirthday-party/25403.md?page=2)
