# Time for another round of "Amusing / Really Strange Real Names" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 23, 2004, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013 "2004-03-23T22:50:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/1 "2004-03-23T22:50:07Z")
I don’t think we’ve had one of these in a while… so here we go again! 😃 **Some Unusual Names I’ve Encountered In Real Life** Sylver / Golden (a sister-brother combo I know at church) Jack Wang (a high school classmate of Jon and Eric’s) Autumn Leaf Wood (a girl who used to go to my high school) Mimosa / Tilia / Ficus (two sisters and a brother who used to go to my church; their dad was a botanist, which explained things) Citrus (the botanist named him at birth) Poppy Booth (a guy who used to go to my high school) Diamond / Majestic (a sibling combo) These names are from _The Odd Index_ by Stephen J. Spignesi: **87 People Named for Body Parts, Diseases, Medications, Cosmetics, or Something Having to Do with Sex** A. Pimple Abolena Sweat Ammonia Angina Keys Appendicitis Aspriri Autopsy Bernard Nicewanger Blanch Kidney Bobby Joe Gothard Castor Oil Charlie Hymen Chlorine Chloroform Citroniella Constance Hiccup Constipation Cornelia Tonsil Depression Diaphragm Dichloramentine Dick Wacker Digesta Diptheria Distemper Doloris Puke Douche Duncas Hymen Edward Vagina Esophagus Exczema Fallopian Flu Fred Dilldoe Fuk Eyw Gladys Pantzeroff Glycine Granuloma Halitosis Hang Nails Hernia Hyman Pleasure I.P. Blood Iodine Iona Outhouse Kotex Larry Ovary Latrina Lee Lung Lemaza Hotballs Listerine Maria Piles Meconium Meninges Menses Morphine Mr. Balls Mr. Fuck Nancy Nipples Nausaeous Nausea Ophelia Rottincrotch Penis Placenta Placenta Previa Poopie Positive Wasserman Pregmancy Pyelitis Rectum Sal Hepatica Saline Saliva Brown Smallpox Dingle Steve Spleen Syphilis Thomas Headache Thomas Measles Thyroid Toilet Preparations Twila Anus Urine Uvula Vagina Valve Vaseline Vomita Willis **37 People with Names for Which, I’m Sure, There Are Good Explanations** Artificial Flowers Auditorium Beautiful Swindler Bigamy Charity Ward Devotee War Emancipation Proclamation Freedom Fertilizer Gasoline Immaculate Conception Kidnap Larceny Large Smash League of Nations Let’s Stay Here Leverage Libel Limousine Machine Magazine Miscellaneous No Parking Petty Larceny Pictorial Review Refund Sparkplug Sylvania Thermal Tomb Try-em-and-See Victrola Weatherstrip What X.Y.Z. Y.Z. Z. **97 People Whose Names Were Probably a Source of Merciless Torment on the Playground** Amazon Average Boozer Bright Charles Smellybelly Constance Stench Critic Crook Cute Darling Delerious Delight Dimples Dream-Child Equal Etta Roach Evil Extra Fairest Famous Fatty Favorite Felony Fertilizer Filthy McNasty Flake Flunkey Fool Head Foreward March Free Love Gift of God Hallowed Handsome Haphazard Hasty Hazard Heathen Himself Honest Hot Hot Shot Ima Goose Ima Rose Bush Ima Valentine John Smellie Jolly Knowledge Largie Lassie Lawless Lawyer Lonely Looney Looney Head Lord Love Love Bird Low Lucifer Lucky Blunder Luscious Margaret Black Butts Midget Modest Normal Old Peculier Perfect Person Pleasant Poor Boy Right Rimmer Roach Rodent Rudolph Goldshitter Silent Soggie Special Strange Odor Andrews Suck Sylvester Smells Tiny Small Too Late Toy Trouble Truly White Tweetie Unexpected Useless Vice Wealthy Weary Willibald Thumbfart Wimpy Wonderful Zero **35 People Whose Names Nicely Fit Their Occupations** Albert Palm: Masseur Arthur Blessit: Baptist evangelist Brenda Love: author of _The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Positions_ Deloris Hearsum: Deaf typist for a deaf social agency Denver Driver: Truck driver Don Tree: Gardener Donald Moos: Washington state official in charge of dairy reports Dorothy Reading: Librarian Filmore Graves: Mortician Frank Deadman: Mortician Gordon Marsh: Biologist Hazel Wolf: Works for the Audubon Society Jack Putz: Golf pro James Bond: Detective James Bugg: Exterminator John Barber: Barber Judge Judge: Judge Ken Priest: Protestant minister Lee Coffin: Mortician Max Money: Tax collector Michael Angelo: Artist Michael Fox: Veterinarian Milo B. High: Elvis’ pilot Mr. Brain: Teacher Mr. Bury: Mortician Mr. Sexsmith: Marriage counsellor Mrs. Bowman: Archery instructor Mrs. Cook: Baking teacher Muffin Fry: Baker Ronald Drown: Lifeguard Sam Wood: Lumber dealer Storm Field: Weatherman Sweep Hand: Watch repairman Virgil Buryman: Mortician Wake Doom: Mortician **21 Doctors Who Probably Have to Talk About Their Names a Lot** Dr. Bees: Veterinary assistant (to Dr. Lyons) Dr. Blood: Hematologist Dr. Brain: Neurologist Dr. Cartledge: Podiatrist Dr. Childs: Pediatrician Dr. Cure: Doctor Dr. Docter: Doctor Dr. Dolphin: Veterinarian Dr. Eather: Anesthesiologist Dr. Head: Neurologist Dr. Heard: Eye, Ear, Nose, and Throat Specialist Dr. Hertz: Chiropractor Dr. Jack Fealy: Gynecologist Dr. Leak: Urologist Dr. Lyons: Veterinarian Dr. Organ: Doctor Dr. Saw: Orthopedist Dr. Sawbones: Doctor Dr. Shrink: Psychiatrist Dr. Will Diddle: Obstetrician / Gynecologist Dr. Willian Rash: Dermatologist **3 Nurses Who Picked the Right Specialty** A. Nurse: Nurse Ida Toomer: Oncology nurse Prue Cramp: OB / GYN nurse **48 People Having Food Names or Names Having Something to Do with Food** Apple Cider Baby Ruth Bannana Barbara Beans Champagne Cold Turkey Dill Pickle Gardenia Salad Garlic Hearty Meal Herb Rice Hershey Bar Hominy Ice Cream Jelly Bean Lemon Custer Lemon Freeze Lettuce Fields Liza Cucumber Loin Lunch Margarine Mazola Meat Grease Meat Loaf Oatmeal Oleomargarine Olive Green Orange Jello Orangeade Piece O. Cake Pork Chop Sam Broccoli Sam Omelette Sasparilla Sausage Soda Spicy Fudge Strawberry Commode Summer Butter Turnip Utensil Vanilla Watermellon Patch Weldon Rumproast Wheat Bread Whisky Wine ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/2 "2004-03-23T23:09:10Z")
Whoops… “Aspriri” is supposed to be “Aspirin.” I’m guessing I had another brainfart… what else is new around here? 😉 F\_X ---
**Author:** ![ReuvenB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@ReuvenB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReuvenB)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/3 "2004-03-23T23:17:28Z")
I know a Gabriel Astird. He goes by Gabe. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/4 "2004-03-23T23:30:42Z")
I’m glad you started this. My friends sister works in a hospital. She is also pregnant with her second child, which makes her a target for " Hey, what do you think about X for a name?" or " Wait until you hear this combination…" A recent visitor to the hospital is named: \*\*Willis Tillis Jr. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2004, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/5 "2004-03-23T23:55:01Z")
One of the benefits of working in a call center is the occasional name that causes you to put the person on hold for a moment so you don’t laugh directly at them. 🙂 The most recent one: **Chu Hahn Mei**. I shit you not – the person called up and said her name was, phonetically, Chew On Me. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/6 "2004-03-24T00:09:54Z")
Not a personal name, but I just discovered while looking something up in the zip code directory that there is a street in Sacramento called **Harms Way**. ---
**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/7 "2004-03-24T00:19:31Z")
I went to school with Candy Barr and my daughter went to school with Shreeka Payne (I’m glad I wasn’t at that delivery). ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/8 "2004-03-24T01:41:10Z")
Two officers, same rank, same squadron: Knight and Armour In Basic I met trainee Gay and trainee High. ---
**Author:** ![Freiheit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e8c25b/32.png) [@Freiheit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freiheit)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/9 "2004-03-24T03:09:11Z")
My dad knows a Red Cockburn. _Why_ would he go by Red? ---
**Author:** ![MentalGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/439d5e/32.png) [@MentalGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MentalGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/10 "2004-03-24T03:32:24Z")
I went to high school with a Monte Carlo Hall. Doing student teaching, I had a student named Penny Lane. While teaching there was a student at the school named David Balz. His father’s name was Harry. ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/11 "2004-03-24T03:42:26Z")
> [@Flamsterette\_X](#): > > Nancy Nipples Nancy Nipples! She owns/owned the dairy and egg store at Pike Place Market! Yay! On another board, I mentioned I knew someone who went to school with Polly Graph. She dated a guy with the last name of Lye for a short time. ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/12 "2004-03-24T03:44:50Z")
Ooops. Actually, I meant Polly Graff. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/13 "2004-03-24T04:14:06Z")
Heh…was just having a discussion with my mother, and this topic came up. While I always knew my grandmother’s name was May, it wasn’t until now that I leared that her middle name was Bea. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Marconi\_Schmeese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@Marconi\_Schmeese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marconi_Schmeese)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/14 "2004-03-24T04:23:27Z")
One of my old sales rep’s name was Becky Bridges. Sounded like porn to me. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/15 "2004-03-24T05:41:29Z")
I ran across a customer by the name of “Valentine F. Grabowski” the other day. Sent me into fits of giggles for about half an hour. If I had heard that name before, it’d be my pseudonym here instead of **Bambi**. I think it’s mostly the disconnect between the ethnicities and the sheer length of it. ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/16 "2004-03-24T09:16:19Z")
There was a girl in my high school named Mona Groen. ---
**Author:** ![elfje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19b73/32.png) [@elfje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfje)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/17 "2004-03-24T11:04:23Z")
my mother used to see a psychologist with the name of Dr. Willy Pecker. ---
**Author:** ![International\_Playboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/48db29/32.png) [@International\_Playboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/International_Playboy)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/18 "2004-03-24T13:56:26Z")
My last name is Green. I share a first name with a very unfunny Canadian “comedian” who has artificial testicals and had a short marriage to a Hollywood starlet, but shall otherwise remain nameless. (I was born several years before him and would like to sue him for tarnishing my name.) Oops, sorry for the digression 😛 , I was going to say that my kids had better hope never to be born. I have already picked out their names: Soylent (good for a boy or girl) Wolfgang (“Gang” for short) Chartruse (for a girl) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![spingears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@spingears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spingears)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/19 "2004-03-24T15:00:31Z")
> [@International Playboy](#): > > My last name is Green. I share a first name with a very unfunny Canadian “comedian” who has artificial testicals and had a short marriage to a Hollywood starlet, but shall otherwise remain nameless. (I was born several years before him and would like to sue him for tarnishing my name.) > > Oops, sorry for the digression 😛 , I was going to say that my kids had better hope never to be born. I have already picked out their names: > > Soylent (good for a boy or girl) > Wolfgang (“Gang” for short) > Chartruse (for a girl) > > 😃 My mother worked in the records dept. of a large hospital. Saw a lot of strange/unusual names. You can add my contribution to add to your childs’ name list. “Paris Green” ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2004, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013/20 "2004-03-24T15:04:27Z")
> [@International Playboy](#): > > Soylent (good for a boy or girl) > 😃 At least then there would be little doubt that Soylent Green is people. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-round-of-amusing-really-strange-real-names/236013.md?page=2)