# Time for another trip to the Universal Library. Can I bring you hosers anything? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 22, 2015, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624 "2015-01-22T21:45:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2015, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/1 "2015-01-22T21:45:57Z")
So I just got an update via my hypertime cell phone, and it seems that the Universal Library (which has audio & video as well as books, but no porn) has just gotten in stock the version of Peter Jackons’s HOBBIT which was up to the standards of FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING. It was one movie rather than three; there were no giant rabbits pulling sleighs; Legolas, while present, was not a video game character, and so forth. So I’m off to pick it up, along with the version of THE SILMARILLION from Earth-87452145684288945564-f, where Tolkien lived until 1986 and was able to finish the whole thing. Anybody else want anything? ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2015, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/2 "2015-01-22T21:50:28Z")
Books: I want a bunch of Talbot Mundy novels – you know, in addition to the ones he actually wrote in his lifetime. I’ve read everything I’ve ever been able to find of his, and it ain’t enough. I want more. Movies: I’d really like an animated Lord of the Rings, done using the characters from Walt Kelly’s Pogo. Pogo is Frodo, Porkypine is Sam, Howland and Churchy are Gimli and Legolas, Beauregard and Albert are Aragorn and Boromir, etc. (Failing that, just some more good animated Pogo.) ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/3 "2015-01-23T00:44:49Z")
Well I have this dinner party coming up and want to do fix something really out of the box. Can you pick me up a copy of “To Serve Man?” ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/4 "2015-01-23T01:02:25Z")
I’d like Firefly seasons 1-7 from the dimension with the three Joss Whedons because of the transporter accident. Also, if you can get me a download of the Library of Alexandrea along with one of your annotated universal translator chips, I’d be thankful. And I’d also like the videos showing Theodora’s stage work from one of the dimensions where PBS has access to time travel. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/5 "2015-01-23T01:11:47Z")
Is there a medical research division or is this a “works of man” trip to the UL? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/6 "2015-01-23T04:46:59Z")
The complete works of Lope de Vega, because nobody is sure exactly how many there are, some whose name is known are lost, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Goob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c77e96/32.png) [@Mr.Goob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Goob)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/7 "2015-01-23T10:26:09Z")
The 6th and 7th books of George RR Martins’ Song of Ice and Fire right now would be nice. The 7 season long DVD boxed set of Neil Gaimens’ Sandman done by HBO. For that matter throw in the 4th season of Deadwood that wrapped things up. Somewhere in the stacks might also be the last half dozen volumes of Patrick O’Brians’ Aubrey/Maturin novels that were in his head before he had the poor manners to die before writing. I’d ask about the wildly popular critically acclaimed blockbuster versions of Starship Troopers and Showgirls but that’s just crazy talk. ---
**Author:** ![Apocalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Apocalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apocalypso)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/8 "2015-01-23T11:37:29Z")
I would like a copy of Douglas Adams’ **The Salmon of Doubt** , and a dvd copy of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy that he wrote. Also, Homer’s Illad and Odyssey were only two in a series of 7-8 books, and I’d like copies of the rest of the series please. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/9 "2015-01-23T11:57:02Z")
All those works that Mozart composed after the age of 36 would be nice. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Dioptre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/278dde/32.png) [@Dioptre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dioptre)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/10 "2015-01-23T12:10:48Z")
Could I please have the true final Terminator movie, featuring Marty McFly and Doc? I’ve seen the [trailer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nMyitOkz-I) on How it Should Have Ended, but the movie is unfortunately unavailable in this dimension. ---
**Author:** ![Politzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@Politzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Politzania)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/11 "2015-01-23T14:28:31Z")
> [@Apocalypso](#): > > I would like a copy of Douglas Adams’ **The Salmon of Doubt** , and a dvd copy of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy that he wrote. I’d like copies of both of the above as well – and how about whatever Kurt Vonnegut’s been working on? Oh yeah - the latest Mitch Hedberg comedy DVD would be nice, too. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/12 "2015-01-23T15:00:45Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > the version of Peter Jackons’s HOBBIT which was up to the standards of FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING. It was one movie rather than three; there were no giant rabbits pulling sleighs; Legolas, while present, was not a video game character, and so forth. So I’m off to pick it up, along with the version of THE SILMARILLION from Earth-87452145684288945564-f, where Tolkien lived until 1986 and was able to finish the whole thing. Is there a Peter Jackson film of that, too? ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/13 "2015-01-23T15:16:47Z")
I will also take any further works by Douglas Adams and a copy of the one-film non-video game Hobbit. Please also grab the complete 5-volume set of the Wheel Of Time books. You know, the ones where Jordan had an editor and finished the story himself? Finally, I would ask kindly for a copy of Star Wars Ep I from one of the sane versions of Earth. By which I mean, of course, a version without Jar-Jar Binks. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/14 "2015-01-23T15:31:46Z")
The Complete Works of Pliny the Elder, if you please. And maybe the collected poems of Sappho for my sister. From the Contemporary Collections, the complete Starship Troupers saga, the complete Tran adventures, and the finished War against the Chtorr series, from a universe where the authors didn’t get lazy, sick or insane. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/15 "2015-01-23T15:43:32Z")
Could I get a copy of the semi-sequel to Warday by Whitley Strieber and James Kunetka which was going to show events from the Soviet perspective but was never completed? Actually can you get some ‘Red Storm Rising’ books from some of the dimensions where the Soviet Union never fell _(World War Three books just haven’t been the same since)_ or even real factual books from universes where such a war took place? ( :eek: ) Also a copy of the original first-draft super-complicated version of ‘Use of Weapons’ originally written by Iain M Banks but cut down and reorganised on the advice of his fellow sci-fi author friend Ken MacLeod. Its probably too soon to ask for a new Culture book from realms where he’s alive and well _(Godspeed Iain!)_ ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/16 "2015-01-23T15:43:37Z")
The Last Dangerous Visions The Riverworld _Trilogy_ _Buckaroo Banzai Against the World Crime League_ _History Of The World, Part II_ ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/17 "2015-01-23T15:52:40Z")
I’d kinda like to see the original uncut Greed. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/18 "2015-01-23T17:08:47Z")
> [@August\_West](#): > > Finally, I would ask kindly for a copy of Star Wars Ep I from one of the sane versions of Earth. By which I mean, of course, a version without Jar-Jar Binks. > **[The Phantom Edit](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Phantom_Edit)** > > Star Wars Episode I.I: The Phantom Edit is a fan edit of the film Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace, removing many elements of the original film. The purpose of the edit, according to creator Mike J. Nichols, was to make a much stronger version of The Phantom Menace based on the previous execution and philosophies of film storytelling and editing of George Lucas. The Phantom Edit was the first unauthorized re-edit of The Phantom Menace to receive major publicity and acclaim and is also Th... ---
**Author:** ![oft\_wears\_hats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7993a0/32.png) [@oft\_wears\_hats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oft_wears_hats)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/19 "2015-01-23T17:10:35Z")
I’d love an American history book from one of the Earths where Al Gore won the presidency in 2000. I’m curious as to how things would have worked out. Toss in global climate records from 2000 to present from the same universe. Also, please put me down for copies of the following (in no particular order): [ol] [li]_Better Off Ted_ Seasons 3-8[/li][li]_Arrested Development_ Season 4 from one of the universes where it was produced contiguously[/li][li]The BBC _Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy_ Series 3-5 (1980s edition)[/li][li]_Star Wars_ Episodes VII-IX (1986-1992, **original theatrical editions** )[/li][li]A finished, playable copy of what is known in our universe as _Resident Evil 1.5_[/li][li]A copy of _Mass Effect 3_ from a universe where EA never purchased Bioware (specifically one where people didn’t whinge about the ending for six months after its release, should be easy to confirm)[/li][li]A copy of Peter Jackson’s _The Two Towers_ from whatever universe you’re getting _The Hobbit_ from. I like to think that that universe’s Jackson would have done the Saruman scenes proper justice, rather than blowing half the runtime on Helm’s Deep.[/li][/ol] ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2015, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624/20 "2015-01-23T19:27:21Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > has just gotten in stock the version of Peter Jackons’s HOBBIT which was up to the standards of FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING. It was one movie rather than three; there were no giant rabbits pulling sleighs; Legolas, while present, was not a video game character, and so forth. No thanks, I prefer the much better version, like the ones I own on DVD. The scenes with the White Council vs the Necromancer are some of the best work ever to be put on screen. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-another-trip-to-the-universal-library-can-i-bring-you-hosers-anything/710624.md?page=2)