# Time for some basic dating advice **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 22, 2007, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953 "2007-01-22T14:26:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2007, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/41 "2007-01-22T22:41:54Z")
Sorry I’ve been away from this thread; I was at an interview. I love you guys. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2007, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/42 "2007-01-22T22:56:41Z")
[Stern ON] Have you contacted her yet? [Stern OFF] ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2007, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/43 "2007-01-22T23:04:15Z")
> [@](#): > > [Stern ON] Have you contacted her yet? [Stern OFF] I’ll call a little after 7 pm, EST. And I’ll get voice mail, and I’ll leave a message. And then the whole thing gets to bounce around in my head until she calls me back. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2007, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/44 "2007-01-22T23:04:30Z")
Ask her out over the phone. As long as you don’t think it will cause a panic attack, its better to do it over the phone. Alternatively, please try that singing telegram. I would love to hear how that worked out. Note, the singing telegram would be a disaster of epic proportions but would probably make a really funny story. ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2007, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/45 "2007-01-22T23:12:55Z")
> [@](#): > > Ask her out over the phone. As long as you don’t think it will cause a panic attack, its better to do it over the phone. Oh, yeah, no worries on that score. Like **Billdo** said, I’m gibbering and charmless. Not. Not gibbering and charmless. Also three-dimensionless. I mean three-dimensional. …What was I saying? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2007, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/46 "2007-01-22T23:15:49Z")
Call her. The email is the first step, the second step is calling on the phone, the third is asking for a specific date - why waste your time on step one if you want to get to step two and get on with things? Call her. Ask her out. Go on a date within the next two weeks. Have a relationship. Get married and have children and grow old together. Do it, dude! ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2007, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/47 "2007-01-22T23:23:58Z")
> [@](#): > > Call her. Ask her out. Go on a date within the next two weeks. Have a relationship. Get married and have children and grow old together. Do it, dude! Excellent. I’ll report back to this thread and check these off as things progress. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2007, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/48 "2007-01-22T23:25:15Z")
Phone call, amigo, phone call. Save the emails for later. ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/49 "2007-01-23T00:19:19Z")
Left a voice mail. I only gibbered a little. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/50 "2007-01-23T01:43:36Z")
I agree-- calling. An e-mail would look wussy and socially inept to me–a bit evasive or chicken. I’m over 30, though. I wonder if age corresponds to responses on this one? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/51 "2007-01-23T03:05:39Z")
[QUOTE=capybara] I agree-- calling. An e-mail would look wussy and socially inept to me–a bit evasive or chicken. I’m over 30, though. I wonder if age corresponds to responses on this one? [/QUOTE] I was wondering this myself. I’m 31 and I was about to write that writing an email rather than calling seems a bit chickenshit, but decided against it, even though that’s what it conveys to me. ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/52 "2007-01-23T03:33:05Z")
Well, I just turned 31 and I was on the fence about it, so maybe that’s the break point. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/53 "2007-01-23T14:00:37Z")
So did she call back yet? ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/54 "2007-01-23T14:18:56Z")
I know I’m a bit late, but if it were me I’d prefer an e-mail. I’m not a big fan of phones. But good luck! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/55 "2007-01-23T14:23:55Z")
I’m going to go against the flow and suggest something more…memorable. Get her address and send her a little card inviting her out to lunch or whatever. I’ll bet she never got one before. You’ll stand out in a field of run-of-the-mill suitors. ---
**Author:** ![Bibliovore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Bibliovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bibliovore)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/56 "2007-01-23T14:29:11Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] I’m going to go against the flow and suggest something more…memorable. Get her address and send her a little card inviting her out to lunch or whatever. I’ll bet she never got one before. You’ll stand out in a field of run-of-the-mill suitors. [/QUOTE] Sorry, but I’d actually strongly advise against this. Going to the effort to “get” her address will send off instant alarm-bells in her head and will make you look like some sort of uber-creepy stalker. If she wanted you to know where she lived she would have given you her address. Be safe and be a gentleman - give her an out and make her feel safe by keeping the contact on a level she’s comfortable with. ---
**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/57 "2007-01-23T14:37:13Z")
[QUOTE=Book Monster] Sorry, but I’d actually strongly advise against this. [/QUOTE] Seconded. I’d think “stalker,” not “sweetie.” ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/58 "2007-01-23T14:43:51Z")
> [@](#): > > So did she call back yet? She did! We had an enjoyable fifteen-minute conversation. We’re getting together sometime next week; I’m sending her an e-mail today to firm up a particular evening. (And this way we can exchange smashingly witty repartee for the next few days.) So it seems like it’s all worked out so far, and (thanks in part to you folk) with the minimum of overthinking on my part. Good thing, too…if I hadn’t heard from her this time, my next step was skywriting. ---
**Author:** ![Bibliovore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Bibliovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bibliovore)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/59 "2007-01-23T14:45:40Z")
Good for you! Glad it’s working out well so far! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953/60 "2007-01-23T14:48:18Z")
The trusted friend is already the go-between. I wouldn’t find it stalkerish if he facilitated it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-for-some-basic-dating-advice/388953.md?page=4)