Time for some more mini-rants

The BBQ Pit
41

Along those lines of laziness, the fact I’ve needed a second job for a good three months at least, and still haven’t done shit about it.

Cold toilet seats and automatically flushing toilets. The damned things go off while you’re still on them at random intervals. It’s just kinda frightening when you’re not expecting it. And with all that fancy technology, you’d think they’d be able to develope one that wasn’t friggin’ 60 degree surface temperature in a 75 degree room.

Employees that won’t send out a simple notice over email in the office because “I don’t know how to write it.” It’s a stupid little statement saying “This script was wrong in the prompter”…how hard is that?

The fact that you can do a monotonous task 5000 times in a row perfectly, but the ONE TIME you mess up, happens to be the only time the boss/someone you want to impress is watching.

42

Oooh, the library. I requested a couple of books from a different branch, and when they came in, they were supposed to give me a call with their fancy new-fangled automated calling system. Turns out that their fancy new-fangled automated calling system won’t talk with my old, tape-recording answering machine, so next time I went to the library, I had $10 in fees for books I had requested and not picked up.

I finally impressed upon the librarian that I had never received a message saying they were in, or I would have come picked them up. She very grudgingly removed the fees from my account, and told me that there would be a charge next time I did this (implying, of course, that I was lying and trying to rip off the system.)

More on libraries - they have traditionally been a QUIET place. This is no place for a screaming baby. The rest of the patrons that are reading magazines, doing homework, or just enjoying the book atmosphere are not appreciating your little bundle of noise.

43

A few additions…

Well, actually, the main one can be summed up as follows:

#$#()* goat-squickers who manage to screw things up through their own actions (or inactions) but try to pin the blame on anyone else but themselves. (This ranges anywhere from people who mis-dial a number and think you, the person who answered, is the one to blame, to people who somehow miss all of the postings saying the dealine for X is Y and try to get things done at the last minute.)

People who pick up something perishable in the grocery store, decide that they don’t want it, and stick it just any ol’ place. Eggs tucked inbetween the cereal boxes. Milk stuck in the freezer. Frozen foods in with the bread.

I’ll chime in with the consesus against people who are wearing too much perfume/aftershave. Earlier this morning, a guy walked past my office: if I can smell your Old Spice aftershave from about 10 feet away then buddy, you’re wearing too damn much!

(If you accidentally spill too much on yourself, that’s forgiveable. But couldn’t you grab a washcloth and try to wash off some of it, pretty please?)

People who are eating/drinking something when they call someone (espically a business), or have the TV/radio too loud in the background, and except to be heard and understood perfectly. Finish your drink/meal before you call, and turn down the noise (or call from a quiet area if on a cell phone), and maybe then I can understand you and I won’t have to repeat myself three times.

People who call, listen to the voice mail message that clearly states hours of operation and that NO APPOINTMENTS are made, then leave a message wanting to set up an appointment. :rolleyes:

Also, people who leave you their phone number so you can call them back… but don’t leave you the entire number. Like, oh say, the area code when they’re calling long distance. Or, a phone number starting with 0 or 1. Or a phone number with 5 digits. Etc.

These usually combine, with someone leaving me a message that can be barely made out: “Yes, thi?? is ???, ?? make an appointm?? (more genreal static, background noise, munching of food, etc.) numb?? is 0??-???.”

Then the people who leave messages like that bitch at never having their calls returned.

Errr. This is longer than I thought. But man, it feels good to bitch about things for a bit.

<< Come to the Dark Side: we have milk and cookies! >>

44

:enthusiastic clapping:

Yes, please stand in the hall 3 abreast and have your meaningless conversation in the hall at work. Yes, please walk into the stadium/racetrack and stop at the end of the tunnel and hold your mouth open and don’t move so the crowd behind you can go in. Please, walk up the stairs 3 abreast and gaze in amazement when I stand there as opposed to flattening myself against the wall.

Ok, those aren’t the same but it’s similar.

45

The commercial for Pet Meds really irritates me. It’s just so…FALSE.

According to the commercial, the big HOOK for calling Pet Meds for your pet’s medication is that it’s an unbelievable hassle to drag your 80 lb dog to the vet to get the medication (they show a woman struggling with a pet). The blatantly false thing is that no one has to bring their pet to get the medication. Pets go to the vet for a variety of reasons but picking up monthly heart worm pills isn’t one of them.

46

I’ve gotten into the habit of taking the nearest rogue cart to my car into the store with me. Helps this problem greatly and reduces the risk of that cart hitting my car as well.

47

That lady who was holding her lit cigarette out the passenger-side window of the car, right at the level of my face when I came up beside her on my bike, and who expressed surprise and irritation when I asked her if she would mind removing it.

Drivers who, while sitting in long line-ups waiting to make a right turn, stay in the extreme right-hand part of the lane (although there is plenty of room in the centre and even the left of the lane, which would be apparent to the driver if s/he looked at the car ahead or behind) so that I cannot get past on my bike.

grr. I’ve been riding my bike too much lately.

48

Drivers who flick their cigarette buts out the window because they don’t want those messy sticky things in their cars.

Well buddy, I don’t want them on my street, in my yard or on the sidewalk either.

I’ve been tempted to go pick it up and hand it back “Excuse me, I believe you dropped this”. But I’m to chicken.

49

People.

50

Me! Me!

mini-rant on the fine art of sleeping twisted: It sucks. My back has been advising me all day to cut that crap out. I mean to, but every morning I wake up in a pretzel.

Pass the mustard.

51

Thanks for the reminder. I reserved something from another branch m’self, coincidentally enough, about the same time I returned that book I never returned except I returned it, and haven’t heard back about it. I’d forgotten all about it until just now.

Probably oughtta look into that before they start sending legbreakers 'round to visit me.

52

Yes, but I have to approach this from another agle. I am a private assistant to a guy who has never had a private assistant before, and I guess now that he doesn’t have to personally do all the monotonous stuff he had to do before, he feels like he can relax in the next room. Except, for him, “relaxing” means pumping up the Abba and singing along. Seven feet away, I’m on the phone to his accountant. I feel really bad for that guy.

53

People…who…umm…take…forever to put together one…umm…sentence. And then they stop in the middle of the sentence and… umm… thing, just so they can segue into an unrelated…

54

A related topic. People who come to a stage where they obviously need help and then just stare into space.

Them: “I was watching this…”

(15 seconds pass)

Me: “Movie? Television show? Car accident? Root canal?”

Them: (wave hand vaguely to indicate they need to concentrate)

(15 more seconds pass)

Me: “Live birth? Cat? Lightning strike? Shingle?”

Them: (wave hand vaguely, tilt head)

Me: “Bloodless coup? Soup? Guy losing his interest in whatever the hell you were saying? Give me something to work with here, for the love of OG!”

Them: Well, I don’t know what they do at that point, because I just have to walk away.

55

They parked their car in the stall? Damn, featherlou I hope you weren’t trying to get out of the stall when that happened. :smiley:

Then there’s those bastids who make smart ass remarks about other posters posts. Don’t even get me started on that.

56

We have to use a swipey card to get into our office - on the way out, a sensor sees you coming and unlocks the enormous electromagnet, letting you out.

It takes the about 1.2 seconds to disengage the lock, so I habitually slam into the still-locked door several times a day. I’ve even tried to pause before I push the door, but I think it’s on to me.

I HATE when places don’t have a clear street number on them. There’s nothing more frustrating than trying to find one particular house in a dark suburban street. Pizza-delivering dopers - how the hell do you do it?

<aside>
Having worked in a college library, I’ve seen a lot of “I turned that book in already.” We could usually tell if they had returned stuff recently, and if the book was on the shelf or in the back ready to be shelved, I’d get my manager to clear the fine. But I can see that some librarians might not go to those lengths. I also think that some patrons re-shelved their own books, then claimed that they returned it already. Hard to tell, really.
</aside>

Oo, library rant. Professors were exempt from library fines, as long as they brought the books back at some point. Every once in awhile, we would run a report to figure out which professors had absurdly high fines, and send them a bill. They would come rushing in with bags full of books, bitching about how they aren’t supposed to get fines, how they had to scrounge around the office to find all the books, blah blah blah. The fine policy, in my mind, is just a perk of being a professor. It does NOT mean that the library is your fucking personal library - buy your own ogdamn books! I hated when a student would ask where a particular book was, and on the system it would say that one of these profs had it - I would basically have to tell the student that this book would never be available, tough shit.

If you have to dig the book out from the bottom of the crap pile in your office, you’re not using it. Check it in, let other people use it. Suck it up and go to the book fair and get your own copy. Argh.

And whoever it was (previous page) who complained about “My daughter is learning about Sharks!” - I totally understand. College students who couldn’t be bothered to learn the Library of Congress system - it’s really not that confusing. Good luck in your future career.

57

Fat piggies waddling down the center of the sidewalk, swinging their arms to and fro. And apparently they cannot lower their arms more than 20 degrees from horizontal, so they take up three fatty spaces. In the middle of the fawkin’ sidewalk.

And they frequently move in packs.

58

I have to assume you’re talking about actual pigs, because it would be incredibly rude to de-humanizing overweight humans like this.

59

Me too!!! God, I hate that commercial so much it makes me use too many exclamation points and hit the wrong number sometimes!!!@!@!@!@!

Hey cowgirl, what do you suggest the passenger do with the cigarette? Eat it or something?

60

Two little things that will always send vibrotronica into a murderous rage.

[phone rings]

vibro Hello?

Unknown Voice on Phone Who is this?

AARGH!

vibro It’s the fucking Queen of England! Isn’t that who you were calling you rude piece of crap? Who the living bejesus are you, Oliver Frikkin Cromwell? Identify yourself or my brain will send out powerful waves of electricity that will shoot through this cell phone and quickly bring your spinal fluid to a boil, poaching that little hummingbird egg you use for a brain!

2

In the checkout line:

vibro I’d like to purchase this box of Altoids and these two Sharpies, please.

Cashier What is your zip code?

gggrrrrr

vibro Pray tell, young master, why doest thou require a zip code to complete a SIMPLE FUCKING CASH TRANSACTION? Prithy summon the manager and head of corporate marketing so that I may INJECT THEIR GENITALS WITH A CAUSTIC ACID, BEAT THEM WITHIN AN INCH OF THEIR LIVES WITH YOUR CASH REGISTER, and INSULT THEIR SAINTED GRANDMOTHERS before I GRIND THEM INTO A FINE PULP BENEATH MY BOOTS and MIX THEIR REMAINS into a SALSA which I will then FEED TO THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS using a HIGH PRESSURE SALSA HOSE OF MY OWN DESIGN!

…

that is all