# Time machine for sale. Is this guy for real. **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 3, 2001, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148 "2001-10-03T08:06:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chas.E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@Chas.E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chas.E)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/21 "2001-10-03T15:50:41Z")
I am reminded of a Stanislav Lem story. The infamous Pirx receives a knock on his door. A wizened old man is at his door, and tells him he has spent his entire life developing a time machine, but he needs an investor because he has used up his life savings to create the machine, it is now finished but he’s been evicted from his home and now lacks even an electrical outlet to power the device for a test. Pirx loves a good crackpot, so he says he will consider investing if the guy demonstrates the machine. The inventor plugs in the machine, sets the dial for 50 years in the future, stands on the machine and pushes the switch. Pirx watches in horror as the inventor ages 50 years in a few seconds, dies, his corpse begins to decompose, and then vanishes. Now as Pirx retells the tale, he says he has been waiting 50 years for the day when a decomposed corpse will materialize in this room. And _today is the day_. ---
**Author:** ![Nukeman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce7236/32.png) [@Nukeman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nukeman)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/22 "2001-10-03T16:03:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RealityChuck \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > This thing can’t possibly work. > > > > There is no flux capacitor!! > > You don’t need one. Just reverse the polarity of the neutron flow. \*\* And dont forget to recalibrate your curly wire (oops Time Coils) to emit a Tachyon burst! ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/23 "2001-10-03T16:15:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nukeman \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by RealityChuck \* > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > This thing can’t possibly work. > > > > > > There is no flux capacitor!! > > > > You don’t need one. Just reverse the polarity of the neutron flow. \*\* > > And dont forget to recalibrate your curly wire (oops Time Coils) to emit a Tachyon burst! \*\* Sorry, not Tachyons, but rather Chronotons. ---
**Author:** ![evilhanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba8739/32.png) [@evilhanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilhanz)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/24 "2001-10-03T19:02:55Z")
> [@](#): > > The reason I say that is that I have built one version of a flux capacitor circuit that is revealed in one of my reports and I had built something like four or five different versions of the flux capacitor and I tested out each one of them. I don’t think that I would ever want to build one again, to be quite truthful with you about the whole situation. Because there is something about them that is tuned right into the fourth dimension and, whenever I build it and use it, something bad happens to me, like I’ll either open up a doorway into the fourth dimension or… I was told by some other people that if I sent you some reports it could put my life into serious danger. At least that is what they said. They are trying to scare me or something into not revealing this stuff to other people. This guy is totally baked. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/25 "2001-10-03T19:47:28Z")
Any fool knows you don’t buy a Time Machine. You rent it and when you’re done with it, you return it to the moment after you rented it. This is why the rental rates are so high. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/26 "2001-10-03T20:33:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by skripek \* > **Hmmm…According to the website it runs off of regular 110v AC power…** My power runs closer to 120vac. Do I need to recalibrate the curly wires so I don’t overshoot my target time? ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/27 "2001-10-03T21:22:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by evilhanz \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > The reason I say that is that I have built one version of a flux capacitor circuit that is revealed in one of my reports and I had built something like four or five different versions of the flux capacitor and I tested out each one of them. I don’t think that I would ever want to build one again, to be quite truthful with you about the whole situation. Because there is something about them that is tuned right into the fourth dimension and, whenever I build it and use it, something bad happens to me, like I’ll either open up a doorway into the fourth dimension or… I was told by some other people that if I sent you some reports it could put my life into serious danger. At least that is what they said. They are trying to scare me or something into not revealing this stuff to other people. > > This guy is totally baked. \*\* Oh. My. God. I was kidding when I criticized not including a flux capacitor. This guy claims to have built one. Maybe he should look into dilithium crystals and death rays ---
**Author:** ![RyanD004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/848f3c/32.png) [@RyanD004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RyanD004)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/28 "2001-10-03T22:07:14Z")
This has got to be one of the most outrageous websites i’ve ever seen. hoenstly… has anyone ever mailed this guy or offered to buy soemthing from him? Mr Gibbs certainly doesn’t sound like a budding physicist to me. Maybe we should all chip in and pay a quarter to have a time mahcine delivered to Cecil’s house. ---
**Author:** ![theretsof](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e8c25b/32.png) [@theretsof](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theretsof)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/29 "2001-10-03T22:17:44Z")
You think thats funny check this sale out… [http://home.houston.rr.com/surrenderownz/auction.htm](http://home.houston.rr.com/surrenderownz/auction.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/30 "2001-10-03T22:22:38Z")
> [@](#): > > I was told by some other people that if I sent you some reports it could put my life into serious danger. At least that is what they said. They are trying to scare me or something into not revealing this stuff to other people. Yadda yadda yadda - so just go back and give their great grandfathers a few condoms. ---
**Author:** ![arara123](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@arara123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/arara123)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/31 "2001-10-03T23:25:07Z")
My Time Machine arrived in the mail this morning and seems to be working fine. Now I just have to remember to send the order form in tomorrow. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![toker420](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@toker420](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toker420)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/32 "2001-10-03T23:28:52Z")
Recently bought one i think he could have made some adjustments, maybe come out with a v.1.2? had to rewire flux cap. also tinkerd with the time coils adding one cb radio antena so as to make time travel possible on other worlds. changed to 210 becuz at home wiring differs from original setup. added quartz crystal casing so not to damage during travel. Upgraded to windows 2000 advanced server because of the shutdown glitch in 95. Wired up four sears car batteries to give extra emergency boost incase stuck in a diminsion/time not capable of power needed. ---
**Author:** ![toker420](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@toker420](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toker420)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/33 "2001-10-03T23:29:37Z")
Recently bought one i think he could have made some adjustments, maybe come out with a v.1.2? had to rewire flux cap. also tinkerd with the time coils adding one cb radio antena so as to make time travel possible on other worlds. changed to 210 becuz at home wiring differs from original setup. added quartz crystal casing so not to damage during travel. Upgraded to windows 2000 advanced server because of the shutdown glitch in 95. Wired up four sears car batteries to give extra emergency boost incase stuck in a diminsion/time not capable of power needed. ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/34 "2001-10-04T00:13:41Z")
I just ran off a hard copy of this thread and intend to put it in a time capsule which the local ladies club are burying next week. If this doesn’t confuse the Fowler Historical Society of 2101, I don’t know what will. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/35 "2001-10-04T01:41:11Z")
> [@](#): > > **REPORT #8: THE 8TH KEY TO THE RIDDLE OF TIME.** Reveals the inside dope on the Time Tunnel experiments conducted by our government. Shows you how to construct the (XD-70OO), the Ultra Dimensional Time Portal and more! Contains hard to find information. _$19.95_ > > **REPORT #9: THE 9TH KEY TO THE RIDDLE OF TIME.** The information contained in this report almost cost me my life. Shows you how to construct the Demat Cannon, the Hyper Space Time Portal, the Multi-verse Resonator and the Space Time Collector. _$19.95_ Great. I’m out forty bucks and now I realize that the first through seventh keys are even harder to find. I have the Space Time Collector up and running, and I’ve collected 120 cubic metres and 38 minutes, but I don’t know what to do with it. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/36 "2001-10-04T02:11:51Z")
Greetings, past-Dopers! It is I, hyper-evolved FUTUREFENRIS! From the FAR FUTURE YEAR of 2200. Of course, I am a disembodied head and am typing with my tongue, so the keys are getting all yukky, but I digress. It is through the MIRACLE of TIME TRAVEL (if it weren’t for certain tantric tricks taught to me by the Swedish Olympic Bikini Team in that long-ago summer of 2037, I would NEVER be able to use my tongue on both the SHIFT key AND the LETTERS!) that I am able to be here today with you. PASTFenris (he hasn’t earned the right to and all CAPITALS name like truly advanced posters like SPOOFE yet. But he will! In any event, it is thanks to the HYPER-DIMENSIONAL RESONATOR that I am able to be here today, with you. My primitive, Neanderthal-like cousins. How I pity you. I will tell you that Cecil will run, unopposed, for President in the special election of 2011, bringing with him an age of enlightement and wonder previously unknown to mankind. His enemies will flee in futile horror as they are ground beneath his bejewelled sandals. And certain people, posting on THIS VERY BOARD will be among his assistants! His first act was to explain the secret questions and answers to LIFE, THE UNIVERSE and EVERYTHING! It will all become clear! Just a few more years, my Cro-magnon friends, and you will see the dawning of a new age! **AN AGE OF _CECIL!_** But now I go, back to the future! I will see you all there, and we will scoff at how little we knew. Before I go, one warning: If PASTFenris reads this thread, HE MUST NOT POST TO IT or the resultant Time-Space Paradox will destroy…um…something. I’ll get back to you on the specifics, but it won’t be good! Beware! Hyper-evolved FUTURE-FENRIS bids you Good Day! ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_The\_Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Buck\_The\_Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_The_Diver)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/37 "2001-10-04T04:43:30Z")
Just got my new SHARPER IMAGE catalogue. They got a 12-volt time machine that runs off the cigar lighter in your car! It also ionizes the air and jams police radar. Then again, I hear RONCO is coming out with a pocket model. Hmmm… Buck The Diver \<—proud owner, Popeil Pocket Time Machine ---
**Author:** ![evilhanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba8739/32.png) [@evilhanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilhanz)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/38 "2001-10-04T04:46:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Buck The Diver \* > **They got a 12-volt time machine that runs off the cigar lighter in your car! It also ionizes the air and jams police radar.** Is it shaped like a jukebox from a 1950’s diner? If not, I’ll pass. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/39 "2001-10-04T14:28:29Z")
Free Handy Time Machine: If you look at the sun, you are looking 8 minutes into the past. Therefore, you are 8 minutes into the future. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/40 "2001-10-04T15:13:42Z")
Personally, I’d rather have a Tim machine. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148.md?page=3)