# Time machine for sale. Is this guy for real. **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 3, 2001, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148 "2001-10-03T08:06:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/41 "2001-10-04T15:30:22Z")
_I am reminded of a Stanislav Lem story._ So am I. In another tale, Pirx (or is it some professor guy?) has a problem with his spaceship and ends up with a whole convention of past and future selves via time shenanigans (not achieved via a time machine, though). After much fighting and general rowdiness amongst the various selves, two child Pirxes climb into a spacesuit, one of them putting his arms into the pantlegs, and effect the repair, one of them turning the bolt and the other holding the nut still. RR ---
**Author:** ![willrolt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a88e57/32.png) [@willrolt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willrolt)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/42 "2001-10-04T17:38:53Z")
Hmm I heard on the radio last week some businessman saying he uses a babel fish to translate his business documents. Well, if you can buy/catch a babel fish, maybe a time machine isn’t such a long shot. How do I know if i live on a natural grid point? If I put off buying the widescreen tv for a while… ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/43 "2001-10-04T18:07:35Z")
See, I told you. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/44 "2001-10-04T18:40:41Z")
> [@](#): > > IT HAS BEEN PROVEN THAT IF A DOUBLE TERMINATED QUARTZ CRYSTAL IS PLACED INSIDE OF THE “WITNESS WELL” ON THE HYPER DIMENSIONAL RESONATOR, IT WILL GREATLY IMPROVE ITS PERFORMANCE FOR WHAT- EVER THE PURPOSE MIGHT BE. Yes!!! I’ve been lookin’ to improve my Quartz Crystal performance for what- ever the purpose might be! ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/45 "2001-10-04T19:06:56Z")
If this guy was on the level he would have told you that you don’t _need_ grid points, time coils, or electromagnets to time travel - just a basic understanding of improbability factors. The calculations for jumps up to an hour are so simple that they can be done on your fingers. Allow me to demonstrate. ---
**Author:** ![arara123](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@arara123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/arara123)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/46 "2001-10-05T21:03:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Beeblebrox \* > \*\*See, I told you. \*\* Neat trick. What did you use for your Brownian Motion Producer?😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/47 "2001-10-05T21:58:09Z")
I once believed that I could create a working time machine with only an oven timer, a few wires, and a car battery. Maybe this guy is me, having travelled almost a decade into the future! PASTRedukter, if you’re reading this: aftershave and fire together BAD things are. If you run into my year-ago self, give him a good kick in the pants for that. ---
**Author:** ![Chas.E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@Chas.E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chas.E)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/48 "2001-10-05T23:57:21Z")
RiverRunner: ha, I remember that story. Lem always handled the SF cliches like time travel paradoxes better than anyone. What I remember best about that story is one Pirx from one time line catches another Pirx eating his secret stash of chocolate, he is enraged and beats him up for hogging all his chocolate. Then later on, he gets tired and hungry and goes to snack on his chocolate stash, when another Pirx bursts into the room, and suddenly he realizes he’s just about to get beaten up. It was creepy. And funny. ---
**Author:** ![RAWisSYDNEY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4491bb/32.png) [@RAWisSYDNEY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RAWisSYDNEY)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2001, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/49 "2001-10-06T02:22:47Z")
i decided to send mine back. It isnt the right colour. ---
**Author:** ![RAWisSYDNEY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4491bb/32.png) [@RAWisSYDNEY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RAWisSYDNEY)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/50 "2001-10-06T02:24:05Z")
im buying one next week, hope they come in blue. ---
**Author:** ![RAWisSYDNEY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4491bb/32.png) [@RAWisSYDNEY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RAWisSYDNEY)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2001, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148/51 "2001-10-06T02:27:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Redukter \* > \*\*If you run into my year-ago self, give him a good kick in the pants for that. \*\* maybe the guy on EbaY could help you there. whooooo 2 jokes in one thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-machine-for-sale-is-this-guy-for-real/85148.md?page=2)