# Time now for the Doper Beauty Pageant... **URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881 **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share **Created:** [September 26, 2003, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881 "2003-09-26T01:47:43Z") **Posts on this page:** 20 **Page:** 1
### Author: ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest) #### Post date: [September 26, 2003, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/1 "2003-09-26T01:47:43Z")
Inspired by a rant in the pit that lead to a [link](http://www.printroom.com/missamerica/mi.asp) that listed the runner ups in my fair state, I ask you, the perfectly beautiful, text book balancing hottie’s these questions: **What would your platform be?** \*\* What would your talent be in competition?\*\* ---
### Author: ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest) #### Post date: [September 26, 2003, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/2 "2003-09-26T01:55:16Z")
Oh and some of these profiles are rather humorous: > [@](#): > > Miss Monroe County > Tiffany Lee Cupp > Platform: > Volunteer From the HEART > \*\*Talent: Modern Tahitian \*\* ---
### Author: ![Rabid\_Squirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Rabid\_Squirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rabid_Squirrel) #### Post date: [September 26, 2003, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/3 "2003-09-26T02:01:21Z")
**Platform** The Give Large Amounts of Money And/Or Items of Significant Monetary Wealth to Rabid\_Squirrel Foundation (TGLAoMA/OIoSMWtR\_SF) **Talent** Looking _fabulous_. Naturally. 😉 ---
### Author: ![eutactic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/22d042/32.png) [@eutactic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eutactic) #### Post date: [September 26, 2003, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/4 "2003-09-26T02:14:23Z")
**Platform** Wood, roughly ten inches off ground. Enough room to shuffle about comfortably. **Talent** Standing on said platform until boredom sets in. This may take up to two whole minutes. ---
### Author: ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth) #### Post date: [September 26, 2003, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/5 "2003-09-26T02:51:33Z")
Platform: UH? Talent: Singing. Mayhap doing the butt-wiggle honey dance that Tiburon taught me. ---
### Author: ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi) #### Post date: [September 26, 2003, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/6 "2003-09-26T06:08:42Z")
Platform: Shoes Talent: Less Didn’t Rosie O’Donnell do a routine about this, back when she was funny? “I want to be a brain surgeon, and my talent is eye liner.” ---
### Author: ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon) #### Post date: [October 9, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/7 "2003-10-09T17:21:55Z")
Hey! You aren’t supposed to _tell_ about the honey dance! That was _special._ ---
### Author: ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace) #### Post date: [October 9, 2003, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/8 "2003-10-09T18:13:36Z")
Honey dance? \ 🙂 I think we need an ugly contest for the rest of us too… ---
### Author: ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn) #### Post date: [October 9, 2003, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/9 "2003-10-09T18:26:50Z")
Platform: Train Special Talent: Waking people up with my awesome early-morning farts. (No, really.) Robin ---
### Author: ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena) #### Post date: [October 9, 2003, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/10 "2003-10-09T19:06:18Z")
\<\\> Platform: Cookies for Everyone!! Then a Nap. Special Talent: Channeling Ethel Merman ---
### Author: ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica) #### Post date: [October 9, 2003, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/11 "2003-10-09T22:01:09Z")
Platform: shoes Special Talent…ummm? We need one of those? ---
### Author: ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons) #### Post date: [October 9, 2003, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/12 "2003-10-09T22:06:48Z")
Platform: 9 3/4 Special Talent: Finding said platform. ---
### Author: ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest) #### Post date: [October 9, 2003, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/13 "2003-10-09T23:50:36Z")
Platform: I will bring about awareness of and raise money for the urgent need to develop robots to do all our work for us. Special Talent: I can play video games for days straight. ---
### Author: ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest) #### Post date: [October 10, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/14 "2003-10-10T00:03:39Z")
**Platform:** The desperate need for plastic surgery for the middle and lower classes. Just because they are poor does not mean they have too look it! **Special Talent:** Laying in a hot bathtub reading a book. It takes years of rigorous training to learn how to do this ---
### Author: ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright) #### Post date: [October 10, 2003, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/15 "2003-10-10T00:32:44Z")
Miss America goes to my school… yay! Finally UCF gets recognition for something other than its programming team… we ARE the eighth largest school in the country, ya know… Can I enter? Platform: I’m the prettiest boy in the contest. Talent: Stirring up controversy by entering women-only contests… ---
### Author: ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest) #### Post date: [October 10, 2003, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/16 "2003-10-10T02:08:34Z")
I dunno **Dutchboy** , we were watching some aerobic sport/dance competition last night on ESPN and it was a team event. Pulsating music. Fit bodies. Finger tip body stands. choreographed jumps. Perky smiles. 1% body fat.Team event. And the one team we caught had a guy in the fruitiest leotard/mock electric blue tuxedo top doing high kicks and rather impressively girly moves along side his two female team mates. It was brutal to watch…more unnatural than seeing a man cry in public…yet we could not turn away. Then we learned that this team was from Argentina. And they won. So, if you promise to wear really fruity outfits and like puppies and waterfalls, then you are in. ---
### Author: ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha) #### Post date: [October 10, 2003, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/17 "2003-10-10T06:42:49Z")
Platform: Hijack Skill: ::runs nekkid through thread:: ---
### Author: ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe) #### Post date: [October 10, 2003, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/18 "2003-10-10T06:55:02Z")
Platform: (With a backward glance at **iampunha** )Overlooking People’s Shortcomings Talent: Neck-popping in time with _Stars and Stripes Forever_ ---
### Author: ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze) #### Post date: [October 10, 2003, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/19 "2003-10-10T07:20:16Z")
Platform: Good Manners Make Good Neighbors! Skill: Proofreading. _With a flaming baton!_ ---
### Author: ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia) #### Post date: [October 10, 2003, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881/20 "2003-10-10T07:34:43Z")
Platform: Tea cozies for the underprivileged. Talent: Check out my huge-toothed smile while I play a patriotic song on my accordion. [Gratuitous link to swimsuit pose.](http://i.cnn.net/si/features/2002/swimsuit/images/home/main.jpg) [faking surprise]Ohmigod! I won! I can’t believe it![/fs] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-now-for-the-doper-beauty-pageant/203881.md?page=2)