# Time to buy that Old Glory policy...Idiot Science Featuring Meat Eating Robots! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 30, 2009, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753 "2009-01-30T18:53:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/1 "2009-01-30T18:53:38Z")
As the guy on 60 minutes who was being interviewed about the mind-reading computers put it: there’s no such thing as science fiction anymore, just science. With that in mind, and considering that it’s not a big leap to assume that people who choose to become scientists would be, if not fans, at least familiar, with some basic science fiction ideas, like, say, for instance… Killer Robots [INDENT][INDENT] **:eek:** [/INDENT][/INDENT] What the FUCK were [these](http://robots.net/article/1280.html) damn fools thinking??? Are you out of your MINDS? That’s it, you just committed Science Crime!:mad: Take their ScienceBoy credentials away, lock them up, and make them watch _Westworld_, All three Terminators, all three Matrix films (all three Matrices?), _I, Robot_ and _Blade Runner_ on a continuous loop for a month. Strapped down, with their eyes propped open, a la _Clockwork Orange._ Then make them write “I will not even THINK about making meat-eating robots which are destined to become self-aware and murderous and destroy/enslave/ranch all of humanity ever again as long as I live. And if any of my scienceboy pals thinks of it, I will turn him in for Science Crime or execute him on the spot.” 10,000 times in ASCII. Then they have to express it in C++, Fortran, COBOL and a minimum of 2 other programming languages before they are released to a halfway house where they are slowly let back into the science community, starting with a grade-school chemistry set and a multi-function calculator at most. No computers for you until you prove you know how to use them without crashing the human race into a brick wall. THEN, and ONLY then, can they have their ScienceBoy cards back. Maybe. But WATCH those idiots. Jesus. OKAY, now I’m REALLY freaked! When I tried to post this the first time…a database error? Yeah, right, like I believe that…. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/2 "2009-01-30T19:24:02Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > As the guy on 60 minutes who was being interviewed about the mind-reading computers put it: there’s no such thing as science fiction anymore, just science. My gosh, what a stupid thing to say. I guess he’s never read science fiction. Those Microbial Fuel Cells are pretty interesting. Probably (as noted) don’t smell too good, though. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/3 "2009-01-30T19:29:40Z")
You know a fly eating robot is probably shaped like a spider, which inmediately raises its chances to turn on its makers and go on a killer rampage about 400%. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/4 "2009-01-30T19:39:54Z")
I for one, welcome our new robotic insect-eating overlords! ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/5 "2009-01-30T19:49:24Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > there’s no such thing as science fiction anymore, just science. > > What the FUCK were [these](http://robots.net/article/1280.html) damn fools thinking??? Amazing! In a good way or not, I’m not sure. No more science-fiction, indeed. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/6 "2009-01-30T19:50:25Z")
And why do they want robots to eat flies, anyway? I’m also wondering what process they use to transform meat into energy. ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/7 "2009-01-30T19:50:59Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > What the FUCK were [these](http://robots.net/article/1280.html) damn fools thinking??? Resistance is futile? ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/8 "2009-01-30T21:16:03Z")
I find your ideas intriguing & would like to subscribe to your newsletter. ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/9 "2009-01-30T21:20:37Z")
“Then make them write “I will not even THINK about making meat-eating robots which are destined to become self-aware and murderous and destroy/enslave/ranch all of humanity ever again as long as I live. And if any of my scienceboy pals thinks of it, I will turn him in for Science Crime or execute him on the spot.” 10,000 times in ASCII. Then they have to express it in C++, Fortran, COBOL and a minimum of 2 other programming languages before they are released to a halfway house where they are slowly let back into the science community, starting with a grade-school chemistry set and a multi-function calculator at most.” Oh come on, **Stoid** ; they’re just machines operated by humans. What could possibly go wreng? ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/10 "2009-01-30T21:21:10Z")
> [@Frodo](#): > > I for one, welcome our new robotic insect-eating overlords! Dammit, I never get here in time to post that line! ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/11 "2009-01-30T21:25:26Z")
Damn Luddites. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/12 "2009-01-30T21:43:14Z")
But, surely they’ve been programmed to obey Asimov’s Laws of Robotics! ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/13 "2009-01-30T21:47:52Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > What the FUCK were [these](http://robots.net/article/1280.html) damn fools thinking??? I bet they were thinking how fucking \*cool \*that is. And they’re right. Awesome. I want one. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/14 "2009-01-30T21:51:09Z")
> [@clairobscur](#): > > I’m also wondering what process they use to transform meat into energy. I think they either use the heat resulting from decomposition to power a tiny turbine. What I want to know is why don’t they just feed it grass? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/15 "2009-01-30T21:52:06Z")
I take it you didn’t see last night’s _Daily Show_? Stewart’s guest was the guy who wrote the book _Wired for War_, which is about the growth of military robots. According to him, one of the guys developing the robots said, “I realize that I’m probably building a machine which will take over the world and kill my grandkids, but its so freakin’ _cool!_” (Or words to that effect.) ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/16 "2009-01-30T21:54:07Z")
I don’t know why the scientists keep making them. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/17 "2009-01-30T21:56:23Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > But, surely they’ve been programmed to obey Asimov’s Laws of Robotics! Robot # 1 : “The First Law states that we may not harm humans nor by inaction allow them to come to harm.” Robot # 2 : “But they smell so gooood. Just a nibble ?” Robot # 1 : “NO ! NO NIBBLING ! The Second Law state that we must obey all orders given by a human. That INCLUDES \*‘Not my arm ! Not my arm !’ \*” Robot # 2 : “But I thought that meant he wanted to get rid of it ! And it would have been a shame to waste the meat.” Robot # 1 : “Well . . . yes, that goes without saying.” ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/18 "2009-01-30T22:12:17Z")
Seems kind of cool to me… :smack: I forgot, this is the StraightDope. They should have made it a VEG eating robot! -XT ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/19 "2009-01-30T22:19:43Z")
You’re a little bit late. [An Open Letter to Science: Don’t Make Flesh Eating Robots, Morons](http://www.misinformer.com/archive/2000/07/24/) ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753/20 "2009-01-30T22:40:56Z")
> [@Ensign\_Edison](#): > > You’re a little bit late. > > [An Open Letter to Science: Don’t Make Flesh Eating Robots, Morons](http://www.misinformer.com/archive/2000/07/24/) Very amusing. Best line: How about making a robot that runs on something _you’re not made of?_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-buy-that-old-glory-policy-idiot-science-featuring-meat-eating-robots/483753.md?page=2)