# Time to change your sig (the votes are in)

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [March 1, 2000, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373 "2000-03-01T07:18:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 19\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/41 "2000-03-02T03:52:00Z")

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Woo! I won Most Likely to Use Tests to Pad Post Count. I also came in second in Most Mundane in MPSIMS and third in Most Likely to post just to increase post count. I think those are the only categories I got more than 2 votes in.

* * *

Your Official Cat Goddess since 10/20/99.

_SD chat:_  
**\<Jophiel\>** Kat’s here! the board must be down!

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/42 "2000-03-02T06:04:00Z")

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Zette, I know exactly what you mean about being touched . . . .

Thanks to you all. “Best Moderator” (hmm, shall perhaps have to add “Emeritus” to that), and second in Good Citizen, Female. Wow! Thanks.

-Melin

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/43 "2000-03-02T06:26:00Z")

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I think I was only nominated for one category. But, I won it, and I must say I’m truly flattered. 🙂

Adam

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**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/44 "2000-03-02T07:19:00Z")

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Somehow, someday, I wish I may, I wish I might,  
maybe win one o’ these things.  
Even if it’s bad, like the one that Konrad won.  
Then again, that would suck, as nothin’ is better than somethin’ bad.  
Too bad they didn’t have a category called Most likely to put “noonch” in every thread.  
😃

* * *

how did it start? well i don’t know i just feel the craving. i see the flesh and it smells fresh and it’s just there for the taking…  
VvvV  
“Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.”

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**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/45 "2000-03-02T12:54:00Z")

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There was a joke made in the “Movies: do bad guys win?” thread about me. I had mentioned the movie _Dr. Strangelove_ and several posts later, someone says, “I can’t believe that no one has mentioned _Dr. Strangelove_.” Someone else then says, “So what is Wendell Wagner? Chopped liver?”

I can’t win for losing. I am the shortest male poster. I may be the shortest poster, period. I’m a little under 4’11". I’ve mentioned this fact in at least three posts, so you can’t say that you didn’t know this. For heaven’s sake, OpalCat, you’ve met me at one of the Baltimore/Washington Doper meetings, so you can verify this. Tallest/shortest/oldest/youngest poster is a pretty stupid thing to vote on in any case. The other categories are things that can be determined from posts, but who is the tallest/shortest/oldest/youngest can’t even be guessed at from one’s posts.

I’ve always known that people ignored me because I’m short, but this shows that I’m so invisible that I can’t even win a contest in the one category that causes people to ignore me.

Wendell “Chopped liver” Wagner

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**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/46 "2000-03-02T13:32:00Z")

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You think you got problems, Wendell?

Have a look at my “victory.”

Scary, huh?

* * *

Voted as the poster you’d most like to meet.

I demand a recount.

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**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/47 "2000-03-02T14:01:00Z")

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Well, I now have the pressure of not going into the well-known “Sophomore Slump” in not one, but 2 separate categories.

That’s a lot of pressure. And if I crack, I’m taking every single one of you with me on the fast train to Where Are They Now town.

* * *

Voted Rookie of the Year in MPSIMs and the Pit, along with Best One-liners.  
And I don’t plan on keeping this as my sig for long, just until the winning buzz wears off.

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**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/48 "2000-03-02T14:52:00Z")

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Well, cool. I won twice!

Of course, since one of the catagories was “Shameless Self Promoter”, I’d like to go ahead and…

**DANCE!!!**

\< doin’ the Harlem shuffle \>

I won…I won…I won…

* * *

You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing.

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**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\
**Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/49 "2000-03-03T02:23:00Z")

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_sigh_ my “least shy” title has been stripped from me…

* * *

–  
“it’s all real”  
“I KNEW IT!!!”  
O p a l C a t  
[www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com)

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**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\
**Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/50 "2000-03-03T02:34:00Z")

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I’m sorry Opal.

But I’m still really, really glad I won. 😛

* * *

" The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference."  
Elie Wiesel

Winner SDMB Biggest Flirt (Female) and Least Shy (No Mom, I have no idea why they think that)

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**Author:** ![Carl\_Berry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@Carl\_Berry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carl_Berry)\
**Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/51 "2000-03-03T03:06:00Z")

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I demand to see CatBiker’s birth certificate! Mine reads 4/19/37.  
I demand a recount!  
Realy Old  
Zymurgist

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/52 "2000-03-03T06:54:00Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Originally posted by WallyM7:  
> \*\*You think you got problems, Wendell?
> 
> Have a look at my “victory.”
> 
> Scary, huh?
> 
> \*\*

::flutters eyelashes at Wally:: _I_ voted for you in that category.

-Melin  
(Of course, I voted more than once . . . .)

* * *

Who is NOT Straight Dope Staff

Siamese attack puppet – California

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**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\
**Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/53 "2000-03-03T15:10:00Z")

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Ummm, “Biggest Flirt” **and** “Mr. Congeniality”? I think winning those two categories should also qualify me for “Most Pointless.” Anybody wanna sign my yearbook?

* * *

_Here’s mud in yer eye!_  
Yer pal, UncleBeer.

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**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\
**Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/54 "2000-03-03T16:14:00Z")

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Hmmmm. Runner up for Sexiest. pretty cool. Especially since I was in the running with some major babes. Thanks guys. Congrats to all the winners. Thanks Opal, that was alot of fun.

* * *

This life is a test. It is only a test. If it had been an actual life, you would have received further instructions on where to go and what to do.

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**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/55 "2000-03-06T06:14:00Z")

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Well, I didn’t win anything, but I’m just happy as a clam that I even got nominated for something. Much less have anyone vote for me.

I expect an email from all four of you who voted for me as “Person you’d most like to date”

What? Only one person voted for me, you just voted 4 times?

And you live in Latvia?

And you’re married?

## Umm. never mind then…

…in a state so nonintuitive it can only be called weird…

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**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\
**Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/56 "2000-03-05T22:51:00Z")

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I think I have a pretty good lock on Tallest Male Poster at 6’9". Any challengers?

* * *

It’s not how you pick your nose, it’s where you put the boogers

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**Author:** ![Louie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c68b51/32.png) [@Louie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Louie)\
**Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/57 "2000-03-05T23:13:00Z")

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Wait…

_UBB code master_?

I don’t know UBB. I’m Mr. HTML. I made a freaking HTML tutorial for crying out loud.

Oh well, at least I didn’t win “most reliably inaccurate”. Whew 😛

* * *

_Louie: young guy, possibly a bit green, but smart as paint._ - Greg Charles

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**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/58 "2000-03-06T03:30:00Z")

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Three beats behind the measure as usual, but I didn’t catch the “Female you most want to meet” thing until Wally keruffled about winning the male counterpart.

::shakes head in total stupefication::

Why do I catch myself fervidly humming godawful versions of that yucky old “Only in America” song…“only on SDMB…whatever, whatever, whatever”. I don’t remember the tune or original lyrics well enough but there’s a likely place in there for rising from total obscurity to near-total obscurity.

Stumbling off, befuddled,  
Veb

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**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373/59 "2000-03-06T03:40:00Z")

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Well, what can I say. You almost thought I was the most addicted to chat. You almost wanted to meet me. You almost wanted to date me.

But you decided I was the youngest, instead. Even if I’m not.

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-change-your-sig-the-votes-are-in/14373.md?page=2)
