# Time To Dismember (Rants of September){OLD} **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 1, 2023, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475 "2023-09-01T19:48:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2023, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/341 "2023-09-19T00:29:42Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > You’re violating his constitutional rights by choosing to wear a mask yourself? What? If the last 8 years have taught me nothing else, it’s how impervious to logic some of my fellow citizens are. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2023, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/342 "2023-09-19T00:32:18Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Good parenting! That’s what’s it all about, whether dealing with kids or with dogs. Or some form of advanced stealth technology. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2023, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/343 "2023-09-19T00:48:30Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > My mother was obsessed with bowel movements. My mom’s obsession was limit to bowel movements as sign of illness, towit, if I was ever in the bathroom for more than 5 minutes, my mom would knock on the door and say, “are you sick?” “No, mom, just pinching a loaf, thanks.” ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2023, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/344 "2023-09-19T00:56:05Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > My mom’s obsession was limit to bowel movements as sign of illness, towit, if I was ever in the bathroom for more than 5 minutes, my mom would knock on the door and say, “are you sick?” “Sick of people interrupting my poopoo time!” ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2023, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/345 "2023-09-19T00:57:43Z")
> [@InternetLegend](#): > > the urban legends my aunt kept forwarding to me… were not accurate. My mom: “Isn’t that a sweet story I sent you?” Me: “Yeah, if it weren’t for the fact that it’s NOT TRUE.” Ma: “Well, it should be…” ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2023, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/346 "2023-09-19T00:59:08Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I rejoiced when she was hit by a truck in a hospital parking lot. Sadly, she recovered. Barely worth all those hours getting your CDL… ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2023, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/347 "2023-09-19T03:46:07Z")
> [@digs](#): > > My mom: “Isn’t that a sweet story I sent you?” > Me: “Yeah, if it weren’t for the fact that it’s NOT TRUE.” > Ma: “Well, it should be…” I swear I’ve had that same exchange with my mom. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2023, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/348 "2023-09-19T04:38:43Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > > [@wolfpup](#): > > > > Good parenting! That’s what’s it all about, whether dealing with kids or with dogs. > > Or some form of advanced stealth technology. A couple of years after we moved into our first house as young adults, a neighbor we’d become friends with told us that our curmudgeonly next-door neighbor had mentioned to her that he was suspicious of us because we were always having parties. She asked him if we were too loud, and he said, “No! That’s just it - they’ll have ten or fifteen people over and you don’t hear a sound! Do you think it’s drugs?” I’d been very proud of how well we kept a lid on noise, since most of the neighbors were our parents’ age. Little did I know we were **too** quiet. ---
**Author:** ![Kelevra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/97f17d/32.png) [@Kelevra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kelevra)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2023, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/349 "2023-09-19T13:32:56Z")
> [@slalexan](#): > > TL;DR - The toddler has pooping problems and the doctor isn’t helpful. I don’t know what to do next. My son is 10. He’s been on miralax for 5 years. The doctor said at some point he will listen to his body and poop when he feels it instead of trying not to go. Reducing his dairy intake has helped a lot (and don’t give him miralax with milk-the doc said it essentially negates it). His issues really started in school because little kids all look under the stall door when someone is in there trying to poop. He refuses to poop at school still. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2023, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/350 "2023-09-19T13:58:29Z")
I saw my gf frantically working on her phone and when I asked what was up, she shuuushed me. When she finished her phone thing she pumped her fist in the air. I was curious. Turns out a friend had called her and mentioned an upcoming concert. She suggested we come, and my gf said she’d buy four tickets and they could buy dinner before the concert. She managed to get very good seats and was excited. I asked who we were seeing and she told me, “Don McLean, I loved the Eagles!!” So, I had to tell her Don McLean wasn’t with the Eagles, he was the American Pie and Vincent guy. Boy, did I burst her bubble. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2023, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/351 "2023-09-19T14:03:16Z")
> [@digs](#): > > > [@Chefguy](#): > > > > I rejoiced when she was hit by a truck in a hospital parking lot. Sadly, she recovered. > > Barely worth all those hours getting your CDL… For ground combat, choosing your battleground is half the battle. Had it been a Wal\*Mart parking lot the end result might have been _much_ better. 🙂 My wacky in-law used to be a professional pilot. When she quit to be a SAHM I was really upset. There are so-oo many ways to get hurt or killed working around serious industrial machinery whether by accident or “accident”. SAHM’s miss out on all that exposure. Damn. ---
**Author:** ![slalexan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@slalexan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slalexan)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2023, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/352 "2023-09-19T14:04:02Z")
Thanks for your suggestions, everyone. I didn’t even think about soy. This is going to be really tough. I might look for a second opinion next because I honestly don’t know what to do with the boy. Even on miralax, he wasn’t pooping normally, it was just more frequent. It’s either constipation or diarrhea. He basically never poops normal poops. But, at least last night, he slept. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2023, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/353 "2023-09-19T15:23:45Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > So, I had to tell her Don McLean wasn’t with the Eagles, he was the American Pie and Vincent guy. Boy, did I burst her bubble. She must have confused him with Don Henley. Henley is pretty awesome, so I’d understand if she was so excited thinking she got tickets with good seats to see him. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2023, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/354 "2023-09-19T15:25:47Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > She must have confused him with Don Henley. Yep. And she really doesn’t like American Pie or Vincent. I think I’ll have a good time, though. ---
**Author:** ![PackerMan2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/packerman2/32/2894_2.png) [@PackerMan2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PackerMan2)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2023, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/355 "2023-09-19T16:06:37Z")
Even if you don’t use it, download the Instacart app. You can go through the store you are shopping at and add the items to your cart. Then remove them as you have picked them up. It makes pre-shopping and putting a list together easier. You will also get a good idea of what might be out of stock or on sale. I also find I have fewer impulse purchases. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2023, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/356 "2023-09-19T23:20:38Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > My mother was obsessed with bowel movements. My mother is of that generation that views anything other than a single bowel movement at the same time every day as a sign of severe illness. Doesn’t matter whether you had a nice salad for lunch and some grilled chicken for dinner one day, then spent the next day gorging on pork barbecue and booze – the resulting movements should be exactly the same, and take place at the same time each day. Anything deviating from the pattern of regularity is a sign of food-borne illness, or worse. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2023, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/357 "2023-09-20T02:19:02Z")
Getting off the subject of bowels,… my hip; not hip, but the muscle around it, has been sore for almost a week. I decided to get a dr. Appointment for tomorrow. Maybe they can give me a shot or muscle relaxer. Natch, the boss wants everyone there tomorrow. If you don’t come, good bye and good luck. No wonder they are having trouble with management and crew quitting, and delaying the opening. But thats not my biggest upset. I’m still devastated that the Guy says he wants me, but I’d make him sick. I’d known him for 7 years, had always put him in the friend zone, and then 2 years ago realized he was quite attractive, no drugs, decent guy. We made a go at it, not sure what went wrong, now I believe I want no one else. He doesn’t have empirical evidence vaxxed peeps make him sick, its subjective, I think hes imagining it. He does, or did last week, want me. I am not dealing with this well. A person on a different social media says if I detox, by taking hydrpchlor-something and zinc or invermectin, it will make me non contagious. Though my ex, the one with MS, never got sick from touching me. Thanks for letting me complain.I wish I hadn’t gotten vaxxed, I almost didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2023, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/358 "2023-09-20T02:23:29Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > He doesn’t have empirical evidence vaxxed peeps make him sick, its subjective, I think hes imagining it. Of course he’s imagining it. At risk of sounding judgmental, he’s sounds like a low-information nutcase, and I wonder about the wisdom of you hooking up with him. But that’s entirely your business, not mine. Best of luck, sincerely. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2023, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/359 "2023-09-20T02:23:40Z")
Did you strain your hip muscle during a particularly difficult bowel movement? ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2023, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475/360 "2023-09-20T02:30:17Z")
Thank you pup. Hes a CT. On the day of the insurrection, he was out walking with a huge flag saying they were going to drag the traitors out of the capitol. I know. He is knowledgeable. Hes the only other person I know who knows what the Frankian Sabbatians are. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-to-dismember-rants-of-september-old/989475.md?page=19)