# Time travel for fun and profit **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 8, 2007, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-travel-for-fun-and-profit/391429 "2007-02-08T23:33:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-travel-for-fun-and-profit/391429/21 "2007-02-09T13:23:48Z")
If you like bacon, not so much. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-travel-for-fun-and-profit/391429/22 "2007-02-09T13:31:43Z")
I’d go back and buy Manhattan Island. ---
**Author:** ![Slypork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-travel-for-fun-and-profit/391429/23 "2007-02-09T18:00:32Z")
I wouldn’t even have to go back to before my birth. I’d travel to 1967, and take the place of Melvin Dummar and pick up the hitchhiking Howard Hughes. I’d be very specific with Howard about how the will should be written and where it should be placed. Then when I got back to the present I would find the “lost will” and be $156 million richer. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-travel-for-fun-and-profit/391429/24 "2007-02-09T18:57:36Z")
Ok, just figured it out. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve had a secret code-word that any older guy speaking would instantly clue me in that it was me from the future. I’d then trust him in what stocks to buy with my paper route money and what industry to invest in. I’d just go to my mom’s house the year before I was born. While the family is on vacation I’d slip a hand-written note into a book in our bookshelf that I know I’m going to read. I’d do this while we were at school and mom was at work, heck we never locked our doors ever and I could pose as a meter reader if push came to shove, hell I’m almost a twin of my dad so the neighbors would just think it’s him coming back because he forget something. For extra security I’d tape a copy of the note to one of the rafters in the attic that only I explored and viola! I’d appear back in the future on the grounds of my vast estate. And just to be a nice guy, I’d buy the Chicago Reader and put up the 'Dope on the best darn server there is and never charge for membership! Actually, if I met a guy who said “I’m you, but older” I’d probubly reply “Can you buy me some beer?” ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-travel-for-fun-and-profit/391429/25 "2007-02-10T00:26:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Well I guess because the first listed rule of this game is > > “You can travel to any time preceding your own birth.” D’oh! I misread that as “You _can’t_ travel to any time preceding your own birth.”, which is often a condition (why, I don’t know) on hypothetical time machines. In that case, the problem is twofold: First, how to gain capitol for the “investment”, even if only the dollar to buy a lotto ticket, or whatever, and second, how to transfer the wealth from the past to the present. Both are made considerably easier if you have a trusting and trustworthy accomplice in the past, so I think **Shagnasty** probably has the edge, here. Unfortunately, most blokes who’d be willing to take investment advice from someone they’d known for less than six hours would probably end up losing the money again before they made it all the way to the present. I think probably my best bet would be to look up loads of information on the world-class surgeon who’s going to be operating on my mom. I’d find out where he hung out, during his sparse free time in college or med school, and find a time he’d be sure to be there. I’d then research some event or another which would happen the next day, but which I’d have no possible way of knowing, at the time (possibly the exact scores of a few sporting events, say… Probably not lotto numbers, because winning might make him give up working for a living). I then hop back and show up at the campus bar, and make him a bar bet on those rare events-- the terms, of course, being that if I’m right, and if he should ever happen to perform an operation on Mrs. Momsname Here, that he’d do it for free (I’d have to weasel out of having to ante up anything for this bet-- One reason why it’d be advantageous to present this while he’s well-lubricated). It’d be out-there enough that I’d probably get him to agree, just for the Hell of it, and I’d make sure he signed a piece of paper to that effect. I’d then secret away the paper somewhere where I could find it in the present. The day after I visit him, the doctor-in-training sees that, lo and behold, the games went exactly as I predicted, and has a “whoa, dude” moment. Thirty years later, someone actually presents him the original deal he signed, and he’s sufficiently spooked/awed/impressed to perform the operation. ---
**Author:** ![as\_u\_wish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@as\_u\_wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/as_u_wish)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-travel-for-fun-and-profit/391429/26 "2007-02-10T01:25:25Z")
Are we allowed to work as a team? Because it seems to me the sensible thing would be to plot this out with my family. For example, we could have my children go back before THEY were born to times when I was making financial decisions and tell me to invest in certain ways, buy a particular piece of property, or whatever. I could give them some information that might convince me they were magical or angelic. Perhaps they ask for an envelop and make some prediction, write a date on it, and suggest that I open it on that date and if it’s correct, then I should take certain actions. I’m pretty gullible and would probably take a flyer on their advice if I thought it was a magical angel type being. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-travel-for-fun-and-profit/391429/27 "2007-02-10T01:53:32Z")
1. Go to a library that has archives of old newspapers. Pick a date from 5 years before you were born. Carefully scan every classified ad, looking for one that contains the phrase “Help Me Obi-wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope!” and what looks like a lottery number. If you find such an ad, go out and buy a lottery ticket with that number. If you don’t find such an ad, proceed to step 2. 2. Wait for the current winning lottery number to be announced. 3. Memorize the winning lottery number. Change your clothes into your period costume. Travel back in time to a few days before the date you picked. 4. Walk into a pawn shop. Pawn your period-appropriate watch. 5. Walk into the newspaper office and buy a classified ad for the special date. It should read “Help Me Obi-wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope!” and contain the winning lottery number. 6. Return to the present and cash in your winning lottery ticket. Pay for your Mom’s operation. Easy-peasy. ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-travel-for-fun-and-profit/391429/28 "2007-02-10T05:01:00Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] Okay, okay, fine. I’d go back to 1598 and tell a young William Shakespeare–or anyone in possession of a copy–to store their [_Love’s Labour’s Won_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love%27s_Labour%27s_Won) in a very, very safe place. [/QUOTE] Don’t forget _Cardenio_! (I’m a Nine girl, myself. ;)) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/time-travel-for-fun-and-profit/391429.md?page=1)