# Times Square fucknuts-wannabe bomber **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 3, 2010, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158 "2010-05-03T15:53:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/1 "2010-05-03T15:53:36Z")
[If anybody’s going to blow up Times Square I call dibs.](http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/04/nyregion/04bomb.html?hp) I thought that was well understood, and if I need to, I will explain point by point why it should be me. I hate walking through crowds of rubbernecking tourists who think the flashing lights and ugly shit are _soooo_ amazing. I mean, where else can you go to see big screens? Other than going home and watching TV, or going to the movies, or holding your iPhone really close to your eyes (and why not, it’s not like you’re looking where you’re going anyway). Shiny shit! Wow! Anyway, here’s an obligatory but hearty FUCK YOU to the guy who tried to set off a bomb in front of the Viacom building over the weekend. I will deliver the fuck you in person if possible, since I was stranded underground on the subway for a fucking hour because of this shit brained stunt. That much more so if he left his SUV full of firecrackers and dirt in front of Viacom because of that idiotic South Park thing. I used to work there, not that it really matters, but leaving a bomb over a cartoon? That’s so 2005. What next, are you going to bitch about your parents on LiveJournal? [Of course that whole motive will probably turn out to be crap.] And what the fuck kind of mental defective drives a carbomb into Times Square and thinks nobody’s going to notice? There are cameras everywhere, and when somebody hastily abandons a car with smoke pouring out of it it tends to attract a little fucking attention! And you’re in Times Square, so it’s not like there aren’t going to be witnesses. During his getaway, this guy probably walked through 15 groups of tourists holding up traffic by taking pictures on the street. In the guy’s favor, I guess he didn’t stop his fruity suitcase on wheels right in front of a pedestrian when he cleverly changed his shirt. If he’d put on a pair of glasses he would’ve been _unrecognizable!_ It’s a matter of time until this guy gets caught, so I hope you enjoy being locked up near Zacarias Moussaoui, Richard Reid, Umar Abdulmutallab. Like them you’ll wind up as one of history’s lame-ass loser terrorists. Thanks for playing, idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/2 "2010-05-03T16:11:19Z")
You’ve managed to create a cogent and trenchant bitch-out of terrorists and terrorism _without once using_ the words freedom, America, Islam, 9/11, homeland, or security. Only in New York… ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/3 "2010-05-03T16:26:23Z")
I approve of the OP’s rant. And especially because of what **Beware of Doug** noticed. GJ, **Marley23**. ---
**Author:** ![Indyellen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/indyellen/32/4176_2.png) [@Indyellen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indyellen)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/4 "2010-05-03T16:29:57Z")
I find your ideas interesting, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/5 "2010-05-03T16:33:03Z")
Wait, I was out of town all weekend and missed the bulk of the reporting on this. Was it really over the South Park episode? ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/6 "2010-05-03T16:36:35Z")
I wonder if he was really headed to 45th and B-way, or did his incompetent mix of semi-combustibles start smoking, forcing him to abandon his SUV there? ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/7 "2010-05-03T16:48:45Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > In the guy’s favor, I guess he didn’t stop his fruity suitcase on wheels right in front of a pedestrian when he cleverly changed his shirt. If he’d put on a pair of glasses he would’ve been _unrecognizable!_ Well, all the _professional_ bombers know to use the Groucho Marx glasses. It’s the mustache, ya see. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/8 "2010-05-03T16:57:06Z")
Thanks, people, but to use the lingo, this guy is a soft target. If you locked him in a room with any of the people who were on the subway with me I think he’d be begging for Gitmo. > [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Was it really over the South Park episode? It’s total speculation. It makes a conveniently sensational story, so the press is rolling with it as a possibility, but I’d guess it’s got about a 40 percent chance of being true. ---
**Author:** ![lazybratsche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ba8739/32.png) [@lazybratsche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lazybratsche)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/9 "2010-05-03T16:59:37Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Wait, I was out of town all weekend and missed the bulk of the reporting on this. Was it really over the South Park episode? There’s no direct connection. Just the old threats on some website against the creators of South Park. Now, this “car bomb”, which was set up in front of Viacom’s building. Viacom owns Comedy Central, which airs South Park. It’s conceivable that there could be a connection, but as of yet there’s no evidence that it’s anything more than a coincidence. ---
**Author:** ![enigmatic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@enigmatic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enigmatic)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/10 "2010-05-03T18:40:08Z")
> [@](#): > > Was it really over the South Park episode? Well ordinarily I’d tend to discount the South Park thing on the basis of the time that something like this would take to plan and execute properly, but the key word there is _properly_ ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/11 "2010-05-03T19:07:16Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > one of history’s lame-ass loser terrorists On the radio this morning they said that the bomb contained “fertilizer, just not the sort that blows up”. I’m thinking Miracle Gro :smack: ---
**Author:** ![lazybratsche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ba8739/32.png) [@lazybratsche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lazybratsche)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/12 "2010-05-03T19:53:18Z")
I kind of get the impression that this guy was trying to make ANFO (the stuff used in the Oklahoma City bombing). Except that he only had a vague recollection that fuel + fertilizer + detonator = explosive. Well… gas can? check. Bag of Miracle Gro? Check. A firecracker outta set it all off… now just duct tape it all together… might as well toss in those old propane cylinders for the hell of it… presto, bomb, right? I have to admit that I’m comforted by the stupidity and incompetence of our enemies. Ah well, more evidence for the “[terrorists are dumb](http://www.slate.com/id/2211994)” hypothesis… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/13 "2010-05-03T21:13:37Z")
If this was Al Qida, I’d be pleased that they were losing their touch for mayhem. Except, it wasn’t. Just some Dippy Jeemy, with a busted brain & crotch crickets, & a grudge against the world. He’ll be caught quick. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/14 "2010-05-03T21:26:38Z")
Anybody guess what the whole shirt change was about? It’s not like he slipped down a back alley and changed there. He changed right on the street.😕 ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/15 "2010-05-03T21:32:23Z")
I don’t think there’s any chance whatsoever that it was Al Qaeda. They would’ve used something that actually had the potential to explode. ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2010, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/16 "2010-05-04T04:09:32Z")
And MSNBC is just now reporting a man is in custody. A Pakistani-American from Connecticut has been taken into custody on Long Island. ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2010, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/17 "2010-05-04T06:41:04Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > You’ve managed to create a cogent and trenchant bitch-out of terrorists and terrorism… Cite? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2010, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/18 "2010-05-04T10:10:01Z")
> [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](#): > > And MSNBC is just now reporting a man is in custody. A Pakistani-American from Connecticut has been taken into custody on Long Island. What a shock: the guy couldn’t pull off the getaway either. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2010, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/19 "2010-05-04T12:06:56Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > What a shock: the guy couldn’t pull off the getaway either. The ones in London made their getaway in a fucking rickshaw. Al Qaeda is a franchise, sometimes an affiliation, sometimes just an idea or a namecheck. There’s no guarantee of devastating impact, and nor is an Al Qaeda cell always likely to be a sinister grouping of highly trained spooks. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2010, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158/20 "2010-05-04T14:30:25Z")
> [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](#): > > And MSNBC is just now reporting a man is in custody. A Pakistani-American from Connecticut has been taken into custody on Long Island. [Article.](http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/05/nyregion/05bomb.html?hp) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-square-fucknuts-wannabe-bomber/538158.md?page=2)