# times you coulda got laid but didn't, by choice or design **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 28, 2010, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615 "2010-04-28T12:48:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/21 "2010-04-28T19:26:28Z")
I could have had sex with a crack-addicted friend of a friend. She wasn’t very attractive, but she was a red-head and very physically rough, a biter. It probably would have been a wild ride… but I think I made the right choice. Nothing else other than that. I wasn’t popular with the ladies in college (or ever, but I do OK now). ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/22 "2010-04-28T19:36:53Z")
About 20 years ago I worked with a girl who was totally hot. We became pretty close friends, and were always very huggy and flirty, but I never seriously considered taking things further. One day, out of the blue and completely serious, she said to me, “You know what, we should have sex sometime!” My reply _should_ have been, “Right now’s good for me. Who’s apartment is closer?” Thing is, though, I was kinda-sorta dating someone. We’d only gone out a couple times and had no arrangement whatsoever regarding exclusivity. Still, I had some hopes for that relationship and didn’t want to mess it up. So I kind of laughed it off like she was joking, even though I knew she wasn’t; I said something like, “Ah, you’re crazy, you know that?” Well, my “relationship” fizzled after only a couple of months, but in a cruel stroke of bad timing, my work friend had in the meantime met and fallen madly in love with the man she eventually married. **sigh** … All these years later I still regret not taking her up on that offer. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/23 "2010-04-28T19:38:57Z")
> [@Jolly\_Roger](#): > > I drank my beer and wondered why stuff like that didn’t happen when I was single. The gods are just screwing with you for their own amusement. > [@Agent\_Foxtrot](#): > > In the past, we had this female friend who was one of the guys. I was always super-attracted to her, but I didn’t think I was her type. One night at a party, she made me lick jelly off her nipple. Later on, I went upstairs, and she followed me, closed the door to my bedroom, and stripped. I was so shocked that I was frozen. After a minute, she put her clothes back on, said, " I wish something had happened just now," and left. I’ll never forgive myself for not going for it. What the…? How does the flowchart not go immediately from “Lick jelly off nipple,” to “Go to Crotch. Go directly to Crotch. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.” That’s like a Choose Your Own Adventure™ page that doesn’t even give you a choice; it just reads “Turn to page 25 and get it on!” Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Rafe\_Hollister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/fbc32d/32.png) [@Rafe\_Hollister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rafe_Hollister)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/24 "2010-04-28T21:57:32Z")
Last weekend I may have turned down the chance. This woman is about my age and is in a very similar occupation as me, but works for a different employer and our jobs sometimes overlap. A few months ago at a conference, she was a featured speaker and made lots of eye contact from the stage and once when everyone was watching a demonstration on the other side of the room, I looked at her and she smiled and winked. She lives in a town very near where my hunting property is and I have run into her there in town a couple times now. Saturday I was up there coming out of a grocery store as she was going in. She asked if my son was with me. I told her no and she smiled and asked if I had the hunting cabin to myself. I said that my brother-in-law was there with his son, so it was occupied. Then we talked of a job opening there in town that I would qualify for very easily and she asked if I was happy at my current position, because it’d sure be nice to have me up there. Just before we said goodbye, she said there was a fish fry in town that night and I should come back into town & go with her. I told her I was expected back at the cabin for grilled pork chops. Next time, I may take her up on it. I’d really like to have those big ol’ boobies in my face. ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/25 "2010-04-28T21:57:53Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > The gods are just screwing with you for their own amusement. They always have. > [@](#): > > What the…? How does the flowchart not go immediately from “Lick jelly off nipple,” to “Go to Crotch. Go directly to Crotch. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.” That’s like a Choose Your Own Adventure™ page that doesn’t even give you a choice; it just reads “Turn to page 25 and get it on!” > > Stranger Hahaha. I thought that too. If any girl I was attracted to pre-marriage had done that…well, I can’t think of a description thats not x-rated. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/26 "2010-04-28T22:21:02Z")
A friend of mine, who has completely given up on the hope of ever meeting a decent guy, told me several months ago that she isn’t interested in a relationship anymore, but would love the occasional roll in the hay, and that I was her best bet. I was engaged at the time, so I said no. Besides, I didn’t want to mess up the friendship. Not very exciting, but it’s one of the few times I have consciously turned down sex. (Now, there are several “Wait a second… Ohmigod, So-in-so all those years ago was trying to seduce me!” moments in my history. Ladies, sometimes ya just need to hit the guy with a brick.) ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/27 "2010-04-28T22:30:20Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > Not very exciting, but it’s one of the few times I have consciously turned down sex. (Now, there are several “Wait a second… Ohmigod, So-in-so all those years ago was trying to seduce me!” moments in my history. Ladies, sometimes ya just need to hit the guy with a brick.) GAWD!!! I second that! Ladies, sometimes you just need to come out and say it! There was a girl in college I hung out with as a friend, though I thought she was the most beautiful wonderful girl ever. I never made a move because I figured someone like her would never want someone like me in a relationship. Imagine my surprise years later _when she tells me she wanted to sleep with me because she was in love._! GAHHHH! **Why didn’t you just friggin’ say so?** Especially since ya knew how shy I was! ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/28 "2010-04-28T23:02:38Z")
> [@Jolly\_Roger](#): > > CalMeacham, before I got married I was almost convinced that women hated me save for the few girlfriends I did have prior to that. Afterwards alluva sudden that changed. Don’t ask me why. Its kind of annoying. I mean, where were you when I was single? You’re asking where **Cal** was when you were single??? ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/29 "2010-04-28T23:31:17Z")
I could of had a threesome once and I turned that down. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/30 "2010-04-29T00:07:09Z")
A month or so ago, a friend invited me to a threesome with him and his boyfriend. I said no mostly because I’m not attracted to my friend that way and because their relationship is rocky enough without adding something like that to it. ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/31 "2010-04-29T00:35:09Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > You’re asking where **Cal** was when you were single??? Um…no. Unless Cal is a really hot woman. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/32 "2010-04-29T00:47:14Z")
> [@Jolly\_Roger](#): > > It was a little after midnight. Suddenly threegirls in bikinis walk up to my table. Two of them stood back and the third stood in front of me and spoke. I’ll never forget these words. > > “Hi, my name is Anya (at least that what it sounded like her name was…she was as drunk as hell) and I am from Germany. This is the last night of my vacation and I am looking for someone to spend it with.” > > Now, even though she was drunk, she was smoking hot…and virtually naked in that skimpy bikini. My mind instantly had visions of sex on the beach, but alas, the wedding ring was to too heavy. It’s a good thing you said no. Later on you would’ve received a set of blackmail photos and eventually wound up having to fend off a murderous attack by [Wilford Brimley](http://api.ning.com/files/3owiIgPnVw7rRxv5nPprlvgCK5AuMGhPN2aySuUUQGlpllCB9AeIBUo46MYSqbw*dDY72dEeaf1AKimYNJFVkvWM*eovBD*B/diabetusua1.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/33 "2010-04-29T00:54:21Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > It’s a good thing you said no. > > Later on you would’ve received a set of blackmail photos and eventually wound up having to fend off a murderous attack by [Wilford Brimley](http://api.ning.com/files/3owiIgPnVw7rRxv5nPprlvgCK5AuMGhPN2aySuUUQGlpllCB9AeIBUo46MYSqbw*dDY72dEeaf1AKimYNJFVkvWM*eovBD*B/diabetusua1.jpg). You just made me watch a Diabeetus dance remix. I hate you. ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/34 "2010-04-29T01:54:22Z")
Well, last year I had a fellow I was getting to know fairly well as a friend invite me over to his dorm room to listen to a 5 hour radio show, and I have a feeling that may have also been an invite to the pants party. I declined because he was giving off creep vibes and I think I was right to. ---
**Author:** ![Jorge\_Burrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Jorge\_Burrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jorge_Burrito)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/35 "2010-04-29T02:19:16Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > What the…? How does the flowchart not go immediately from “Lick jelly off nipple,” to “Go to Crotch. Go directly to Crotch. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.” That’s like a Choose Your Own Adventure™ page that doesn’t even give you a choice; it just reads “Turn to page 25 and get it on!” > > Stranger Well apparently you can always just stop reading and put the book down. No clue why you would want to do that. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/36 "2010-04-29T05:18:31Z")
A couple of times I can think of. Was out at a party with a bunch of friends, we were all chilling and having fun but I had to duck out because I had work the next day, and my roomie (who was also there) was pretty drunk and needed to be taken home and poured into bed. The guy I’d been chatting with made it very clear he’d be willing to come home with us and spend the night… I turned him down regretfully (at the time, looking back it was probably for the better) because I didn’t want to be a complete zombie at work. Another time I was out with a really good friend at the time. She was getting pretty drunk and we were having a good time while my other roomie spun tunes (he was the DJ, so we’d gotten in free). Well both of us were pretty curious about things and she started kissing me, and I was enjoying it but I cut it off because she was engaged at the time and that’s a line I’m not willing to cross, besides that would have made things awkward I think… ---
**Author:** ![Cyberhwk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Cyberhwk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyberhwk)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/37 "2010-04-29T05:20:39Z")
Unfortunately, I’m in the odd situation of probably having turned down sex more than I’ve had it. Once with a girl I had just met online in college. She lived just down the street. We eventually decided to go out and I decided declining her offers was probably a good choice. Second, another friend that I turned down at one point because I just wasn’t comfortable with her. This rejection seemed to fuel an obsession on her part offering all kinds of freaky “services” to get me to agree. Third, a coworker was looking for a Babby’s Daddy. No thanks. Fourth, another coworker made we wait 15 minutes to go out as she smoked Meth in the bathroom. Then tried to invite me back in after we went out. Sad… ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/38 "2010-04-29T05:51:58Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > Not very exciting, but it’s one of the few times I have consciously turned down sex. (Now, there are several “Wait a second… Ohmigod, So-in-so all those years ago was trying to seduce me!” moments in my history. Ladies, sometimes ya just need to hit the guy with a brick.) > [@Jolly\_Roger](#): > > GAWD!!! I second that! Ladies, sometimes you just need to come out and say it! There was a girl in college I hung out with as a friend, though I thought she was the most beautiful wonderful girl ever. I never made a move because I figured someone like her would never want someone like me in a relationship. Imagine my surprise years later _when she tells me she wanted to sleep with me because she was in love._! GAHHHH! **Why didn’t you just friggin’ say so?** Especially since ya knew how shy I was! College class dinner, followed by mardi gras party (no flashed boobies though). I spend dinner chatting with the guy seated across from me. Then we chat some more. Then when it’s time to go to the club, we’re in the same cab and I grab his arm and snuggle. Then in the club, we spend some time together (R-rated, sadly). Then he up and disappears. About 12 people (out of a class of 79) come by and ask where the hell has he gotten to, I have no idea. Then he reappears, stinking of JB (the cheapest how-dare-they-call-it-whiskey in Spain), and asks me for a date. I tell him to ask me again when he’s sober and tell his pal holding the bottle to please stick that bottle up his… Years later, we run into each other in the cafeteria, some other people from the class are there too. He’s gotten himself a new nose… gone is his Roman nose, which went fine with his Roman features, traded in for a nose so average it can be called boring. Turns out he blamed his nose for his “lack of luck with girls”. Three out of the five girls present indicate we would have been happy to date him and we actually did like his nose. He glares at me and pouts that I turned him down. I specify, “no, I turned down your friend JB. Of course, you were probably too drunk to remember.” There’s a chorus of “ayup”. Sadly by the time he got that clue-by-four about “we’d like to date you, but your pal from the distillery is an ass” he was an alcoholic ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/39 "2010-04-29T07:27:14Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > When it ended, the credits ran, we were silent. She turned it off, stood up and started walking toward the stairs, turned around and said “I’m going to bed. Naked.” You really need to remember the name of the movie. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615/40 "2010-04-29T09:52:29Z")
Female, and as such when I was young and single could have gotten laid as easily as walking into any military bar, walking up to the guy of my choice and indicating my interest. I went out with plenty of friends in groups, and pretty much always got hit upon but I was not really into picking up random strangers for sex. I have actually dated a fair number of men, and slept with many of them but I don’t care to do random drunk sex, I prefer to go on a couple of dates to see if we have anything in common first. So, I would guess that I always could have _gotten_ laid, but I didn’t, deliberately. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/times-you-coulda-got-laid-but-didnt-by-choice-or-design/537615.md?page=3)