# Tipping...Am I a weird duck?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [March 30, 2010, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339 "2010-03-30T15:53:08Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/1 "2010-03-30T15:53:08Z")

</div>

I tip everyone…well, not EVERYONE but:

(provoked by a van driver tipping thread in this forum)

I tip hotel van drivers…usually $2 per trip. This happens quite a bit because I travel much for business.

I tip my hair cutter - $5 per cut (cost is $13 plus $5 tip)

I tip my daughters TEACHERS - at Christmas I give each of them a $25 Amazon gift card.

I tip my paperboy - at Christmas - usually $50.

Now, I don’t do this soley because I want to be a nice guy and think this is the right thing to do. I also do it because I want these people to think somewhat favorably of me because I may need them. Tipping the hair cutter may mean they spend a little more time doing a good job on my hair. The van driver may go out of his way for me if something happens (and this HAS happened to me more than once). I want my daughters teachers to know I appreciate them and so they will hopefully be more patient with my daughter when she needs help (and I know she can be trying at times).

Every once in awhile, I am reminded that I may be an outlier on this tipping thing. I LIKE the U.S. tipping culture.

So, am I a weird duck…or are there others like me out there on the Dope?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/2 "2010-03-30T15:58:29Z")

</div>

Doesn’t seem weird to me (other than the amount you give the paperboy… seems like a lot, but that’s just me.)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/3 "2010-03-30T16:05:03Z")

</div>

Other than the amount you tip your paperboy, I don’t think you’re weird. You’re likely in line with where I am.

I do like people to know that I appreciate good service, and I like to reward it.

I also tip delivery drivers (pizza, etc.) pretty well. My hope is that this gets communicated back at the pizza place, and that they wind up making me first on the delivery run. It does seem to help…my food often arrives well before the estimated time.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/4 "2010-03-30T16:05:03Z")

</div>

You’re on the too generous unless your well off fringe. It’s your money though so feel free to give to people you realy do want to. Giving because you feel extorted to do so is not right.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/5 "2010-03-30T16:21:23Z")

</div>

Tipping SCHOOL TEACHERS is appropriate?!?!?!?

Isn’t that tantamount to bribery … or at least pressure for the teacher to give a student a better grade? (Or, as the OP admits, hoping for the student to get better treatment.)

Perhaps my view is unusual, but I feel that during the school year, very small gifts - the classic “apple for the teacher” - seem appropriate. But a larger gift or tip should be reserved for the end of the year (_ **after** _ report cards are issued).

I had no idea my view was not the standard approach for Americans. When I was in Egypt, the Egyptians often gave very lavish gifts to teachers throughout the year. But I assumed that was a cultural thing and that Americans would never do that.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/6 "2010-03-30T16:26:03Z")

</div>

Holiday gifts for kids’ teachers aren’t unusual, as far as I know.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/7 "2010-03-30T16:37:21Z")

</div>

> [@CairoCarol](#):
>
> Tipping SCHOOL TEACHERS is appropriate?!?!?!?

I was a little weirded out last year when I taught and I received. . . a great deal of money in gift cards around Christmas time. Then I remembered that when I was a kid, my mom would always send my teachers a bags of homemade Christmas candy, little home knit things, etc. It was never a tip, but more of a little thank you.

The difference between what my mom did and what my kids do now is that my family wasn’t exactly rolling in dough, but now I work at a private school. So, I sort of look at it like- that $100 California Pizza Kitchen gift card is probably equivalent to my mom’s box of goodies as far as intent and ability of the giftee… if that makes sense at all?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/8 "2010-03-30T16:38:24Z")

</div>

> [@CairoCarol](#):
>
> Tipping SCHOOL TEACHERS is appropriate?!?!?!?
> 
> Isn’t that tantamount to bribery … or at least pressure for the teacher to give a student a better grade? (Or, as the OP admits, hoping for the student to get better treatment.)
> 
> Perhaps my view is unusual, but I feel that during the school year, very small gifts - the classic “apple for the teacher” - seem appropriate. But a larger gift or tip should be reserved for the end of the year (_ **after** _ report cards are issued).
> 
> I had no idea my view was not the standard approach for Americans. When I was in Egypt, the Egyptians often gave very lavish gifts to teachers throughout the year. But I assumed that was a cultural thing and that Americans would never do that.

While I understand your concern…$25 is not going to bribe anybody 🙂 However, if they have more patience with my daughter and help her learn better…that would be great! 🙂

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9e5f3/32.png) [@pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pretend_my_name_is_witty)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/9 "2010-03-30T16:45:00Z")

</div>

> [@DiosaBellissima](#):
>
> I was a little weirded out last year when I taught and I received. . . a great deal of money in gift cards around Christmas time. Then I remembered that when I was a kid, my mom would always send my teachers a bags of homemade Christmas candy, little home knit things, etc. It was never a tip, but more of a little thank you.
> 
> The difference between what my mom did and what my kids do now is that my family wasn’t exactly rolling in dough, but now I work at a private school. So, I sort of look at it like- that $100 California Pizza Kitchen gift card is probably equivalent to my mom’s box of goodies as far as intent and ability of the giftee… if that makes sense at all?

There was an [article on this](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8588733.stm) on the BBC News website the other day. Interesting read.

[This](http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2010/mar/26/teachers-gifts-presents) article by the Guardian seemed to come out at the same time - probably a slow news day.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/10 "2010-03-30T16:45:34Z")

</div>

> [@BlinkingDuck](#):
>
> While I understand your concern…$25 is not going to bribe anybody 🙂 However, if they have more patience with my daughter and help her learn better…that would be great! 🙂

No offense intended to the OP; I’m sure you have nothing untoward in mind.

However, I think it would be hugely inappropriate for a schoolteacher to alter his or her treatment of a student based on gifts, however large or small, from parents.

A $25 gift certificate may seem trivial to you, but what of a single mom with 3 kids in school who has just lost her job - shelling out $75 so that teachers “have more patience” with her kids would probably not be tenable. And it would be a lousy teacher whose attitude toward kids would change on this basis.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/11 "2010-03-30T16:53:07Z")

</div>

I eliminated my teacher sidetrack earlier. Thanks to CairoCarol I have to speak up and hope this doesn’t turn into a teacher debate. The present the teacher receives is likely something they have no use for. They would rather have you donate materials for students so they don’t personally spend hundreds a year supplementing the poor students that don’t have needed materials.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/12 "2010-03-30T16:58:19Z")

</div>

> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#):
>
> IThe present the teacher receives is likely something they have no use for. They would rather have you donate materials for students so they don’t personally spend hundreds a year supplementing the poor students that don’t have needed materials.

My wife is a school teacher, and I think she’d absolutely agree with this. She comes home from school on the last day before Christmas break with a huge bag full of tchochkes and cheesy presents. The thought is appreciated, certainly, but it’s all garage-sale fodder. (There are also usually a few gift cards in there, which do go to better use. 😉 )

I think she’d be pleased if gifts were focused more on school materials, because she _does_ spend a lot of money out of her own wallet for those things.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/13 "2010-03-30T17:01:10Z")

</div>

> [@CairoCarol](#):
>
> Tipping SCHOOL TEACHERS is appropriate?!?!?!?
> 
> Isn’t that tantamount to bribery … or at least pressure for the teacher to give a student a better grade? (Or, as the OP admits, hoping for the student to get better treatment.)

If the teacher is a public school employee, relevant ethics laws should come into play here. You would need to check your state’s ethics laws, not to mention any local regulations. There is a possibility you could be committing an illegal act, and if the teacher accepts the gift, they would be committing an illegal act as well.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/14 "2010-03-30T17:01:27Z")

</div>

> [@pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](#):
>
> There was an [article on this](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8588733.stm) on the BBC News website the other day. Interesting read.
> 
> [This](http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2010/mar/26/teachers-gifts-presents) article by the Guardian seemed to come out at the same time - probably a slow news day.

A Tiffany goddamned bracelet? I’m printing this article out and giving it to the kids post haste. 😉

PS: I treat them all terribly, regardless of the gifts they shower me with.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/15 "2010-03-30T17:19:06Z")

</div>

Is your name [Vincent “Vinnie” Antonelli](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzDy3byWrQY)?

“I tip everybody …that’s my philosophy.”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/16 "2010-03-30T17:27:22Z")

</div>

Not out of line at all. I also tip the maid service in the hotel, especially if I am staying their multiple nights.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/17 "2010-03-30T17:54:22Z")

</div>

One of my kids has a severe food allergy. I tend to overtip waitpeople on the grounds that they make a special effort to make sure that bad stuff is not going to go down, and so that they’ll be happy when we come back, not bummed.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/18 "2010-03-30T18:06:02Z")

</div>

> [@Wilbo523](#):
>
> Not out of line at all. I also tip the maid service in the hotel, especially if I am staying their multiple nights.

How do you do this in the US? Leave some money on the table each day, or what? And how much?

I feel remiss that I don’t usually tip hotel maid staff in the states, but I’m rarely sure how to do it. I have had instances where I left cash tucked under a lamp or something, and the staff didn’t take it.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/19 "2010-03-30T18:09:07Z")

</div>

I feel good about the tipping I do, and as long as I’m cool with it. . .

One time at a wedding, I was feeling pretty good. I was dancing, holding an empty glass. A kid walked by (maybe a ring-bearer or something) and I handed him my empty glass, along with a dollar bill. He took the empty to the bar and returned, asking if he could help me any other way. I sent him to the bar for another drink. When he returned with my Stoli I gave him another buck. All told, the kid earned more than twenty dollars from me and a few friends who copied my idea.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\
**Post date:** [March 30, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/20 "2010-03-30T18:10:45Z")

</div>

I tend to overtip whenever possible. I know that in general I have a couple of big strikes against me\* to start with and I try to make sure cabbies, waitstaff, delivery people, etc. are well compensated to make things easier in the future.

\*For example, I live in a neighborhood that is out of the way for cabs and more than once I have had a cab refuse to take me home because they didn’t want to drive out somewhere with little change for a return fare. Because of this I tip cabs at least 25% for taking me home.

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339.md?page=2)
