# Tipping...Am I a weird duck? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 30, 2010, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339 "2010-03-30T15:53:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![ThisSpaceForRent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thisspaceforrent/32/345_2.png) [@ThisSpaceForRent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisSpaceForRent)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/61 "2010-04-01T04:03:03Z")
I tip in most applicable situations…that being said…\ Once, a friend and i had fun (friend was in service also) …We put 30$ on the table and informed the server that that was theirs IF we got good service…each time we had to ask before being asked a certain portion of tghe $$ would be removed… The server made 27$ that day…on a 46$ tab…yeah…I tip! tsfr ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/62 "2010-04-01T04:15:40Z")
Not weird at all, IMO (except the part where you’re really a duck. . . 😉 ) However, at Christmas, I don’t consider my daughter’s gift to her teacher to be a “tip”, but rather just a holiday gift; I also try to make it a consumable; I have, to great appreciation, given a “movie night in a box” a number of times: a Christmas/winter-themed tin that contains two packets of hot cocoa mix, a package of microwave popcorn, and a $10.00 Blockbuster gift card. I do, however, as others have suggested, also donate basic school supplies. If I’m in Wally World and notice they have crayons/glue/pencils/lined paper on sale, I’ll buy a couple of extra packs and send it in with my kid, along with a note that it’s for classroom use. Teachers don’t make _nearly_ enough money for what we expect of them, IMHO, and I know they spend a lot of that money to buy supplies for the classroom, especially in poorer/rural areas like the one I live in. I’ve been in this tiny town for seven months now, and ironically, have gotten a reputation as a “snob” because I tip well. :rolleyes: It just so happens that most folks in this town are very low-income, and therefore can’t afford to tip well, and we are fortunate enough that I can. So I do. But no matter _what_ you do, some people are going to criticize you for it. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/63 "2010-04-01T04:57:45Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > How do you type with webbed feet? He does it hunt and peck of course. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/64 "2010-04-01T06:53:59Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > Actually it’s more like YOU’RE happy and the waitress/bellhop/etc is saying to him/herself, “Thanks for not giving me a tip, you cheap asshole. A little really does go a long way for people like me, but you never even thought of that, did you? Nope, you didn’t, because you’re a self-centered prick.” Well they can go to hell. If they’re resentful of the fact that they entered a contract to sell their product for $X instead of $X+Y, they shouldn’t have entered the bloody contract. I value honesty in business. I would _never_ support a business that unnecessarily and deliberately under-quotes their prices and then uses their failure to pay the minimum wage to guilt-trip me into paying the excess. ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/65 "2010-04-01T08:06:59Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > Well they can go to hell. If they’re resentful of the fact that they entered a contract to sell their product for $X instead of $X+Y, they shouldn’t have entered the bloody contract. Yes, of course…because great jobs just fall out of the sky every day and if the guy waiting on you and your $30 steak could use a little extra money he shouldn’t have gotten a shitty job in the first place, right? AMIRITE!!! Because, of course, he sought out that shitty job specifically…it’s not like he was forced to take it because there was nothing else! What a dumbass, thinking that we’d bother to give him a little extra just out of the kindness of our hearts! :rolleyes::rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/66 "2010-04-01T10:54:38Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > Actually it’s more like YOU’RE happy and the waitress/bellhop/etc is saying to him/herself, “Thanks for not giving me a tip, you cheap asshole. A little really does go a long way for people like me, but you never even thought of that, did you? Nope, you didn’t, because you’re a self-centered prick.” > > At least, that’s what I would think. Give 'em a few extra bucks, for chrissakes. What’s the harm? You feel they didn’t earn your extra five bucks or something? Classy response…horribly misguided of course but then I often find that actually reading the words I wrote might help. Just to be clear, where tipping is expected and a social norm…I do it. I just resent it afterwards and so actively avoid situations where I’m expected to tip. My personal desire? that the marked price should reflect the actual cost and the price to pay. It makes life so much easier. If the service is something that needs charging for then please show that clearly and you’ll have no complaints from me. I don’t appreciate having enter into some arcane calculation of worth vs non-worth, explicit vs implicit costs. I’m also not comfortable with the Dickensian feeling of it all. I get a picture in my head of flipping a coin to urchin for opening a door etc. I suspect I’m just not comfortable with the feeling of being attended on. I much prefer to either do things myself or at least have a more equal and open customer/client relationship. Personally I find that tipping cultures like the US lead to bad behaviours. The overbearing service in the US is extremely off putting. I much prefer Japan where it is much more low key. Nothing in the dope ever raises as much ire as tipping threads. (apart from health care in the US) I think part of it is the assumed truism that the amount you tip indicates how generous you are as a person. That annoys me. How can it possible be an indicator when it is the expected norm? Generous would be giving the waitstaff a lift home because they missed their bus, not throwing in the expected 20% tip. Of course not tipping when it is the expected norm makes you an arse. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/67 "2010-04-01T16:11:18Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > Well they can go to hell. If they’re resentful of the fact that they entered a contract to sell their product for $X instead of $X+Y, they shouldn’t have entered the bloody contract. :rolleyes: Everyone understands that when you go to a restaurant in the U.S., you’re expected to add 15% or 20% to the cost of everything to cover the tip. There’s nothing “dishonest” about that. Now, I happen to think it’s a stupid system, but that’s how it works. No one suddenly decided five minutes ago that we were all going to start tipping–this shouldn’t surprise you, anymore than you should be surprised to see that your bill is higher than the total of the individual items because of sales tax. > [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > Nothing in the dope ever raises as much ire as tipping threads. (apart from health care in the US) You forgot declawing, circumcision, and fat. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/68 "2010-04-01T16:41:58Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > :rolleyes: Everyone understands that when you go to a restaurant in the U.S., you’re expected to add 15% or 20% to the cost of everything to cover the tip. There’s nothing “dishonest” about that. Now, I happen to think it’s a stupid system, but that’s how it works. No one suddenly decided five minutes ago that we were all going to start tipping–this shouldn’t surprise you, anymore than you should be surprised to see that your bill is higher than the total of the individual items because of sales tax. > > You forgot declawing, circumcision, and fat. Should I start a thread titled “I’m thinking of declawing my cat. Should I tip the Vet for declawing her even the though Vet is a fat blimp?” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/69 "2010-04-01T16:50:21Z")
> [@BlinkingDuck](#): > > Should I start a thread titled “I’m thinking of declawing my cat. Should I tip the Vet for declawing her even the though Vet is a fat blimp?” “And I wish we were in Europe so the government would pay for my cat’s health care.” ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/70 "2010-04-01T16:52:58Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Thats not true. Yes, the IRS can assign a certain tip rate to a restaurant, based upon averages, say 8%. But a good timely kept tip log over rides that. Well, somebody better call Corporate. They total her sales, and she is taxed as if she earned a 15% tip. Period. That’s how it is done. Not to mention the wait staff THEN has to TIP the expiditers, hostess, and sometimes the extra busboys, depending on how busy. Last year, she TIPPED OUT $4500. That’s $4500 shown as INCOME that she does not get to keep, but must pay taxes on (unless you can itemize, which we cannot). ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/71 "2010-04-01T17:35:47Z")
> [@BlinkingDuck](#): > > Should I start a thread titled “I’m thinking of declawing my cat. Should I tip the Vet for declawing her even the though Vet is a fat blimp?” Don’t forget to mention in the OP that you’re planning to drive to the vet in your SUV. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/72 "2010-04-01T18:08:27Z")
> [@LurkMeister](#): > > Don’t forget to mention in the OP that you’re planning to drive to the vet in your SUV. Here: > **[Adviced needed - I was driving my cat to be declawed in my Ford Expedition...](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=558101)** > > Need some Advice. I was driving my cat to be declawed in my Ford Expedition (can you believe gas prices these days? $80 to fill the tank? Outrageous!). When I reached the Vet and gave her my cat I realized that I just cannot give her my customary... ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/73 "2010-04-01T23:18:13Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > I often find that actually reading the words I wrote might help. I read what you wrote: UK based…don’t usually tip…do it in the US because it’s expected there…blah blah. That wasn’t what I found to be stupid. I found your comment _Just tell me how much it is, I’ll pay you that amount, we are both happy_ to be stupid. Obviously you’d be happy to not have to tip, but what in the world makes you think that your waiter would be happy to not get a tip? Just tip, people. What’s the big deal? Anyone who has the gall to say, “They get a salary! I shouldn’t have to give them anything extra” or “I don’t want to be guilt-tripped into paying more than I have to” is a complete asshole. Yeah, I get a salary, too, but I certainly wouldn’t complain if someone said, “Hey, here’s an extra 10!” Neither would you. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/74 "2010-04-02T02:26:09Z")
> [@campp](#): > > Well, somebody better call Corporate. They total her sales, and she is taxed as if she earned a 15% tip. Period. That’s how it is done. > > Not to mention the wait staff THEN has to TIP the expiditers, hostess, and sometimes the extra busboys, depending on how busy. Last year, she TIPPED OUT $4500. That’s $4500 shown as INCOME that she does not get to keep, but must pay taxes on (unless you can itemize, which we cannot). Umm, no. They with-held as if she earned that tip. And, they did that because she did not inform them differently. Consult a Tax pro- a E.A. or a CPA. You are simply wrong- or rather, you are letting them do this out of ignorance or apathy. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/75 "2010-04-02T04:03:43Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > Anyone who has the gall to say, “They get a salary! I shouldn’t have to give them anything extra” or “I don’t want to be guilt-tripped into paying more than I have to” is a complete asshole. Yeah, I get a salary, too, but I certainly wouldn’t complain if someone said, “Hey, here’s an extra 10!” Neither would you. I would, on the other hand, look at you a little oddly if you said, “Hey, here’s an extra $10!” to some guy and then demanded that I also do so. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/76 "2010-04-02T15:14:28Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Umm, no. They with-held as if she earned that tip. And, they did that because she did not inform them differently. Consult a Tax pro- a E.A. or a CPA. You are simply wrong- or rather, you are letting them do this out of ignorance or apathy. Yeah, that seems weird. If she gave the money to the busboy (or whatever), then she didn’t earn the tip - he did. There’s no way your wife should be held liable for $4500 that she didn’t actually take home. You need to either talk to her manager or to a tax pro. Yeah, the tax pro will suck because it’ll probably cost you money, but it’s worth it if you save on taxes like this one. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/77 "2010-04-02T15:31:25Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Umm, no. They with-held as if she earned that tip. And, they did that because she did not inform them differently. Consult a Tax pro- a E.A. or a CPA. You are simply wrong- or rather, you are letting them do this out of ignorance or apathy. And in any case, if she was over-withheld, she can get the money back when she files her return – if she has the proper documents (e.g. a tip log) to prove her case. ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/78 "2010-04-02T15:47:03Z")
Well, yes, I guess I wasn’t clear on what I said. They DO withold the percentage, and we do get a refund if one is due. I don’t know about how the “legality” of tipouts work, but in this state, they can do that to her. We do itemize and sometimes do, sometimes do not pay taxes on that, but others who don’t have the breaks we do have to pay the tax. Sucks. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/79 "2010-04-03T01:06:03Z")
> [@campp](#): > > Well, yes, I guess I wasn’t clear on what I said. They DO withold the percentage, and we do get a refund if one is due. > I don’t know about how the “legality” of tipouts work, but in this state, they can do that to her. We do itemize and sometimes do, sometimes do not pay taxes on that, but others who don’t have the breaks we do have to pay the tax. Sucks. Like two of us have said (and one of us has a brother who is a retired IRS agent)- \*consult a tax pro. \* I don’t understand why dudes think they can do fairly complicated taxes. It’s like seeing a Doctor- yes, if you have the sniffles you can self medicate with some herbal tea, vitamins and chicken soup- but if your appendix needs taken out, don’t get out a razor blade, a bottle of whiskey and a mirror. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Flymaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c4cdca/32.png) [@Flymaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flymaster)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339/80 "2010-04-04T04:54:23Z")
> [@campp](#): > > Well, yes, I guess I wasn’t clear on what I said. They DO withold the percentage, and we do get a refund if one is due. > I don’t know about how the “legality” of tipouts work, but in this state, they can do that to her. We do itemize and sometimes do, sometimes do not pay taxes on that, but others who don’t have the breaks we do have to pay the tax. Sucks. Just to be clear, because it wasn’t explicitly stated: No, nobody has to pay that tax. Some people DO pay it, because they’re doing their taxes wrong. But money paid to busboys is not earned income, and absolutely is not taxed, in any state in the United States. No server has to pay income tax on it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-am-i-a-weird-duck/534339.md?page=5)