# Tipping in America: the insult tip **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 20, 2017, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226 "2017-08-20T23:14:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2017, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/121 "2017-08-21T23:39:27Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > I have never, not once, seen anyone combine tea and milk IRL. To me, it sounds like a less than pleasant pairing. It is far from “universal”. It always sounded yukky to me, too, until I took a trip to England and tried it. It’s quite delicious! The milk sort of “softens” the tea or something and at the same time, seems to make it more substantial. Hard to explain. In a normal-sized cup of tea, you put just a dash, maybe a teaspoon or so. Try it sometime–you might be as surprised as I was. But, as has been pointed out, tea with milk is not common in the USA. Milk will usually NOT be served with hot tea in a restaurant–you have to ask for it. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/122 "2017-08-22T00:10:46Z")
> [@crazyjoe](#): > > I didn’t hear anything in the OP about how nice and attentive the server was, just that they did the bare minimum to be considered a server, especially considering that the place was not crowded. As my father-in-law likes to say, “if the minimum wasn’t the minimum, they wouldn’t call it the minimum”. > [@](#): > > Like it or not, the tip is for the service and if I am not getting quality service, I am not leaving a quality tip. That’s fine. But there’s a big difference between a 10% “I was relatively unhappy with the overall quality of my experience” and a $0.05 insult. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/123 "2017-08-22T00:21:21Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > I think you missed my point. They’re getting paid (regular) minimum wage for doing essentially the same thing as an employee in another restaurant that is making less per hour but also getting tips. not necessarily some states say you can get away with 2.35 an hour on “personal service” jobs because they assume the difference will be made up in tips … ---
**Author:** ![Evan\_Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b487fb/32.png) [@Evan\_Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evan_Drake)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/124 "2017-08-22T00:46:14Z")
Apart from milk and soy milk, apart from these being brought to the table in a little milkpot in say a teashop or pub and sugar for those who like it, one can specify when ordering. Few drink tea without milk ( except for those fruity little green teas ), more drink black coffee but even there milk is more popular. I was brought up to believe only Russians wielding the samovar who took it with lemon and the Chinese who didn’t eschewed milk. I had no idea Americans were so deprived. I cannot **drink** coffee or tea black. And I drink 12 cups of tea a day, and coffee when I’m at friends. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/125 "2017-08-22T00:54:27Z")
> [@nightshadea](#): > > not necessarily some states say you can get away with 2.35 an hour on “personal service” jobs because they assume the difference will be made up in tips … Not true. In the U.S., all employees must be paid the federal or state minimum wage, whichever is higher. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/126 "2017-08-22T01:24:54Z")
> [@D\_Anconia](#): > > Not true. In the U.S., all employees must be paid the federal or state minimum wage, whichever is higher. From the [US Department of Labor website](https://www.dol.gov/general/topic/wages/wagestips): _A tipped employee engages in an occupation in which he or she customarily and regularly receives more than $30 per month in tips. An employer of a tipped employee is only required to pay $2.13 per hour in direct wages if that amount combined with the tips received at least equals the federal minimum wage. If the employee’s tips combined with the employer’s direct wages of at least $2.13 per hour do not equal the federal minimum hourly wage, the employer must make up the difference. Many states, however, require higher direct wage amounts for tipped employees._ While the employer is ostensibly obligated to make up the difference if employees do not make the equivalent of minimum wage with their hourly pay and tips, there is essentially no enforcement of this regulation. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/127 "2017-08-22T01:29:34Z")
Don’t bother, **Stranger**. **D’Anconia** is fixated on that one belief and won’t budge from it. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/128 "2017-08-22T01:44:07Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > If you can’t respect local customs, then go back to wherever it is you came from. And stay there. Sooner than later and preferably in a body cast. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/129 "2017-08-22T02:09:14Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > Sooner than later and preferably in a body cast. Steady on, that’s a bit excessive. Are you seriously saying foreigners opposed to tipping should be viciously beaten and thrown out of the country as soon as practical? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/130 "2017-08-22T02:14:59Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > Steady on, that’s a bit excessive. Are you seriously saying foreigners opposed to tipping should be viciously beaten and thrown out of the country as soon as practical? Presumably only if they aren’t Dopers. Because that would be wrong… ---
**Author:** ![Corry\_El](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Corry\_El](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corry_El)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/131 "2017-08-22T02:28:58Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > I have never, not once, seen anyone combine tea and milk IRL. To me, it sounds like a less than pleasant pairing. It is far from “universal”. These comments are surprising to me, but I learned something. I’m (multi-generation) American, though from pretty ‘ethnic’ Irish family, and we always had milk in our tea, more likely than putting milk in coffee (and it’s customary to assume coffee drinkers might put milk in it, no?) and that’s always how I’ve had it. The only tea I’ve ever without milk is iced tea or Asian style green tea. Assuming we’re not splitting hairs between milk and cream etc. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/132 "2017-08-22T02:43:09Z")
> [@D\_Anconia](#): > > Not true. In the U.S., all employees must be paid the federal or state minimum wage, whichever is higher. [Not sure how you reconcile that with, for example, this](http://www.dllr.state.md.us/labor/wagepay/wptipped.shtml): > [@Maryland](#): > > Employees who earn at least $30 per month in tips may, under Maryland law, be paid as little as (but no less than) $3.63 per hour by their employer effective July 24, 2009. This is only the case, however, where earned tips for the week combined with$3.63 per hour equal at least the minimum wage for all hours worked. Where an employee’s earnings fall short of the minimum wage due to meager tips, the employer must make up the difference. Is it the passive voice that lets you reconcile it, inasmuch as they must be paid that, but not necessarily by their employer? ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/133 "2017-08-22T03:21:40Z")
This is why we need to reform tipping culture. I don’t mind paying for my service directly, and I actually pay more than 20%. But what I do mind is subsidizing the jerks who won’t tip and give a bunch of nonsense as to why they won’t tip. ---
**Author:** ![Evan\_Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b487fb/32.png) [@Evan\_Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evan_Drake)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/134 "2017-08-22T03:32:59Z")
> [@Corry\_El](#): > > These comments are surprising to me, but I learned something. I’m (multi-generation) American, though from pretty ‘ethnic’ Irish family, and we always had milk in our tea, more likely than putting milk in coffee (and it’s customary to assume coffee drinkers might put milk in it, no?) and that’s always how I’ve had it. The only tea I’ve ever without milk is iced tea or Asian style green tea. Assuming we’re not splitting hairs between milk and cream etc. The Irish, in Eire and Ulster both, are the one people in Europe who drink more tea than the British. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/135 "2017-08-22T06:07:40Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Don’t bother, **Stranger**. **D’Anconia** is fixated on that one belief and won’t budge from it. It’s not a “belief”, it’s federal law. I realize that this is MPSIMS, a social forum, but it’s also part of the SDMB, which claims to be fighting ignorance. At least three different posters have claimed, in this thread, that servers make less than minimum wage. NOT TRUE. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/136 "2017-08-22T06:18:26Z")
> [@D\_Anconia](#): > > At least three different posters have claimed, in this thread, that servers make less than minimum wage. NOT TRUE. Even I - an Australian and a non-tip enthusiast - am anecdotally aware that just because the law says someone in a restaurant should make $x+tips and if they don’t, the employer has to make it up to them, doesn’t mean that actually happens. I’d be interested to know the last time someone got busted and properly punished for saying “Hey, you make most of your income in tips, so all you’re getting is $2 an hour from me.” ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/137 "2017-08-22T08:32:46Z")
Has there ever been a tipping thread on the Dope that didn’t turn into a train wreck? I despise tipping, but it’s part of life in the United States. Just as like imperial units, Fahrenheit, the electoral college, and one dollar bills. I wish we could abolish tipping, switch to metric and get rid of the electoral college and dollar bills. But, it’ll take smarter people than I to accomplish these things. Tipping is for the server in a sit down restaurant. Unlike fast food restaurants, where the employees often have multiple tasks, the server at the restaurant usually only has one role In almost every case, they want to make sure your food is good and they’ll usually be proactive in getting a front of the house manager to intervene and make sure things are made good. I can only think of a couple of instances where I’ve left a very low tip: 1. The waitress dropped off a plate of very spicy food, I asked for another beer. Instead, she went outside to smoke a cigarette with just about everyone else who worked at the restaurant. This wasn’t a few puffs, she smoked an entire cigarette while apparently swapping jokes with her fellow employees. 2. A waitress had a long make out session with a waiter, in a booth in clear view of my friend and I. Look, I’m not a prude, but this wasn’t a peck on the cheek or a quick kiss. This was seriously, “Get a Room!” territory. I worked in restaurants in college, I know sex happens between employees, but at least wait until the restaurant is closed! As an interesting aside, I remember one night when two waitresses got into an actual fistfight at the restaurant I was working at. It started inside the kitchen, but spilled out into the dining room like it was a stunt in pro wrestling. I took over one of the tables after the waitresses were sent home and I still got a decent tip! ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/138 "2017-08-22T08:38:37Z")
> [@D\_Anconia](#): > > It’s not a “belief”, it’s federal law. > > I realize that this is MPSIMS, a social forum, but it’s also part of the SDMB, which claims to be fighting ignorance. > > At least three different posters have claimed, in this thread, that servers make less than minimum wage. NOT TRUE. You are so wrong. I was a server once, and I know servers. Are you saying that I, or they, are _ **lying** _ when we say we made less than minimum? ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/139 "2017-08-22T09:06:27Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > Sooner than later and preferably in a body cast. This is out of line here, **Nawth Chucka**. Don’t wish harm on other posters or you’ll be warned next time. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2017, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226/140 "2017-08-22T10:33:25Z")
> [@dalej42](#): > > As an interesting aside, I remember one night when two waitresses got into an actual fistfight at the restaurant I was working at. It started inside the kitchen, but spilled out into the dining room like it was a stunt in pro wrestling. I took over one of the tables after the waitresses were sent home and I still got a decent tip! I’d allow this as long as, according to internationally codified restaurant fight narrative convention 1.12 (a3) one of them whipped the tablecoth from under the dishes of startled diners “magician” style and tried to strangle the other one with it. _or_ a baguette was used as a sword. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tipping-in-america-the-insult-tip/794226.md?page=8)