It’s not. And the fact that waiters are happy to return it does not kill my argument, especially since you seem to be alleging that asking if you need change is some sort of evil waiter conspiracy to get a larger tip, rather than just an attempt to save some time for both you and the server.
Hey, all i can do is interpret your behavior, and it strikes me as anal and controlling. YMMV.
How is asking if you need change a power trip? It’s simply an attempt to make life easier.
Hey, again, i can only go on what you tell me. And the fact that the money is out in the open on a plate doesn’t mean that the waiter can see exactly how much is there without picking it up to cunt it.
In fact, most waiters i know make a deliberate attampt not to look at the moeny itself in front of the customer, specifically to avoid the sort of inferences that you draw about scheming for a higher tip.
Didn’t change my modus operandi at all. I have never asserted that you don’t have a right to dislike the question, whether i agree with you about it or not.
You believe that withholding a tip for this reason is appropriate. I believe that such an attitude is the sign of a selfish, petty person. We’re just going to have to agree to disagree on that.
This is one I’ve had difficulty with. I will not ask people for their plates unless I really need it, since I have short arms and I consider it very rude for me to reach across the table. Sometimes people will say that they want things ‘to go’ that are on the opposite side of the table. I will politely ask for them to pass it to me, or, if I feel it is appropriate, make a little joke as I ask them for it. Most people see me reaching and start handing it to me, but some won’t hand it unless I ask. If it is a dirty plate, I will let it sit unless they motion that they want it removed and then I might ask them to hand it to me if it is too far to reach.
Watering glasses is the same way. If you want your glasses watered and you are in a booth and far away from the server, please pass your glass over if you don’t want to be disturbed or interrupt your conversation.
Oh, I forgot this! I write ‘Thank you!’ and put a little happy face somewhere on the check. This does increase your tips and occasionally people write messages back like ‘You’re welcome!’ or draw you smilely faces in return.
Or they may be from a culture where tipping isn’t done. Also, certain groups tip less. However, don’t treat your tables with prejudice!! I work in an Indian restaurant and tipping isn’t done in Indian culture so a lot of the newcomers don’t know to tip. I know they aren’t displeased with my service because they give me the highest score on the comment card and tell my boss what a wonderful server I am, but they give me 10% or under often. If we are busy and an Indian table and a non-Indian table sits down at the same time, some of my coworkers put preference on the non-Indian table. I don’t and I’ve gotten some really nice tips because of it. I have a lot of Indian tables that come and ask for me specifically because they know I get things done for them and will make them happy. I’ve had people that started as bad tippers become nice ones.
A lot of young people don’t tip well simply because they don’t have a lot of money. However, when you get a table full of college and high school students, don’t write them off. Make them laugh and joke around with them and you will usually get higher tips out of it.
Didn’t we once have an argument over whether crouching down to take the order was appropriate or not?
I’m on board with everything else Johnny Bravo says, although personally I always hated tray-waitressing and was more efficient not using one. It’s necessary someplace where they do the sizzling plates right out of the oven thing, not necessary at Denny’s.
That drop down to one knee business I’m just not understanding, it weirds me out when a waitron does that, like suddenly we’re gonna have personal chat time now? Without taxing the hamsters to find the previous thread, I’m gonna guess that we were near evenly split on the crouch thing. If none of your other waitrons are doing it, I’d suggest you refrain.
I think it’s weird too. And it doesn’t make me feel any friendlier to the waitstaff nor increase the tip amount - I tip 20% and that’s it. Very rarely does it get higher than that but it will definitely get lower if the service is bad.
I also really dislike when a waitperson asks if I want my change. Of course I want my change! It’s my money! You don’t have a right to a tip and it’s rude as hell to ask! I still leave a tip in this case but it’s only about 10% (and the only reason I leave that much is because my brothers use to wait tables, I’d feel guilty about not leaving anything.) It really kills any goodwill I feel towards the server. It makes me feel like someone is trying to take something from me instead of me giving something to them.
[rant] I hate like hell when the pizza delivery guy does this. First they ask if I need my change (heck yeah - it’s my money) then they always try to keep the coin change. (for instance our normal order is $14.56 and they only give me $5 in change - Hello? you still owe me 42 cent-yes it’s a piddling amount but it’s the principle of the matter) To avoid this I’ve been paying with a check and either adding the tip in or giving them cash. [/rant]
Maud’Dib, at Denny’s you’re probably going to get lots of kids. Kids are messy - make sure you give the table plenty of napkins even if you don’t think the food itself is messy to eat. If you can’t get the kids’ food out quickly offer crackers or something to tide them over. Make sure when you get small kid drinks that they are lidded and not filled to the brim. Refills are easier to manage than spills. Plus usually the kids don’t drink the whole thing anyway.
I have to say that you really need to pay attention to the vibes your customers are giving off. I’m not a chatty person. I’m coming there to get food and converse with my friends/family. I will treat you politely and try to not be too demanding - but I am not there to become your friend. All I want from you is a pleasant demeanor and efficiently competent service.
Good Luck! I’ve occasionally thought about waiting tables but I don’t have the memory or the physical speed (my nickname in high school was “turtle”) necessary to make it work.
My problem with the “Do you want your change back” is two-fold. One, the server is breaking the social illusion that the tip is a gratuity. I understand many people do not want to believe that it is, but it is a social nicety that is important to a lot of people. Even though I am expected to give a tip, it is also a accepted social nicety that in the end, it is my choice. By asking me if I want my change back, you are presuming to remove that choice, which is irritating.
As well, by asking me if I want my change back, you are also by necessity making a judgment as to not just whether you should receive a tip, but how big it should be. Clearly a waiter must make a judgment as to what would be “too much” to ask for when asking if someone wants their change back. E.g., would most waiters ask “Do you want your change back?” to an $11 total meal if the customer gives them a $20? I think not. By even asking the question, you are implying that the amount remaining in change is a reasonable amount to tip, which is again slightly insulting to me as a customer.
I see from your location that you’re not in the US. This may make a big difference. In the US, waiters make less than minimum wage–when I last worked for tips, it was $2.01 an hour, and minimum was, I think, $3.65. (that should tell you how old I am, right there.) This “waiter’s minimum” exists because it’s assumed the worker will make the rest of their wages in tips. So a tip isn’t just a bribe to make someone give good service, it’s actually their pay. In most businesses, the cost for labor would go into the price, but for some reason this isn’t generally done with waiters, and instead of announcing the actual cost on the menu, you’re expected to know that everything actually costs fifteen percent more. The customer isn’t paying more so the waiter will be efficient–the customer is paying what should already be calculated into the cost of the meal–the rest of the waiter’s paycheck.
With bussers, when my dad was a young man, and bussed tables, the bus boys made nothing but the tips the waiters gave them. I don’t think that’s very common anymore (and possibly not legal, given minimum wage laws, but I’m not sure.) My first job was bussing tables at a pancake house, and I made waiters minimum plus whatever the waiters thought I was worth. They were required (by the boss, not sure about legal issues) to give me enough to bring my pay up to that minimum $3.65, but I could make more if I’d done really well, and did once I got the hang of it.
I don’t know what kinds of wages hostesses or cooks make–I’m sure it varies. If tips are calculated into their wages, then that’s why they get a share of tips. If not, well, then I’m not sure why they’d get a share, except that it never hurts to share a bit if you’ve had a really good night, and/or if said co-worker was a big part of your being able to make a good tip that night. And as others have said, and can never be repeated too often, your cooks are the best friends to have, and the worst enemies.
Myself, I’d prefer if business owners paid their employees fairly, but that’s not how restaurants work in the US.
Having worked as a cook at Friendly’s (similiar to a Denny’s for those not in the know) and TGIFridays, my advice would be please be nice to the cooks. When you are new and if the cooks aren’t busy feel free to ask us about the menu. We know how everything goes together, and we know what dishes get what sides. Also if you are nice to the cooks we don’t mind helping you out when you need it. We don’t purposely try to mess up anyone’s orders, and we can’t cook things faster than they normally take (IE. We can’t make a steak cook faster). If you mess up an order, tell the cooks ASAP so they can correct it if possible or start a new one if it’s beyond repair. If we mess up the order, bring it back but don’t be a bitch about it or it will take longer to fix than it took to cook the first time. Depending on the layout of the restaurant, don’t walk through the cooking area of the kitchen if you can help it at all, because when we are slammed, there isn’t always time to look around before I spin around with hot food and/or sharp utensils. If you have anymore questions feel free to email me.
I waited tables Pappasito’s (TX Dopers know this place) for ~6 years and trained waiters for half of that time. A few things that haven’t been mentioned:
-Attention to details. When you refill ice tea/coffee/hot tea either move the sugar caddy within arm’s reach or take note of how many sugar packets they have used and set that many next to their glass.
-Attention to kids. If you win over a child you will have won over the parents. Kids love to go nuts in a restraunt and if you can keep them from doing that you are awsome. I always went out of my way to keep those kids happy and entertained, and their parents loved me for it.
-The ongoing discussion about change brings back one of my pet-peeves: When you take a drink order refrain form asking “Would you like something besides water?” This just rubs people the wrong way. While you may just want to show that you know they already have water there is always an undercurrent of “Hey! Cheapskate! Have a margarita!” Instead, just ask if they would like something to drink and give them some options like (at Denny’s) a Coke or some coffee.
-Someone said that they don’t like it when you ask the reason for a change to a menu item. In the example that they gave it did sound a bit rude. However, if someone says that they don’t want onions in their omlet, you should ask if they have an allergy to it. Onions are in tons of things and it will make you look concerned instead of rude. (I’m not just talking about onions here. Do it every time.)
Yes, and as kimera said, sometimes it just isn’t possible. I don’t think the rule would apply at all to a restaurant with booths, for instance. I was just saying it’s a nicety if you can manage it.