# Tips For the Ol' Family Vacation **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 21, 2004, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432 "2004-06-21T12:41:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/41 "2004-06-22T15:06:47Z")
> [@lainaf](#): > > **welby,** The buttered popcorn flavored Jelly Bellies are my favorites. Well, what can you expect from a cat person? Welcome to the MMP anyway! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/42 "2004-06-22T15:17:09Z")
**That. Is. Just. Plain. Wrong.** What’s the matter with candy being candy flavors like licorice, pray tell? Do we also have Licorice Jellybean Flavored Popcorn? What’s next? Hot Wing Flavored Jell-O[sup]TM[/sup] Puddin’ Pops? The world has gone **mad!** **Mad!** I say! I had swimmer’s ear last Summer. I used the swimmer’s ear gunk and it went away. YAY! I got a haircut last night. I am now all properly Summer buzz cut. Well, since I get my hair buzz cut all year round, I guess it’s just regular ol’ **swampy** buzz cut. It feels good. All soft and fuzzy like. ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/43 "2004-06-22T15:24:05Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > **That. Is. Just. Plain. Wrong.** You have no concept of how wrong it is unless you taste one. I wanted to shave off my taste buds with a razor blade. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/44 "2004-06-22T15:40:07Z")
**welby** , that is a horrible visual. You know what is so very wrong? Buying some yummy looking Healthy Choice frozen desserts (mocha flavored ice cream pops) and finding out that your freezer is crappy because when you go to EAT one, you realize they are completely liquid. **That** is so very wrong. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/45 "2004-06-22T16:20:21Z")
Those popcorn flavored jelly beans ARE nasty, nasty, nasty. They taste like smelly socks smell. Does that make sense? There is also another flavor, I don’t know what it is SUPPOSED to be flavored like, but it tastes like SOAP! That is just plain gross. My friend just got his hair fairly buzz cut too. He generally keeps it that way. I run my fingers or my hand up the back of his head very lightly (in the opposite direction the hair grows) and it makes him goose bumpy and sorta tickly. I have to see the doctor today because my friends and husband have nagged me into it. Apparently I have a funny black spot that is raised around the edges on my back. They are all freaked out about it. I can’t SEE my back, so I didn’t know it was there. They also say it wasn’t there last year, so this just isn’t right. So, to appease them, (and make them quit nagging me) I made an appointment and I am supposed to go in this afternoon. The doctor’s office said to come in today, not to wait, so that if it IS something to be concerned about, they can get me into Dermatology faster than if I self-refer. We’ll see…I’m sure it’s nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/46 "2004-06-22T16:36:22Z")
All this talk about soapy jellybeans and shaving tastebuds has really put me off my lunch. Thanks ya’ll! 😉 **Taters** , I’m really glad you are having that looked at. Better safe than sorry. Let us know as soon as you can what the results are. ---
**Author:** ![earthpuppy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8c91f0/32.png) [@earthpuppy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/earthpuppy)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/47 "2004-06-22T16:37:17Z")
> [@welby](#): > > You have no concept of how wrong it is unless you taste one. I wanted to shave off my taste buds with a razor blade. I’m with **lainaf** , I LIKE the buttered popcorn Jelly Bellies! ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/48 "2004-06-22T16:50:42Z")
While I have no real desire to discourage a new MMP poster, I must respectfully disagree with **lainaf** in re: popcorn-flavored jelly beans. Good _God_, you fool! What are you thinking?! I’d like to give you some manly advice about your fence, **Kallessa** , but I need more information. Stockade? Picket? Rail? Chain link? Concrete footings? What type of soil do you have? Got a chainsaw? Oxy-acetylene torch? ---
**Author:** ![TheRealStrawberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@TheRealStrawberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheRealStrawberry)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/49 "2004-06-22T16:54:54Z")
Oooooohhhhh… oxy-acetylene torch… what fun! ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/50 "2004-06-22T17:45:16Z")
> [@tanookie](#): > > **Kallessa** will you be my auntie? > > I never had any cool aunti experiences like that because I never got to see my cool auntie until after I got married. Why, shucks, darlin’, of course I’ll by your auntie. Are you the candy, toy or gross stuff type of neice? Or should I just look for a Monopoly-themed farting machine? Seriously, send me your address (my e-mail’s in my profile) and I’ll send you something from a cool aunt. **Taters** , the funny black spot is probably nothing, but I’m glad you’re getting it checked. I’ll be thinking good thoughts. \*\*lainaf \*\*, I’m not fond of any jelly beans, but it’s always good to trap, I mean welcome a new voice to the MMP. BTW, this is a hijack-free zone. You can never hijack the thread, because the whole point is that everything is always a topic. **flamingbananas** , you got caught in one of my dreams last night. As I was drifting off to sleep, I was trying to remember the name of the dessert made from flaming bananas (Bananas Foster?) that they make in New Orleans. You had responded to the cherries jubilee so well and all. Anyway, I had a dream where Sly Stallone was carrying the Olympic torch (which he really did do in real life), except in my dream, what he was holding was a bunch of flaming bananas on a stick. You have no connection to Stallone do you? I’d hate to think my dreams are psychic or something. Finally, **Ex** darlin’, it’s a wood fence. Wood planks, six feet in height, I think it has concrete footings. It also has short metel poles–like from a barbed wire fence–that help support it. Maybe they are set in concrete and the wood ones aren’t. I don’t really know. Part of the fence in leaning in toward my yard–I have that propped up with a long wooden pole I found in my garage. Another section of the fence is leaning towards the parking lot of the property behind me. I try to avoid looking at it so I don’t have to do anything to fix it. My soil is brown, although I did buy some new soil and it is black. But it’s not right by the fence so I don’t think it matters. Do I seem to you like the type of person that would have a chain saw or an oxy-acetylene torch? You’re lucky I know what an oxy-acetylene torch is! ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/51 "2004-06-22T18:17:55Z")
> [@Kallessa](#): > > Finally, **Ex** darlin’, it’s a wood fence. Wood planks, six feet in height, I think it has concrete footings. It also has short metel poles–like from a barbed wire fence–that help support it. Maybe they are set in concrete and the wood ones aren’t. I don’t really know. Part of the fence in leaning in toward my yard–I have that propped up with a long wooden pole I found in my garage. Another section of the fence is leaning towards the parking lot of the property behind me. I try to avoid looking at it so I don’t have to do anything to fix it. My soil is brown, although I did buy some new soil and it is black. But it’s not right by the fence so I don’t think it matters. Do I seem to you like the type of person that would have a chain saw or an oxy-acetylene torch? You’re lucky I know what an oxy-acetylene torch is! Looks like we don’t need the torch, **Ex** , though we should probably keep it around in case the platypi get uppity. I can supply the chainsaw, but I don’t have enough super glue to be safe. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/52 "2004-06-22T18:21:10Z")
Bananas Foster = MMP Dessert of choice Why is that? Because: **flamingbananas** + **susan\_foster** = Bananas Foster 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/53 "2004-06-22T18:40:13Z")
> [@welby](#): > > Looks like we don’t need the torch, **Ex** , though we should probably keep it around in case the platypi get uppity. Possibly. I think we may need it to cut the steel posts off at ground level, 'cause I don’t want to dig up no footings. This thing has probably been a problem for a while if somebody felt the need to shore it up with steel posts. Fortunately, it sounds like a stockade fence so we ought to be able to remove it in sections. And burn 'em in the driveway. ---
**Author:** ![earthpuppy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8c91f0/32.png) [@earthpuppy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/earthpuppy)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/54 "2004-06-22T18:42:08Z")
> [@Exgineer](#): > > Fortunately, it sounds like a stockade fence so we ought to be able to remove it in sections. > > And burn 'em in the driveway. I’ll bring the marshmallows! ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/55 "2004-06-22T18:51:35Z")
> [@earthpuppy](#): > > I’ll bring the marshmallows! Shouldn’t we be thinking Bananas Foster? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![earthpuppy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8c91f0/32.png) [@earthpuppy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/earthpuppy)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/56 "2004-06-22T18:56:40Z")
> [@Tupug Anachi](#): > > Shouldn’t we be thinking Bananas Foster? 😃 a bonfire might be a little overkill for making bananas foster…but it’s worth a try! ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/57 "2004-06-22T19:13:41Z")
Well, my driveway needs replacing as well, but if you burn down my garage, you’re not leaving until it’s rebuilt. Complete with the automatic door opener, I may add. Don’t you need brandy or whiskey or something for the bananas foster? (None for **flamingbananas** , she’s a minor. (Well, maybe a taste, but she’ll have to agree to be my neice)). 😉 ---
**Author:** ![earthpuppy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8c91f0/32.png) [@earthpuppy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/earthpuppy)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/58 "2004-06-22T19:18:44Z")
> [@Kallessa](#): > > Don’t you need brandy or whiskey or something for the bananas foster? (None for **flamingbananas** , she’s a minor. (Well, maybe a taste, but she’ll have to agree to be my neice)). 😉 banana liqueur and dark rum ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/59 "2004-06-22T20:03:24Z")
First, welcome **lainaf**! The MMP has only two very simple rules: Rule Number One: I get all the burly men. Rule Number Two: **Kalley** gets all the brawny men. See? Simple. Second, **Ex** I think you need to bring the oxy-acetylene torch. The fire in the driveway will do fine for hotdogs and marshmallows but we’ll need the torch for the Bananas Foster. Third, **scout1222** **BWAAAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA!!!** That was funny. ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432/60 "2004-06-22T21:25:32Z")
Update to the black hole/bump on my back: I don’t know what it is. I was just on the way out of my office when the phone rang. It was the doctor’s office calling to cancel my appointment because my doctor went home sick. So, I now have an appointment for Thursday. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tips-for-the-ol-family-vacation/251432.md?page=4)