# Tired of Jesus?  Try My Cock!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tired-of-jesus-try-my-cock/60815>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [April 4, 2001, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tired-of-jesus-try-my-cock/60815 "2001-04-04T19:14:19Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\
**Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tired-of-jesus-try-my-cock/60815/21 "2001-04-05T16:07:17Z")

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Well… that answers the question:

[Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?](http://www.theonion.com/onion3604/sucking_my_cock.html)

And I swear… that picture of the guy with the amazing ass is the same picture they used in The Onion’s Finest News Reporting (book) on the “Man, homosexual, saves boy from burning house” story.

Gotta love The Onion…

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**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\
**Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tired-of-jesus-try-my-cock/60815/22 "2001-04-05T16:44:36Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Freyr \*  
> \*\*SPOOFE Bo Diddly wrote:
> 
> You’ll have to get his away from that Magdalene chick first.\*\*

Goodness, I’m SO over the whole Jesus thing. I mean, we had a nice 6 months, I dunno, 2000 YEARS ago - why does everyone keep bringing that up? Can’t we just let it go and move on? I hooked up with all the apostles. It’s not like he was even _special_.

And let me tell ya, the last thing you need in bed is a man who really IS holier than thou - they never shut up, have all these kinky foot-washing hair fetishes, and they try weasel out of paying for it after because it’s a “sacrament” and you should be grateful for the experience. Give me James, John, or Judas ANY day - at least they didn’t try to _forgive_ me afterward.

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**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\
**Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tired-of-jesus-try-my-cock/60815/23 "2001-04-05T17:23:28Z")

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That’s 'cuz “You Don’t Know How to Love Him,” Maggy! (As explained to us, over and over and over, by half the pop singers of the '80’s.)

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**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\
**Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tired-of-jesus-try-my-cock/60815/24 "2001-04-05T17:30:29Z")

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Never one to miss an opportunity for evangelism, I read with interest **Freyr** ’s comment:

> [@](#):
>
> Naaaw… I’m sure He swings both ways. I mean, you hear about all of these “personal relationships” He gets involved in, with men AND women. Take FriendofGod for instance; he keeps going on and on about how much Jesus loves him and how he loves Jesus. 'Sides, longhaired, bearded guys are a favorite of mine.

Hey, **Freyr** , the guy’s a personal Friend of mine! Be glad to introduce you to Him anytime! 😃

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