# Titanic

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [October 23, 2007, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650 "2007-10-23T01:40:07Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/1 "2007-10-23T01:40:07Z")

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It’s late in the season and I’m closing the pool. “Who wants to play TITANIC?!?” I ask.

“OOOO! Me. Me!” Cry my daughters.

We go down to the pool and I tell them to get in the little raft. They do. I pull the plug out of the raft, put it in my pocket and push them out to the middle.

“Aren’t you coming in the raft?” they ask.

“Nope.”

“What are we doing? How do we play?”

“Just wait.”

While they wait I go about preparing the pool for closing, keeping the raft they are in in the middle of the pool with the occasional prod of the skimmer poll.

“Daddy, I think the raft has a leak.”

“No. I took the plug out.”

My eldest thinks about this for amount. “Is this how you play Titanic.”

“Yup.”

“I don’t get it.”

“There’s not much to get. The water is 50 degrees and your boat is sinking.”

The struggles begin. They scream and cry and beg and fight. I sing Celine Dion.

“Near…Faaarrrr…Wherever you are… cause I know that the heart will go on.”

“No. Daddy No! We’re sinking! Help us!”

“You want me to come help you?” I ask.

“Help us. Please!”

“Okay. Here I come!”

“No Daddy no! The Raft won’t hold you! Nooooooo!”

“Cannonball!”

Splasssshhhhhh!  
Ten seconds later we climb out of the freezing water and run to the house.  
“Ok,” “Who wants ice cream?”

Good times. Good times.

* * *

You may think I’m cruel but they fall for this every year.

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**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/2 "2007-10-23T01:45:15Z")

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You funny fucker.

(giggling for the next 10 minutes)

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**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/3 "2007-10-23T01:57:51Z")

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Sounds a bit more like PT-109 to me.

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**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/4 "2007-10-23T01:58:45Z")

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If I got ice cream out of it, I’d ‘fall’ for it too.

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**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/5 "2007-10-23T02:00:47Z")

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Ever play HINDENBURG? 😃

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**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/6 "2007-10-23T02:22:13Z")

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[QUOTE=runner pat]  
Ever play HINDENBURG? 😃  
[/QUOTE]

Funny you should ask.

I read about this way you could make a really cool balloon.

You take a brown paper bag and draw a face on it with crayons and Wesson oil (Wesson oil makes it semi transparent, I’ll explain.)

Then you take four pieces of thread about 5 inches long and tape one to the bottom of each side of the bag. You tape the other ends to a cupcake holder type thinggy to make a gondola. You are supposed to use the aluminum foil ones. I used the paper ones which turned out to be a critical error. You put about an inch of a candle into the cupcake holder, and then tape about 50 feet of fishing line to the cupcake holder.

When you light the candle the hot air will fill the bag. The light from the candle will shine through the bag where you have the Wesson oil like a Jack O Lantern, the bag will rise into the air the length of the fishing line like a ghostly apparition.

It’s quite wonderful and beautiful.

Then your paper cupcake holder will catch fire (Which is why you were supposed to use the aluminum ones, burn up the threads while cutting the leash. Then the paperbag will catch fire and like a burning meteor it will fly across the sky.

Inevitably, it will land in a highly flammable dead pine tree in the next door neighbor’s yard.  
Yeah, that one made a hell of an impression.

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**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/7 "2007-10-23T10:59:55Z")

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[QUOTE=Scylla]  
Funny you should ask.

I read about this way you could make a really cool balloon.

You take a brown paper bag and draw a face on it with crayons and Wesson oil (Wesson oil makes it semi transparent, I’ll explain.)

Then you take four pieces of thread about 5 inches long and tape one to the bottom of each side of the bag. You tape the other ends to a cupcake holder type thinggy to make a gondola. You are supposed to use the aluminum foil ones. I used the paper ones which turned out to be a critical error. You put about an inch of a candle into the cupcake holder, and then tape about 50 feet of fishing line to the cupcake holder.

When you light the candle the hot air will fill the bag. The light from the candle will shine through the bag where you have the Wesson oil like a Jack O Lantern, the bag will rise into the air the length of the fishing line like a ghostly apparition.

It’s quite wonderful and beautiful.

Then your paper cupcake holder will catch fire (Which is why you were supposed to use the aluminum ones, burn up the threads while cutting the leash. Then the paperbag will catch fire and like a burning meteor it will fly across the sky.

Inevitably, it will land in a highly flammable dead pine tree in the next door neighbor’s yard.  
Yeah, that one made a hell of an impression.  
[/QUOTE]

I’d hoped for a story about your revenge on the horror blimp, but this is even cooler.

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**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/8 "2007-10-23T11:15:42Z")

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**Scylla** , thank you for a much needed laugh! I’m going to tell my brother about this so he can have more fun games to play with his kids!

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**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/9 "2007-10-23T12:33:37Z")

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I am _so_ going to make one of those balloons! However, I’ll use the aluminum foil cupcake thingy. Though a flaming gondola sounds fun. 😃

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**Author:** ![anamnesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb8c5e/32.png) [@anamnesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anamnesis)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/10 "2007-10-23T12:50:38Z")

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[QUOTE=Scylla]  
You may think I’m cruel but they fall for this every year.  
[/QUOTE]  
I don’t think it’s cruel, although from the sound of it they seem rather surprised by it … how would a kid just forget something like that and fall for it every year?

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**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/11 "2007-10-23T12:53:22Z")

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[QUOTE=Scylla]

The struggles begin. They scream and cry and beg and fight. \*\* I sing Celine Dion.\*\*  
[/QUOTE]  
You monster.

Regards,  
Shodan

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**Author:** ![nd\_n8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/439d5e/32.png) [@nd\_n8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nd_n8)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/12 "2007-10-23T12:55:01Z")

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Thanks for the 5 minute belly laugh

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**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/13 "2007-10-23T13:14:45Z")

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[QUOTE=Scylla]  
Inevitably, it will land in a highly flammable dead pine tree in the next door neighbor’s yard.  
[/QUOTE]

Oh! the huge _Pinus_ tree!

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**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/14 "2007-10-23T13:33:22Z")

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[QUOTE=Scylla]  
Funny you should ask.

I read about this way you could make a really cool balloon.  
…  
[/QUOTE]

My high school science teacher told about a doing this when he was younger. Him and some friends got some lightweight plastic bags from a dry cleaning place, strung a bundle of birthday candles underneath and let them go at night.

The next day there were several reports of UFO sightings. I’ve always wanted to try that one.

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**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/15 "2007-10-23T13:47:33Z")

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**Scylla** , you are one way cool Daddy.

Now, what other movie can we play? I suppose \*Fight Club \* is out…how about the chariot race from _Ben-Hur_?

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**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/16 "2007-10-23T14:40:05Z")

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From your screen name I would think you’d prefer a different method of ship sinking.

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**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/17 "2007-10-23T15:13:18Z")

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[QUOTE=Scylla]  
You may think I’m cruel but they fall for this every year.  
[/QUOTE]

No, the ice cream turns it from cruel to just one of those things that Daddies do 😃

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**Author:** ![Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/59ef9b/32.png) [@Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_fight_the_hypothetical)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/18 "2007-10-23T15:25:02Z")

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The heat generated from an candle can raise an oil-soaked brown paper bag and it’s own weight as well?  
:dubious:

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**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/19 "2007-10-23T15:26:25Z")

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Titanic is the my new favorite game. Thanks for the laugh!

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**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2007, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titanic/423650/20 "2007-10-23T15:29:21Z")

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[QUOTE=Don’t fight the hypothetical]  
The heat generated from an candle can raise an oil-soaked brown paper bag and it’s own weight as well?  
:dubious:  
[/QUOTE]

Yep. They sell these for $10 in gas stations all along the Indiana highways.

Um, if anyone lost an acre or two to a fire near Equinox in southern Indiana…I tried to stop them, I really did. But drunk guys + bonfire + things on fire that fly = mucho stupidity. :smack:

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