# Titles! Who Wants a Title? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 29, 2008, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881 "2008-11-29T03:38:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/21 "2008-11-29T07:07:36Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > What can I say, I _am_ new to this. Alright, you can be baby Overlord of most everything else as long as I’m still Overlord of Titles. Along with whatever anyone comes up for me that pays homage to my master Cooper. 😃 > > Although, Grand High Exalted Panjandrum makes me feel like I have rhthym. Good job baby O! Very well. I will be Overlord; you will be my Official Bestower of Titles and Grand High Exalted Panjandrum of Alice. ---
**Author:** ![Bobotheoptimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/22 "2008-11-29T07:11:34Z")
Ruler of the Wasteland, Ayatollah of Rock and Roll-ah! But no “Humongous”. I’m sensitive about that 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/23 "2008-11-29T07:21:03Z")
> [@yams](#): > > I read this as “Titties! Who Wants Titties!” > > I already have two, so I’m not that disappointed. > > But this is not what I thought it would be. > love > yams!! Sean Connery, is that you? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/24 "2008-11-29T07:24:21Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Of course. In this world of political correctness, I believe the art of snotiness has fallen by the way. Tis a shame, really. Now that is the sort of decorum I can get behind. \< dons opera glasses and peers down patrician nose \> > [@yams](#): > > I read this as “Titties! Who Wants Titties!” > > I already have two, so I’m not that disappointed. > > But this is not what I thought it would be. > love > yams!! For that my lovely, we’ll name you Ignobler of Indifference to Itty (read: Titty Committee). Okay, that was weak, but there’s little I can do on such a short amount of Overlord sleep. > [@MEBuckner](#): > > Very well. I will be Overlord; you will be my Official Bestower of Titles and Grand High Exalted Panjandrum of Alice. \< squee! \> Ahem. I do think I’m doing this wrong. > [@Bobotheoptimist](#): > > Ruler of the Wasteland, Ayatollah of Rock and Roll-ah! > > But no “Humongous”. I’m sensitive about that 😛 Since that’s one of the coolest titles mentioned yet, you get it on sheer creativity. And as to that “humongous” business… baby, I said I wouldn’t mention it outside our special place. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/25 "2008-11-29T07:25:34Z")
> [@Nametag](#): > > Sean Connery, is that you? No playing in the title thread without proper diligence observed. What’s wrong with you my man?? ---
**Author:** ![Bacon\_Salt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/65b543/32.png) [@Bacon\_Salt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bacon_Salt)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/26 "2008-11-29T08:37:00Z")
I humbly beseech Her Exaltedness to be the High Chancellor of Puppies, Kittens, and Duckies. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/27 "2008-11-29T15:04:50Z")
> [@Captain\_Carrot](#): > > Duke of Cheese. I love cheese. Most varieties, I can eat large blocks of at a sitting. (Except Swiss and American. They’re only good alone in small chunks.) I shall be your duchess. Platonic, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/28 "2008-11-29T16:02:22Z")
Duke of Ook, Rittmeister von Luftmenschen, and Night Commander of the Bathroom. ---
**Author:** ![shallora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@shallora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shallora)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/29 "2008-11-29T16:57:29Z")
My title? Still Life with Cheese Coney and Onions ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/30 "2008-11-29T18:30:07Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > I don’t know if I’d trust anyone who doesn’t like LARGE amounts of Swiss, but I guess I’ll give it a go if you promise to subsidize a division of Gorgonzola. I didn’t say I didn’t like large amounts of Swiss, just not alone. In a sandwich, soup, or salad, please. I must shamefully admit that I have not yet tried gorgonzola. > [@Sigmagirl](#): > > I shall be your duchess. Platonic, of course. Why platonic? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/31 "2008-11-29T19:01:53Z")
O Bestower of Titles, I request the following for myself: Duke of Toronto, Counselor of the Greater Toronto Area, and Lord of the Islands ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/32 "2008-11-29T19:13:29Z")
‘Crapaud de la Trou’, please. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bobotheoptimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/33 "2008-11-29T19:32:12Z")
[QUOTE=faithfool] Since that’s one of the coolest titles mentioned yet, you get it on sheer creativity. And as to that “humongous” business… baby, I said I wouldn’t mention it outside our special place. [/QUOTE] Damn shame we don’t have customizable member status field thingies. “Member” “Charter Member” “SDSAB” “Ruler of the Wasteland, Ayatollah of Rock and Roll-ah!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Influential\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Influential\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Influential_Panda)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/34 "2008-11-29T19:33:21Z")
Executive Minister of Pony Husbandry ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/35 "2008-11-29T19:52:17Z")
New day, more titles to consider. I may or may not deign to accept you all as worthy. Behave appropriately. > [@Bacon\_Salt](#): > > I humbly beseech Her Exaltedness to be the High Chancellor of Puppies, Kittens, and Duckies. For me to even give this a moment’s thought, you must submit a squee-able picture to accompany your plea. Otherwise, your baby animal suitableness will be held in high question. > [@Sigmagirl](#): > > I shall be your duchess. Platonic, of course. Duchess of Cheese. Are you sure you can cut it? > [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Duke of Ook, Rittmeister von Luftmenschen, and Night Commander of the Bathroom. Orly? I’ll allow you on the grounds of being Ooky, but Luftmenschen will have to be proven. Do you have any references? And I already had you penciled in for potty patrol and you’ve been sitting down on the job. The royal john is in desperate need of toilet paper and I haven’t seen you about all night. What gives? Don’t make me demote you to Day Shift Supervisor of Bed Pans! > [@shallora](#): > > My title? > > Still Life with Cheese Coney and Onions Is this a specialty category? If so, you’ll need to petition the Cheeses Duke and Duch. Or will, as soon as I chastise his lack of sophistication [seen below]. > [@Captain\_Carrot](#): > > I didn’t say I didn’t like large amounts of Swiss, just not alone. In a sandwich, soup, or salad, please. I must shamefully admit that I have not yet tried gorgonzola. WHAT!?!! Heresy! Get right on this immediately and then type me up a PTS report outlining exactly what other cheesy goodness you’ve not had the good forsight to partake in. I expect your resume to be up-to-date and spotless. There needs to be no holes in that experience mate! > [@Sunspace](#): > > O Bestower of Titles, I request the following for myself: > > Duke of Toronto, Counselor of the Greater Toronto Area, and Lord of the Islands Absolutely my lord! Since I’ve always had a crush on the great Sunspace, certainly no one else would I bestow such an honor to. The Toronto division is very lucky indeed. \< bats eyelashes \> > [@glee](#): > > ‘Crapaud de la Trou’, please. 🙂 What is it with all you people having to do with underpants, bathrooms and now crap in trousers? Get out of the gutters folks! However, if you must, I definitely feel it necessary for the ones who enjoy their wallow, they should be in control. You’ve now been knighted. Go and happily Crap some more! Just not near me. > [@Influential\_Panda](#): > > Executive Minister of Pony Husbandry Only if I get to ride the pony. And again, there must be evidence! Posteth me a ponyeth pictureth. Noweth pleaseth. 🙂 ~ Further I decree, it will be in the best interest of any future applicants to supply likely (and flattering) superlatives to the Overlord Bestower of Titles (me) regarding the Saint and Master Alice. Otherwise, I’ll have to speak to the baby Overlord of Everything Else about throwing you in the dungeon without any supper. Plus, it’ll make me warm and fuzzy and we all know that’s the desired outcome. _Right?_ Go and sin no more. ---
**Author:** ![Influential\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Influential\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Influential_Panda)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/36 "2008-11-29T19:57:33Z")
Asketh, and ye shall [receiveth](http://www.minnesotafarriers.com/FatPony.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/37 "2008-11-29T20:44:15Z")
:dubious: Interesting. So what title would you suggest for me? Oh, wait, I’m to name a title for myself. I see. I’ll get back to you. ---
**Author:** ![CaerieD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@CaerieD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaerieD)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/38 "2008-11-29T21:39:21Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Can you special, for your master, in that which features skinny guys with long black hair circa the 70s? If so, email me and we’ll talk bonuses. Now what kind of Porn Czar would I be if I didn’t specialize in skinny guys with long black hair? Would the occasional appearance of eyeliner be allowable? ---
**Author:** ![Bacon\_Salt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/65b543/32.png) [@Bacon\_Salt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bacon_Salt)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/39 "2008-11-29T23:54:28Z")
I beg Her Exaltedness to forgive my oversight. Puppies: [One](http://www.breederretriever.com/photopost/data/537/beagle_pup.jpg) [Two](http://a6.vox.com/6a00c225207ca18fdb00e398f3d2be0004-320pi) [Three](http://curiousanimals.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/pug-puppy.jpg) Kittens: [One](http://www.antipope.org/charlie/gifs/shoot_kitten.jpg) [Two](http://mfrost.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/knitted_kitteh.jpg) Kitten with duckie: [One](http://lists.w3.org/Archives/Public/www-xml-blueberry-comments/2002Mar/att-0172/002_Kitten_And_Duckling_.jpg) Duckies: [One](http://lisamdicioccio.com/duckling.jpg) [Two](http://sherriesjournalthoughtsofacomplexmind.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/duckling01.jpg) Bonus: [One](http://www.hamorhollow.com/gallery/20040407-Hedgie-Pascal/20040407_003_Hedgie_Pascal_DWC768) I hope Her Exaltedness approves this mixture of new pictures and old classics. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2008, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/40 "2008-11-30T00:29:29Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Absolutely my lord! Since I’ve always had a crush on the great Sunspace, certainly no one else would I bestow such an honor to. The Toronto division is very lucky indeed. \< bats eyelashes \> :: bows deeply :: Why, think you, my lady. Both the [City](http://www.upside-down.ca/maldive/20-08MED.jpg) and the [Islands](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1a/WikiHomeWardsIsland1.jpg/800px-WikiHomeWardsIsland1.jpg) thank you. Should you grace our fair city with your presence, we would be overjoyed to have a celebration in your honour. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881.md?page=3)