# Titles! Who Wants a Title? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 29, 2008, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881 "2008-11-29T03:38:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/61 "2008-12-02T08:32:35Z")
This is the third time I’ve skimmed across this topic only to think that it says “Titties! Who Wants a Titty?” It’ll probably get me a few more times, too. ---
**Author:** ![Fetchund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b2d939/32.png) [@Fetchund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fetchund)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/62 "2008-12-02T11:50:37Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > So at this point, it’s definitely titles for everyone! Especially **Fetchund** , who came up with the best Alice-related post. > > Now, do we all feel _entitled_? 😛 Ooooh! SO entitled! I’m just so thrilled… They like me! they really like me! Ok, so I brown nose well. Anyhow - thanks! I shall wear my new honors with honor! -General Fetchund Dogsbody ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/63 "2008-12-02T12:54:31Z")
**Member of Parliament for Toot, Whistle, Plunk and Boom** , if it’s still free. I’d also like the ceremonial role of **Keeper of the Imperial Bacon** , an it please Your Overlorditude. ---
**Author:** ![Eggerhaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@Eggerhaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eggerhaus)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/64 "2008-12-02T22:04:45Z")
**Lord Protector of All Cats** , please. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2008, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/65 "2008-12-02T23:40:02Z")
Being that Britain has it’s “First Sea Lord” or something to that effect, I’d ask for “First Air Lord”, but that sounds kind of goofy. However, given my current school, I want to be: Lord Prime Minister of All Things that go Boom, Bang, and Kapow! Tripler - already styled _Vengeful Guardian of All which does Not Suck_ by a previous Doper Overlord. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/66 "2008-12-03T00:03:06Z")
I’d like to be called… the Roosh. That would be all. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/67 "2008-12-03T00:39:33Z")
I wouldn’t dream of believing I was worthy of any noble type of title, so may I please have: Head Ferret Wrangler ---
**Author:** ![Shecky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@Shecky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shecky)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/68 "2008-12-03T12:44:26Z")
> [@yams](#): > > I read this as “Titties! Who Wants Titties!” > > I already have two, so I’m not that disappointed. > > But this is not what I thought it would be. “I’ll take famous titties for $400 please.” ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/69 "2008-12-03T14:49:14Z")
I request the same title I always request: “Head Librarian and Keeper of the Cheese”. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2008, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/70 "2008-12-03T16:26:13Z")
> [@Captain\_Carrot](#): > > I didn’t say I didn’t like large amounts of Swiss, just not alone. In a sandwich, soup, or salad, please. I must shamefully admit that I have not yet tried gorgonzola. > > Why platonic? 😃 My husband wouldn’t have it any other way. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/71 "2008-12-04T09:48:01Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > I’d also like the ceremonial role of **Keeper of the Imperial Bacon** > [@Max\_Torque](#): > > I request the same title I always request: “Head Librarian and Keeper of the Cheese”. We should meet once a “Keeper of the Hamburger Patties” is appointed. However, we should be very careful before we invite the “Keeper of the Buns” as a misunderstanding could cause things to get embarrassing. ---
**Author:** ![grey\_ideas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dfb087/32.png) [@grey\_ideas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grey_ideas)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/72 "2008-12-04T10:35:13Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > \< squee! \> > > Ahem. I do think I’m doing this wrong. I should say so, you went from “Overlord” to “Official Bestower of Titles and Grand High Exalted Panjandrum of Alice” in just a matter of hours! Ah I long for the days when our mods wore jackboots instead of this subtle method of usurping people that **MEBuckner** has adopted! > [@faithfool](#): > > So say I’m your new Overlord (evil or not, depending on how you look at it) Now come on…I need to know these things! An evil overlord would have a requirement for a **Minister in Charge of Henchman Education and Evaluation**. Responsibilities include such things as ensuring that none of your lackeys wear full face covering armour, your minions are not the son/daughter of someone you killed 20 years ago in your quest for power and glory and that palace guards are aware that they are allowed to all attack the good guy at once…instead of the usual ‘circle the good guy and attack him/her one at a time’. This is a full time position you know…do you know how long it takes to re-educate a dedicated minion after they’ve spent any amount of time in the employ of a Bond baddie? Still, I suppose that the title “overlord” does assume a certain evilness, so if I could apply for this position I would be most grateful…someone’s got to watch out for the lackeys you hire! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881/73 "2008-12-04T14:46:00Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > My husband wouldn’t have it any other way. Oh. errr… hm. Yes. Ha. Just kidding! :o [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/titles-who-wants-a-title/474881.md?page=3)