# Tits. Big, small, love them all. Does it matter if they are fake? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 10, 2001, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306 "2001-01-10T09:19:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![dustMagnate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/fbc32d/32.png) [@dustMagnate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dustMagnate)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306/61 "2001-01-11T20:46:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sue Duhnym \* > \*\* > When I was 16, a male friend and I were talking about breasts in general. > > Offhandedly he said, “You’ve got nice tits. Tell me, do you have those cute little nipples or big, nasty ones like Martha (Martha being his ex-girlfriend)?” > > Having “big, nasty nipples” I declined to reply but was scarred for life. > > It still pisses me off. > \*\* Big nasty nipples are great. Not to excuse the thoughtless fuck but he was probably joking, hoping to get a glimpse to find out, and not knowing that he was being hurtful. You could have scarred _him_ for life by admitting luscious nipples, offering a feel and then retracting the offer immediately, laughing at his blue balls…perhaps even going into detail about his prostate popping from ‘unspent dead sperm cells’. 16 is mighty young to get a sex scar: I didn’t start scarring until I was 19 (way too shy). ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306/62 "2001-01-11T21:49:34Z")
Ahh . . . Sex scars. _- pointing -_ See this? That’s from the Great Futon Incident of ’93. This little beauty was acquired during the Orpheus parade in ’96. And this? Well, there’s quite a story behind that one, but kids read the SDMB . . . ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306/63 "2001-01-11T22:25:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lee \* > **The test for fake boobies is if they fall into her armpit when she is on he back, they are real** Not true. Well-done fake boobs will fall into the armpit too. (I used to be a topless dancer, I saw a lot of fake boobage) ---
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306/64 "2001-01-12T02:21:13Z")
I’m not a big fan of fake breasts because my personal asthetic sense prefers small chested women. That said, if I’m hugging you close, it aint your tits I’m looking at, its your eyes. Breasts are the mirror of the males desire, the eyes are the mirror of hers. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306/65 "2001-01-12T21:38:00Z")
We were just discussing this subject at work today as one of the tabloids had a photo of the model, Jordan, who’s just had yet another boob job making her something like a 38FF. Personally I think they look grotesque on someone with her frame, but I guess _somebody_ must like them. I’m a 34B and I love my breasts. Wouldn’t change a thing about them. And I’ve never been with a guy who seemed at all unhappy with them either. I understand someone with a AA or even an A wanting to augment but anyone with a B or higher cup who wants the surgery has problems a boob job won’t fix IMHO. [/soapbox] ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306/66 "2001-01-12T23:42:25Z")
Why do women feel the need to slice their flesh open and insert plastic bags into their body? To quote the old Billy Joel song “I love you just the way you are.” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306/67 "2001-01-13T22:34:10Z")
I have a strong preference for natural, non-augmented breasts. My wife and I were watching some dumb thing called “Bikini Blast” on the Travel Channel last night (don’t ask), and as always, we would simultaneously say, “Ugh, fake” every time they showed some woman with a pair of half-canteloupes attached to her chest. I’m not saying it’s impossible to have a nice, tasteful enhancement done, and I wouldn’t dream of making any generalizations about the psychology of someone who desires the procedure. I’m just saying my own preference, by sight and touch, is for natural and unenhanced. The women I’ve been with have all had natural breasts. They ranged from rail-thin with small breasts that would just fill a cupped hand (mmmmm) to, er, quite large. My wife is, shall we say, soft and round in general, and I love that too. The reason I don’t like looking at obviously fake breasts is this: they call my attention to them. Natural breasts don’t necessarily catch my eye; it’s easier to see the whole body. But fake breasts stand out (pun intended), so it’s harder to see the whole woman. And I’ve had only one opportunity to fondle a fake breast. It’s kind of a long story; the short version is that I was shooting a television commercial for a strip club, and one of the dancers who was performing in the commercial offered to let me feel her up. (It’s a **really** long story.) I accepted, and I tried to be nice about it, but it just felt, I don’t know, weird. It was sort of like feeling a thick rubber pad in the front of a girl suit. I don’t know how to describe it any better than that. Just my two, um, cents. ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306/68 "2001-01-14T00:22:55Z")
You know, I believe that this thread begs the question: Why in the name of Amerterasu’s Loins do we not have a “Boobies of the Straight Dope” page? I think we really, really, need to have such a page, that profiles all the boobies we have here, and let’s all the dopers have a nice rack to put with the name. In any case, we should really see if we can move on this. ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306/69 "2001-01-14T00:36:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lexicon \* > \*\*You know, I believe that this thread begs the question: > > Why in the name of Amerterasu’s Loins do we not have a > “Boobies of the Straight Dope” page? > > I think we really, really, need to have such a page, that profiles all the boobies we have here, and let’s all the dopers have a nice rack to put with the name. > > In any case, we should really see if we can move on this. \*\* I am _more_ than willing to put my boobies on show for all who want to see. ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306/70 "2001-01-14T01:04:29Z")
Me too. But I don’t think anyone wants to see my fat, hairy man boobs. ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306/71 "2001-01-14T01:16:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*Is it a North American thing for men to be obsessed with breasts? As far as I know, Continental (straight) men are more interested in a woman’s behind than her chest. \*\* Yep that’s American men for the most part (of which I’m a part of :)…). European men, generally speaking, go more for the behind (… or, at least, many ladies have informed me of this). … Ooooh!! Lexi!! That’s a brilliant idea!! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306/72 "2001-01-14T04:01:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lexicon \* > \*\*Me too. But I don’t think anyone wants to see my fat, hairy man boobs. > \*\* Y’all have already seen my chest, so what’s the point of even posting a [link](http://www.geocities.com/sdpeoplepages/iampunha.html)? ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306/73 "2001-01-14T04:17:37Z")
[hijack] So who do I talk to to get my pics up there? And on that Tattoo pic thing, as well? I’ll send in pics of my tats and my man-boobs as well. Maybe a decent pic, too. Not bloody likely though@# Just lemme know where to send 'em once I’ve got 'em scanned. [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306/74 "2001-01-14T05:32:45Z")
Yea…we need Mnementh boobies… er…sword. I want to see the sword. I’m serious. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306/75 "2001-01-14T06:32:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\*Y’all have already seen my chest, so what’s the point of even posting a [link](http://www.geocities.com/sdpeoplepages/iampunha.html)? \*\* Yes, Paddy, everyone’s seen your boobs, and I just happen to like them. I hope you don’t mind if I want to touch them. That’s just how I am. See, if I put a picture of my boobs up on this board, I’d get it deleted, so I’ll just refrain from offering. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306/76 "2001-01-14T10:43:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silo \* > **Yep that’s American men for the most part (of which I’m a part of :)…). European men, generally speaking, go more for the behind (… or, at least, many ladies have informed me of this).** European men being my specialty 😉 it’s a bit of both. They’re more bum-obsessed than American men, but no less breast-obsessed. One thing to keep in mind is that bare breasts aren’t as taboo in Europe as they are in America. You see them on TV, in tabloids, on billboards, etc (cue loads of “Note to self: move to Europe” responses from American Dopers) so maybe they seem like less of a big deal over here. But I can assure you that European men like them just as much as you Yank-boys do. ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306/77 "2001-01-14T17:22:46Z")
I like all tits. Big tits, little tits, you name it. In fact I want to drive right down the tit turnpike into the middle of tit town. I’m also partial to larger nipples, at least big enough to make a good mouthful. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tits-big-small-love-them-all-does-it-matter-if-they-are-fake/49306.md?page=3)